ham Page 298 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
TBS Executive Completely Drunk on Own Caliendo Juice
It's pretty easy to complain about those damn "Frank TV" ads that pop up seemingly every commercial break during TBS' postseason baseball coverage and pretty much everyone has. Even Frank Caliendo. (On a side note: I find the DirecTV ads featuring Craig T. Nelson and Heather O'Rourke even more troub...
The New York Times Helps Matt Stairs Retrieve His Masculinity
Matt Stairs' stay as a Philadelphia's favorite 40-year-old beefy homer-hitting Canuck continues today, with a story about him in today's New York Times that gives America's baseball nation a closer glimpse at the 16-year vet. The whole piece focuses on Stairs' everyman-ness and how he's a "guys' guy...
Kimbo Clashes With Ken Shamrock, Gina Carano Likely To Stay Clothed
Kimbo Slice is moving on from his tangle with the magical elf and will be entering the ring in a guaranteed bloodbath with Ken Shamrock. This will be the the most experienced opponent so far for Slice and he needs to stay on his feet if he wants to win. Slice is terrible on his back and Shamrock's s...
Watch Your Balls Around This Kid
Young Zack Hample, who scrounges for major league baseballs with the determination of a bear in a restaurant dumpster, has recorded rather a noteworthy feat; having caught the final Mets home run ball at Shea Stadium. This came on Sunday (Carlos Beltran), about a week after Hample had caught home ru...
Prince Fielder Would Like To Invite You To Milwaukee's Erotic Playoff-Clinching Festivities
Perhaps the most joyful of playoff entrants this year are the Milwaukee Brewers, who just a couple weeks ago were in the midst of an epic free-fall out of wild card contention. Ned Yost was shown the door, Dale Sveum moved over to the manager's stoop (and didn't wave anyone home from the dugout), t...
Costas Out: There Should Be Better Gay Athlete Stories
Bob Costas, pocket-sized television sports reporter and popular feud instigator, gave a long, detailed interview to AfterElton.com as to why NBC neglected to make a bigger story out Australian diver Matthew Mitcham's gold medal victory, since he was the only openly gay man at the Games. NBC had alre...
Meet Dr. James Andrews: The Man Who Operates On Your Favorite Player
In the last two decades, Dr. James Andrews became the de facto orthopaedic surgeon to sports stars everywhere. His name is synonymous with sports surgery, as is his location in Birmingham, Alabama. Now Fast Company takes you inside the operating room with the man who fixed Michael Jordan, Jack Nick...
Will The Real Joba Please Stand Up?
In a move that soils the impeccable reputation of the Jersey shore, 29-year old Ryan Ward was caught using his physical resemblance to Joba Chamberlain to get girls into bed. ...
NFL Season Preview: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
The NFL season has officially started, so it's time to finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these previews will be running until, o...
It Shoulda Been You, Bud Selig
Coming soon through Pendant Publishing, the autobiographical thriller: I Was Locked In the Loo: The Giovanni Cobolli Gigli Story. What do you do when you're afraid your league president is being uncooperative? Lock him in the restroom, of course. Oh soccer, you're so cute. (For the record, I tried t...
Rudi Johnson Released From Bengals, Presumably For Good Behavior
You KNOW you're washed up when even the Bengals don't want you around anymore. Such is the case with Rudi Johnson, the tough Bengals running back whom you could pencil in for 1,300 yards and 12 touchdowns each season. At least that was the case before the franchise ran him into the ground. Last seas...
College Football Previews: #10 Texas
At long last, we enter the top 10. Your author is Peter Bean of Burnt Orange Nation. He's also the author of The Eyes of Texas 2008. You'll be happy to know that the above picture of Jenna Bush rocking the longhorn sign sent Muslim hearts spinning because they believed it was a sign of Satan. Oklah...
Stop Us If You've Heard This One Before
David Hirshey Michael Bertin writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. If the season were to end today Stupid Fucking Bolton would be going to the Champions League. A corner of the universe just started to fold in on itself simply because that sentence was typed. If... If my aunt had a penis she'd...
College Football Previews: #14 Texas Tech
Today's Texas Tech preview of pirate head coach Mike Leach is brought to you by Stephen Hagen. He's a Texas Tech alum and he hates A&M with unmitigated fury. So with only ten days until kickoff, enjoy his preview. Also, again, I'd like to apologize to all the people who wrote in requesting to do a p...
Oh, Sergio...
Padraig Harrington had just given Sergio Garcia the lead in the PGA Championship with just four holes to play when he bogeyed number 14 at Oakland Hills. It took exactly two holes for Garcia to return the favor in kind when he inexplicably went after the tightest pin on the golf course with his appr...
The PGA Championship Is Off and Running
The first players are finishing their rounds at Oakland Hills Country Club outside of Detroit. Somewhere on his island kingdom in Florida Tiger Woods is not even bothering to watch. Meanwhile golf fans who are stuck at their desks would do anything to be able to skip out of work and listen to the d...
Joba Chamberlain's Aching Shoulder May Have Officially Killed The Yankees' Post-Season Hopes
The above photo was taken a few weeks ago when Yankees' ace Joba Chamberlain popped into random Dunkin' Donuts in Manhattan to serve cold coffee-like beverages to unsuspecting customers. Maybe that's how he tweaked his shoulder. The 22-year-old ace-in-training is getting it looked at by Birmingham, ...
Man Reminds People Of Kevin Costner Movie Character. Sad, Really
Mike DiFelice believes Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. He believes there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. He believes in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, and that following the future Apocalypse, the world will be covered with water and some ...
Joba Rules Fenway
The Yankees came into Boston on a six-game winning streak and in the end Mariano Rivera kept it alive. Joba Chamberlain dominated the Red Sox lineup for seven shutout innings, striking out nine while allowing just three hits. Kyle Farnsworth did his best to fuck things up in the eighth when he gave...
The Second Coming Of Josh Hamilton Begins Tonight
Here's Texas Rangers slugger and True American Christian Hero, Josh Hamilton in his pre-Jesus days when he got arrested in May 2005 after his bomb-tastic 24th birthday party in North Carolina....