ham Page 289 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sometimes It's Good To Be A Policia
In Rome, Barca fans soaked in the victory at the Trevi Fountain and the police were on-hand in riot gear to make sure that if these two ecstatic young women started to kiss each other or disrobe, they'd be safe from bullets and billy clubs. (Courtesy WSJ's Awesomeness)...

The Faces (And Belly) Of Disappointment For Man U
We've all been there—just be glad a professional photographer wasn't around to capture your lowest moment as a sports fan. (Caption: Disappointment was clear on the faces of Manchester United fans during the final minutes of the team's game against Barcelona Wednesday.) [Photo: Alessia Pierdomenico/...

Barcelona and Manchester United Fight Over World's Remaining Marbles
I think I can say without hyperbole that for soccer nuts, today is like Christmas, Fourth of July, and the Super Bowl all rolled into one—only 100 million times bigger. It's the UEFA Champions League Final Day ... and you stupid Yanks are stuck at work!...

Cricket Player Sidelined Due To Violent Case Of The G-dubs
"The medical board has reported that Shoaib Akhtar was suffering from genital viral warts and the wound needs further care and treatment for another 10 days," the PCB said in a statement."[GuardianUK]...

Mets Fan Swallowed By Citi Field Toilet
Oh, Mets fans! It feels like the whole world is out to get you, but honestly, you're kinda asking for it. When one of you goes diving into a baseball stadium toilet after a gold tooth and gets stuck ... we're all a little embarrassed for you....

Never Try To Steal A Car From Najeh Davenport
If you see a car parked on the street with the engine running, you'd probably be tempted to jump in and take a ride. Just make sure it doesn't belong to Najeh Davenport, because he will chase your ass down....

James Harrison Snubs Obama, America
The Steelers' Silverback linebacker has caused many sports fans and journalists to gasp and mutter "you dumb bastard" under their breath after he scoffed at the White House invite....

Let's Reconsider Making A 2 Legit 2 Twit Joke
M.C. Hammer: "Watching No Doubt with Big Ben and my Son at Tiger Woods event !!" [M.C. Hammer Twitter]...

Citi Field Streaking Jabroni Faces Stiff Consequences
38-year-old Craig Coakley made a bet with his boss that he'd streak across Citi Field with a stuffed monkey jockstrap. He succeeded! Now he's never allowed back to Citi Field again....

How 'Bout 'Dem Ladies Killing Their Husbands Over 'Dem Cowboys?
" An Allen woman accused of killing her husband said she stabbed him in the heart after he turned up the volume of a Dallas Cowboys game, according to media reports." [DMN]...

An Action-Packed Evening In Philadelphia With Exploding Faces And Slippery Chases
Cole Hamels finally gets a win. Werth hits a homer that smacks a lady in the face. A kid ran onto the field. At the end of it all — still first place. [The700Level]...

There Is Another Sanchez Living Inside Mark Sanchez's Mouth
New York media, please be on high alert: It turns out the man drafted to save the Jets' franchise from the ghost of Favre and the incompetence of Clemens/Ratliff allegedly is lip- inked and loves doggy-style....

Chelsea Is Not Taking Their Champions League Defeat Well
Barcelona pulled off a miraculously late rally to win their Champions League semi-final slugfest over Chelsea yesterday, but the defeated English are having some trouble coping. At least no one has hung themselves! Yet....

Arsenal Fan Commits Suicide After Champions League Wipeout
A Kenyan soccer fan hung himself—in his Arsenal jersey—after his favorite team got thumped by Manchester United in the Champions League yesterday. That is not dealing well with defeat....

Joba Chamberlain's Mother Still Has Some Problems
The mother of the Yankees' hurler was arrested for dealing meth to an undercover officer. This is written by the same newspaper that did the long-ish profile on her last fall. [Lincoln Star Journal]...

And The Fun Starts Tonight
Mets fans, welcome back to Citizens Bank Park. Tonight is the first game of our meaningless little rivalry that seems to bring out the free-swingers in all of us. First up, El Gonzo, from Philly.com...

Keep Your Head In The Game At All Times, Even When It's Split Open
A good portion of Americans join softball leagues this time of the year. Many do it for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful....

Citi Field Security Cracks Down On Sprawling Negativity
Apparently the Citi Field security goons are over-sensitive this year. Two times last week they took away signs from fans. First was the K's controversy. Then there's this incident....

Big Papi Fires Warning Shot Over Joba's Bow
Their series doesn't begin until tomorrow, but David Ortiz thought he'd get in a preemptive strike today against Joba Chamberlain and the Yankees. Hey Joba, please don't throw at our noggins....
