hi Page 1056 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Paul Pogba Is A Goddamn Freak
This is one of those goal highlights where I couldn’t care less about what the scorer—in this case, France’s Olivier Giroud, who finished the play with a nice little volley—does. The only thing I’m here for is this spectacular long-range cross by Paul Pogba. It’s unreal....
Oh My God, Look At This Giant Fucking Alligator
This impossibly large alligator was spotted on a golf course in Florida. I’m just gonna throw this out there, and feel free to disagree, but it is my opinion that this gator is too large. ...
Guy Who Promised To Eat His Shirt If The Warriors Won Eats His Shirt
Reddit user PARTYxDIRTYDAN was feeling pretty confident about the Oklahoma City Thunder’s chances against the Golden State Warriors. Even after the Warriors came storming back to win Game 6 on Saturday night, our man was feeling strong enough to promise that he’d eat his shirt if the Warriors went o...
Good God, Look At What Dimitri Payet's Done This Time
Reigning king of the free kick Dimitri Payet showed off his craft again today in a friendly against Cameroon, delivering France the victory with this screamer....
The Cardinals Lost Their 25th Game
Stephen Strasburg gave up a single run over his six innings, and the Washington Nationals knocked around the St. Louis Cardinals bullpen late, combining to send the Cardinals to a 10-2 road loss Sunday....
The Royals, Dead, Buried, Semi-Decomposed, Came Back To Beat The White Sox
Not often you see a dude round first and get mobbed under a pig-pile of teammates in the Majors, even when that’s a walk-off single. But there was Brett Eibner at the bottom of a heap of blue laundry in Kansas City this afternoon, after he capped the biggest ninth-inning comeback in the Royals’ 7,59...
Bear Catches Belly Rays
Above is a local news story about some rude bears barging into people’s homes to look for post-hibernation snacks. There are good bears in the clip, but none better than this one right here:...
Bryce Harper Finally Got A Pitch To Swing At And He Dinged A Huge Dang Dong
Look, Bryce Harper has been sort of grumpy fella lately, on account of everyone is walking him and pitching around him like he’s Babe Ruth or something. Not so much tonight. Mike Leake hung a pitch against Harper this evening so he sent it to the third deck. ...
Jose Bautista Murders Beverage
The Blue Jays beat the Yankees tonight and the Blue Jays’ best slugger even had the nerve to take it out on Yankees fans, smashing a beverage (presumably beer?) showering the upper chunk of a section in suds (or maybe soda! who knows!). ...
Compounding Throwing Errors Turn Wild Pitch Into Three Stooges Routine
Look, baseball is hard. You have to catch and throw a little tiny white ball past someone who wants to murder it with a stick that was expressly made to murder the ball. If your opponent clobbers it, you have to scramble around and shit. This isn’t to excuse the incredible meltdown Oakland suffered ...
Nomar Mazara Hit The Devils Out Of This Baseball
Angels pitcher Hector Santiago unwisely tried to throw a breaking ball past Nomar Mazara, a big strong rookie who has been doing great things for the Texas Rangers. The ball didn’t really break, because the universe does not reward trickery, and Mazara cleansed it:...
Yep, Michigan RB Was Run Over By A Forklift
Michigan running back Drake Johnson was injured under mysterious circumstances last month, with speculation centering around a freak forklift injury, but no one from the program willing to give any details. Now thanks to the Detroit News’ open-records request, we have confirmation: dude got run over...
Joey Votto Has No Time For Your Foolish Japes
Some rapscallion at last night’s Dodgers game threw a paper airplane onto the field. Reds first baseman Joey Votto was not amused by this tomfoolery:...
Kermit Washington Indicted, Arrested For Allegedly Running Charity Fraud Scheme
Former NBA player Kermit Washington—who had a 10-year career primarily with the Lakers and Trail Blazers but is best known for brutally punching Rudy Tomjanovich in the face—was arrested Tuesday night, after being indicted for allegedly running a charity fraud scheme. According to the Department of ...
What Does Brendan Rodgers Really Want Out Of This Celtic Job?
Brendan Rodgers—one of the hottest young names in management just a couple of years ago thanks to his exploits leading a ragtag Liverpool group to the precipice of the Premier League title—selected the next destination on his coaching career this past Friday. At Celtic. In Scotland. Not exactly foll...
This Water Bottle Flip Is The Best Damn Thing I've Seen In A Long Long Time
Might want to put down a tarp now, because your shit is going to fly everywhere after you watch this:...
Miguel Cabrera Was Very Impressed With The Pitch That Struck Him Out
Miguel Cabrera is on quite the run right now, but Jeremy Hellickson got him to take a rip at a strike three that fell harmlessly in the dirt far from Cabrera’s flailing bat. He is a fun dude who knows when to give respect when he gets owned, so he flashed Hellickson a cool thumbs up almost before Ca...
Soon Humans Will Rent Patches Of Land In A Public San Francisco Park
This detail would even feel heavy-handed in a novel about a dystopian future ruled by the libertarian tech elite, but here you go: in San Francisco’s Dolores Park, people will be able to reserve chunks of the park as part of a two-month pilot program by the Recreation and Parks Department. You can m...
Ichiro Still Rules
Ichiro Suzuki should be making us sad. He’s 42 years old, a wisp of the player he used to be, and currently in year two of the Joe Montana-in-Kansas City phase of his career. An old-ass former star playing out his final days for a no-account team like the Marlins, in a stadium as garish as it is con...
That Was A Good Bartolo Colon Game
Bartolo Colon, who turns 43 years old today, threw an excellent outing last night, going seven innings and allowing one run on five hits in the Mets’ 7-1 win over Washington. But that is not why we are here. We are here for the comedy....