henry-kissinger - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The week in random sports news: Mbappe could be gone, the Bears, well, are the Bears and what were the Yankees thinking?In the end, the Chicago Bears screwed up what could have been something historic. Last week they managed to be the first team to lose while winning the turnover battle by three and holding the ball for 40 minutes. They had the chance to do it two weeks in a row and live forever. Instead, they’re jus...

Who else but the Yankees would release a statement about Henry Kissinger dying?There is probably a long treatise on how a crumbling empire of a baseball team wants to honor Henry Kissinger, the architect of American exceptionalism being an excuse to do whatever that country wants around the world that only led to this crumbling empire, but quite frankly I’m too tired and incap...

Ancient War Goblin Henry Kissinger Defends Olympics In <i>Los Angeles Times</i>Every global-scale sporting event exists in a strange standoff with itself. On one side is the inevitable bloat and graft and soul-deep cynicism that animates every such event—the neighborhoods flattened or surveilled or otherwise punished for sitting where a stadium is supposed to be, the bribery a...

Sepp Blatter's "Council of Wisdom" May Include...Placido Domingo?

Previously in our Sepp Blatter is a loathsome historical figure series, we likened the Swiss dictator of FIFA to a wicked American president and a murderous Chilean general. But where does one go with the news that Blatter now wants a Spanish opera star to help him clean up corruption in FIFA? This ...

Chile To Investigate Pablo Neruda's Death; FIFA-Adviser Henry Kissinger To Investigate His Navel

A judge in Chile just ordered an investigation into the mysterious death of poet Pablo Neruda, who supposedly succumbed to prostate cancer 12 days after a Henry Kissinger-backed right wing coup installed a hideous dictator who brutalized and slaughtered his own people for years. The circumstances su...

War Criminal To Advise FIFA On Compliance

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, newly re-installed FIFA dictator Sepp Blatter has announced that that avatar of moral probity, Henry Kissinger, will advise FIFA's new corporate governance and compliance body from his seat on a "committee of wise persons."...