hi Page 1156 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hey, That Poisonous "Zamboni" Wasn't A Zamboni®, I Guess
A "Zamboni" machine that smooths out hockey ice poisoned a bunch of people last weekend. We wrote about it, and the Zamboni® people emailed to say that they didn't poison anyone (that we know of). Here's the email:...
NBA Shit List: The Philadelphia 76ers, Who Are Capitalism's Diarrhea
Something confounding is happening in Philadelphia. The meanest, vilest, prosthetic-leg-stealingest fanbase in American sports has gone soft for its garbage basketball team, apparently because management promised them a present if they'll all just behave and eat their garbage basketball each nig...
Media Falls In Love With Jay Cutler All Over Again
Despite having his quarterback gig snatched by Jimmy Clausen, Jay Cutler still had a presser today, and he handled it like a normal human being. Everyone would love to let you know how mature and nice he was after losing his job. He's smiling! He's joking!...
Report: Some Bears "Confused And Uncomfortable" Over Cutler Benching
Perhaps the saddest part of the imminent end of the NFL regular season is that we have but 10 more days to watch the Bears melt down, before their coach, quarterback, or both, are sent packing to more functional climes. Savor this while it lasts. ...
There Were A Lot Of Buzzer Beaters In the NBA Tonight
Look, the NBA season is too damn long. Even I, an NBA junkie that watches at least 200 games a year, can see that. Too many teams are tanking, too many teams are on energy crippling back-to-backs, and too many teams have injuries to fully showcase 82 games of high-quality basketball. Among the numer...
South Dakota High School Wrestler Names, Ranked
Yesterday we brought you the 2015 Lacrosse All-Name Team, featuring such standouts as Deemer Class, Addington Elliot, and Brickman House....
Minor League Hockey Team Scores Three Goals In The First 36 Seconds
It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad night for Binghamton Senators goalie Andrew Hammond, whose Senators took on the Lehigh Valley Phantoms tonight in AHL action. ...
Report: Michigan Offers Jim Harbaugh $8 Million A Year
Jim Harbaugh seems certain to leave the 49ers at season's end, if only because no one can stand him for more than four years, but everyone expects him to land in another NFL job. Well, here comes ol' mediocre Michigan, looking to blow up the coaching salary curve....
Jay Cutler Has Been Benched For ... Jimmy Clausen? Wait, Really?
Hahahaha, what?...
Did The D-Backs Trade Wade Miley Because He Wouldn't Give Up Gluten?
The Arizona Diamondbacks traded starting pitcher Wade Miley to the Boston Red Sox last week, and based on recent comments made by Miley, he may have been moved in part because of his refusal to adhere to the team's silly dietary restrictions....
Chile Is Obsessed With Alexis Sánchez's Sex Life
New Arsenal star Alexis Sánchez has come into the Premier League and torn shit up. Naturally, his native Chile has been very interested in their local hero's exploits. And while there hasn't been too much to worry about in terms of his playing performance, the country's press has kept a close eye on...
Everybody Do The Andre Iguodala Travel Dance!
Late in last night's game between the Grizzlies and Warriors, Grizzlies point guard Mike Conley dropped in a layup that put his team up 95-88 with three minutes to play. Warriors forward Andre Iguodala thought Conley took one too many steps on the drive, and he used the language of dance to expres...
Head FIFA Investigator Quits To Protest Cover-Up
Michael J. Garcia, the former U.S. Attorney who spent 18 months investigating charges of corruption levied against FIFA only to have his 432-page report locked away and publicly summarized in a 42-page report that Garcia himself deemed to be incomplete and inaccurate, is tired of this bullshit....
I Wish That Panthers-Caps Shootout Were Still Going
The shootout is dumb and bad. It is a sideshow, a skills competition, a way to decide a hockey game that bears only the slightest resemblance to hockey. It is a poor answer to a question no one was asking. And yet, every once in a while, a shootout gets so absurd, so endlessly, deliriously bananas...
Panthers Beat Capitals In Longest Shootout In NHL History
The Panthers beat the Capitals 2-1 tonight, but to get the full two points they had to win the longest shootout in NHL history (The previous longest lasted 15 rounds). Through 19 shots each the shootout was tied 5-5, but on the 20th shot, Alex Ovechkin missed his while Nick Bjugstad made his (17:4...
Fighters Sue The UFC, Alleging Massive Violations Of Federal Law
A group of mixed martial arts fighters held a press conference today to announce that they had filed an antitrust suit against the UFC, alleging that fighters "are paid a fraction of what they would earn in a competitive marketplace." The suit, filed by fighters Nate Quarry, Cung Le, and Jon Fitch...
Brooklyn Nets Pay Tribute To Superfan Who Passed Away
The Brooklyn Nets honored the life of recently deceased superfan Jeffrey Vanchiro—known as Jeffrey Gamblero—tonight with a video tribute, as well as t-shirts that the whole team and many Nets employees wore. Vanchiro passed away Sunday, after suffering serious injuries when he fell out of a second s...
Saints Fan Arrested After Allegedly Shoving Bears Chairman To The Ground
Police arrested Richard Kohnke, a 58-year-old lawyer and New Orleans Saints fan, after he allegedly got into a physical altercation with Bears chairman George McCaskey last night at Soldier Field. If there's one way surefire way to get arrested at a football game, it's by shoving the chairman of the...
2014 Was A Banner Year For Food Spills On Highways
Early this morning, a cargo truck overturned on a Detroit highway, scattering boxes of frozen chicken wings across the asphalt, capping off what has been a remarkable year for highway-spill enthusiasts. Let us now stroll down food-spill memory lane. Watch your footing, it might be slippery....