heat Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Did Stephen Jackson Confirm Tony Parker's Infidelity With Brent Barry's Ex-Wife?
Former NBA players Stephen Jackson and Matt Barnes are the latest athletes to join the ridiculously oversaturated world of podcasting—don’t forget to subscribe to ours, by the way—with a show called “All the Smoke.” The focus, as outlined in this interview with CBS Sports, is for the two hosts to ha...
Heat Suspend Dion Waiters For Having A Tantrum On The Bench During Preseason
As the NBA preseason comes to a close and teams work to finalize what their regular season rosters will look like, it would appear that one player has decided to make their team’s rotation choices a little bit easier: Dion Waiters. The man who’s famous for scoring a game-winning buzzer-beater agains...
Report: One Of Rudy Giuliani's Ukraine Cronies Was Once Sued By The Miami Heat
Now that Lev Parnas, one of Rudy Giuliani’s henchmen and a member of Trump’s inner circle, has been arrested and charged with manipulating the American electoral system and funneling Russian money into U.S. elections, all sorts of details are emerging and reemerging about his slimy little life....
Vince Carter Remains Vince Carter, Drains Threes Over Hapless Knicks
If you have not watched a Hawks game on TV lately, you may have missed a number of ESPN graphics reminding you incessantly and in various creative ways that Vince Carter is old, older than his team’s entire roster combined, old enough to be Trae Young’s dad’s dad, so old he played pickup with James ...
Jimmy Butler Compares Himself To A Work Of Art, Specifically A Banksy
No forecast of Jimmy Butler’s surging cheese levels, no matter how thorough, could have anticipated the day he compared himself to a Banksy artwork. It’s too on the nose, but that’s exactly what the Heat forward told Haute Living in last week’s profile. (Also revealed: Butler has taken on a bit of a...
Let's Not Get Too Excited About Tyler Herro, The Greatest Player In The History Of The NBA
He scored Miami’s first 14 points on 5-for-5 shooting in Monday night’s preseason game against the Hawks, but it is probably best not to read too much into 19-year-old rookie Tyler Herro, the greatest shooting guard in the history of the Miami Heat, and for that matter, the NBA. Preseason basketball...
The Athletic Outrages White Men Everywhere By Censoring Their Opinions On China
The Athletic didn’t publish any articles about Houston Rockets GM Daryl Morey’s since-deleted Friday tweet in support of pro-democracy Hong Kong protestors, or about the subsequent manic attempts at damage control by the Rockets owner and the NBA, until a couple days after the controversy began. It ...
Let Me Explain This Hilarious Cycling Scandal To You
Let us now chronicle the rise and sort-of fall of British YouTuber and now-former national e-cycling champion Cameron Jeffers. Unfortunately, the nouns in this story do not become that much easier to understand as we proceed, but please bear with me....
Jimmy Butler Will Reach His Final Form In Miami
It took zero days of Miami Heat training camp for cheese to continue cascading out of Jimmy Butler’s pores. In truth, the cheese began to flow T-minus 6.5 hours before camp even started: Butler got up at 3:30 a.m. on Tuesday to squeeze in a morning workout, per the Miami Herald, and he made sure eve...
Allen Hurns Out With Concussion After Colliding Hard With Jeff Heath
Early in the first quarter of Cowboys-Dolphins, Miami quarterback Josh Rosen tried to find receiver Allen Hurns and threw a pass towards the middle of the field. Also tracking the ball was Dallas safety Jeff Heath, who collided hard with Hurns as he was going for the interception. Since neither play...
Kobe Bryant Clarifies Rob Pelinka's Story About Meeting With Heath Ledger, Who Had Already Died
An ESPN article published this past May recounted a strange story: Lakers GM Rob Pelinka bizarrely claimed that Kobe Bryant was inspired by the depiction of the Joker in The Dark Knight, sought out and enjoyed dinner with Heath Ledger (who was dead), and then channeled that inspiration to drop 61 po...
The Athletic Can't Stop Humping Useless Butter Coffee
Here’s a question: What would happen if you combined the vapidity of ubiquitous trend pieces about athletes eating and drinking things with the cravenness of brand subservience? You’d probably end up with something like this article from The Athletic....
Let's Do The Math On The Athletic
The Athletic, the subscription-based sports news startup aiming to make local newspaper sports sections obsolete, has all the momentum in the world. It’s raised more than $90 million in venture-capital funding, has expanded to nearly 50 cities in the U.S. and Canada, and is now launching English Pre...
MLB Suspends Four Pirates, Three Reds, One Guy Who's Now On A Different Team For Brawl
MLB has announced the fallout for Tuesday night’s brawl during Pirates-Reds: Six players and both managers have been suspended. Pittsburgh relief pitcher Keone Kela “won” with the longest punishment at 10 games, but all the players are appealing theirs....
Dastardly Cardinals Pitcher Totally Gets Away With Cheating
During the top of the third inning of Wednesday night’s Cubs-Cardinals game, I briefly slipped into a coma and dreamt of Eduardo Pérez and Jon Sciambi facing off in the kal-if-fee. In the bottom of the third inning, Cardinals pitcher Miles Mikolas totally cheated and got away with it....
Report: The Admissions Side Door May Have Been Open For UCLA Applicants With Influential Connections
The college admissions cheating scandal revealed the details of a formalized process for jamming the failchildren of wealthy and prominent families into otherwise credible and prestigious universities, using an expensive “side door” for parents whose wealth leaves them a rung or two shy of the oppor...
Man, It's A Hot One (For Baseball)
Saturday’s downright oppressive heatwave has affected a portion of the United States that spans from the Northeast all the way to certain parts of the Midwest. In the NYC/Southern New York state area, an excessive heat warning has been in effect all weekend until 8 p.m. on Sunday, and the National W...
Award-Winning Lamb Under Investigation For PEDs
A grand champion lamb is currently under investigation after a veterinarian discovered a foreign substance in the animal’s system that might have given it an unfair advantage over its competitors. Tests from the Ohio Department of Agriculture reveal that the lamb was given a diuretic, which is banne...
Free Chris Paul
Before the Houston Rockets traded Chris Paul to the rebuilding Oklahoma City Thunder last week, they reportedly tried to involve a third team in the deal, in order to redirect Paul to a more competitive situation. When that effort proved especially cumbersome, Rockets general manager Daryl Morey res...
Chess Grandmaster Caught Using His Phone While On The Toilet During A Tournament
Latvian-Czech chess grandmaster Igors Rausis is reportedly under investigation after he was caught checking his phone while on the toilet in the middle of a tournament he was participating in. Rausis signed a declaration stating that the phone that investigators eventually found in a toilet stall wa...