hi Page 1002 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>Jake And The Neverland Pirates</i>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. ...
Thousands Of NFL Players' Medical Records Stolen From Skins Trainer
In late April, the NFL recently informed its players, a Skins athletic trainer’s car was broken into. The thief took a backpack, and inside that backpack was a cache of electronic and paper medical records for thousands of players, including NFL Combine attendees from the last 13 years. That would e...
The Rockies Sacrificed Seven Baseballs On The Altar Of The Dinger Gods
Last night in Colorado, whispers rode on the winds coming from the mountains in the west. Those who listened closely could hear a call to action. “Dingers,” the whispers said. “Slake our ancient thirst. Bring us... dingers.”...
Mets Fan Beats Chris Sale In Rock-Paper-Scissors, Wins Autograph
Chris Sale didn’t pitch today against the Mets, but he did have time for a little pregame rock-paper-scissors with an autograph-seeking Mets fan. My man lost, like the White Sox have in his last two starts, and he graciously signed the autograph....
Report: Two More Baylor Football Staffers Fired
Two more members of Baylor’s athletics department have been fired, USA Today reports tonight, citing an anonymous source. They are Colin Shillinglaw, the athletics director for football operations, and longtime athletics staffer Tom Hill. Both were fired last week. ...
Twitter User Jim Harbaugh Roasts "Amazing" Nick Saban
There’s been a fairly mundane controversy swirling about the college football offseason regarding the legality of satellite football camps (little coaching clinics put on by schools used as a recruiting tactic) and whether or not head coaches should attend. In April, the NCAA banned satellite camps,...
Mookie Betts Spent His Evening Scattering Dingers About The Yard
Entering the 2016 season, Mookie Betts had 23 career home runs in 197 games of work. Through the first 52 games of this season, he has 12 already, three of which came tonight as he helped the Red Sox beat the Orioles, 6-2. Impressively, he sent pitches to left, right, and center fields tonight....
Padres Catcher Christian Bethancourt Made The Most Of His Chance To Pitch
The Padres got walloped 16-4 this afternoon by the Mariners, and they lost the first two games of a weird home and away pair of two-game series on opposite ends of the (American) Pacific coast by an aggregate score of 25-7. It only took Seattle five innings to accrue all their runs, which ushered in...
Paul Pogba Is A Goddamn Freak
This is one of those goal highlights where I couldn’t care less about what the scorer—in this case, France’s Olivier Giroud, who finished the play with a nice little volley—does. The only thing I’m here for is this spectacular long-range cross by Paul Pogba. It’s unreal....
Oh My God, Look At This Giant Fucking Alligator
This impossibly large alligator was spotted on a golf course in Florida. I’m just gonna throw this out there, and feel free to disagree, but it is my opinion that this gator is too large. ...
Guy Who Promised To Eat His Shirt If The Warriors Won Eats His Shirt
Reddit user PARTYxDIRTYDAN was feeling pretty confident about the Oklahoma City Thunder’s chances against the Golden State Warriors. Even after the Warriors came storming back to win Game 6 on Saturday night, our man was feeling strong enough to promise that he’d eat his shirt if the Warriors went o...
Good God, Look At What Dimitri Payet's Done This Time
Reigning king of the free kick Dimitri Payet showed off his craft again today in a friendly against Cameroon, delivering France the victory with this screamer....
The Cardinals Lost Their 25th Game
Stephen Strasburg gave up a single run over his six innings, and the Washington Nationals knocked around the St. Louis Cardinals bullpen late, combining to send the Cardinals to a 10-2 road loss Sunday....
The Royals, Dead, Buried, Semi-Decomposed, Came Back To Beat The White Sox
Not often you see a dude round first and get mobbed under a pig-pile of teammates in the Majors, even when that’s a walk-off single. But there was Brett Eibner at the bottom of a heap of blue laundry in Kansas City this afternoon, after he capped the biggest ninth-inning comeback in the Royals’ 7,59...
Bear Catches Belly Rays
Above is a local news story about some rude bears barging into people’s homes to look for post-hibernation snacks. There are good bears in the clip, but none better than this one right here:...
Bryce Harper Finally Got A Pitch To Swing At And He Dinged A Huge Dang Dong
Look, Bryce Harper has been sort of grumpy fella lately, on account of everyone is walking him and pitching around him like he’s Babe Ruth or something. Not so much tonight. Mike Leake hung a pitch against Harper this evening so he sent it to the third deck. ...
Jose Bautista Murders Beverage
The Blue Jays beat the Yankees tonight and the Blue Jays’ best slugger even had the nerve to take it out on Yankees fans, smashing a beverage (presumably beer?) showering the upper chunk of a section in suds (or maybe soda! who knows!). ...
Compounding Throwing Errors Turn Wild Pitch Into Three Stooges Routine
Look, baseball is hard. You have to catch and throw a little tiny white ball past someone who wants to murder it with a stick that was expressly made to murder the ball. If your opponent clobbers it, you have to scramble around and shit. This isn’t to excuse the incredible meltdown Oakland suffered ...
Nomar Mazara Hit The Devils Out Of This Baseball
Angels pitcher Hector Santiago unwisely tried to throw a breaking ball past Nomar Mazara, a big strong rookie who has been doing great things for the Texas Rangers. The ball didn’t really break, because the universe does not reward trickery, and Mazara cleansed it:...
Yep, Michigan RB Was Run Over By A Forklift
Michigan running back Drake Johnson was injured under mysterious circumstances last month, with speculation centering around a freak forklift injury, but no one from the program willing to give any details. Now thanks to the Detroit News’ open-records request, we have confirmation: dude got run over...