hi Page 1233 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sir Dickharem, Asshair Moan, And More Anagrammed NHL Names
Do you like anagrams? Are you also immature? You will likely enjoy these anagrammed NHL names....

Obafemi Martins Scores From Absurd Angle, Astounds Goalkeeper
The sole goal in Seattle's 1-0 victory over San Jose was scored by Obafemi Martins, and it was awesome....

Jungle Bird Jumps Nationals Wall, Runs Bases, Gets Sacked By Security
Jungle Bird showed up at tonight's New York-Washington game from Nationals Park, where the activist ran onto the field and successfully ran the bases in the ninth inning before being sacked by security. ...

We Are Uncool
Here's the first of 3 singles we'll be posting this week from my new full-length mix, Another Fine Mess....

It Was All A Dream
We tried a bunch of songs for the finale of Another Fine Mess and nothing worked. I couldn’t get it off my mind for days. It wouldn’t let me alone. I knew once I stopped pressing I’d find the right song and that’s just what happened when I came across “Sunrays” from Yesterday’s New Quintet’s ep, Ell...

Robert Mathis Cites Male Fertility Drug For Failed Drug Test
Today the NFL announced that Colts linebacker Robert Mathis will serve a four-game suspension for violating the league's drug policy. Mathis quickly released a statement, with an explanation we haven't heard before: He was taking a fertility drug to help his wife get pregnant...and it worked....

Wrigley Field Mural Depicts Scene From Comiskey Park
To celebrate Wrigley Field's 100th anniversary, the Cubs painted a bunch of murals on the outer wall of the stadium facing Waveland Avenue. One of the murals, seen above, is said to depict Charles Lindbergh taking in a Cubs game in 1927. The only problem with the picture is that it wasn't taken at W...

College Soccer Coach Charged With Murder Of 12-Year-Old Boy
Oral "Nick" Hillary, the men's soccer coach at Clarkson University in Upstate New York, was arrested yesterday and charged with the 2011 murder of a 12-year-old boy....

Carlos Gomez Googled "Rich-People Conversations" To Talk To Ryan Braun
There are many things about Carlos Gomez that are delightful, and this week's issue of Sports Illustrated contains an anecdote about Gomez that will make you want to be best friends with him....
![Twins Fan Gives Finger To Little Girl Who Won't Throw Back HR Ball [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/tdjuyfo8fhmppfazlgxb.gif)
Twins Fan Gives Finger To Little Girl Who Won't Throw Back HR Ball [Update]
This is from Wednesday's game, a David Ortiz home run that was retrieved by a girl in the first row. When the girl made it clear she had no intentions of tossing the ball back onto the field, the woman in red let the girl know to her face what she thought of that decision....

Beijing Man Sues Yao Ming For Ineffective Fish Oil Pills
A man in China who felt that he was duped into buying useless fish oil pills is taking the pharmacy and Yao Ming to court....

Fuck Chipotle
Everyone's rightfully goofing on Chipotle today for unveiling a line of cups and bags featuring insta-literature from the likes of Toni Morrison and George Saunders. Now, I have no issue with restaurant chains scrawling stuff on their packaging. Cook Out could post entire passages from Leviticus o...

Non-African Wins Race
Good news and bad news, white people. Good news is, for the first time ever, a non-African (ok, he is a New Zealander) won a 5K race over a field of Kenyan runners on Kenyan soil. No literally, it was a dirt track....

High School Coach Now Regrets Letting His Pitcher Throw 194 Pitches
On Tuesday, Dylan Fosnacht of Rochester (Wash.) high went 14+ innings, striking out 17 batters and finishing the afternoon with a pitch count of 194. In a year where a disturbing numbers of MLB's best young arms are going in for ligament replacement surgery, Fosnacht's undeniable accomplishment is b...

Lil B Lines Make The Best High School Yearbook Quotes
We all know the feeling: It's the end of your high school career, the four most formative years of your young life, and you want to pick that perfect quote to embody the wisdom you've gleaned on your journey. That so many of our young people are choosing Lil B-inspired quotes bodes well for our coun...

Steve Kerr Turns Down The Knicks Because They're The Knicks
After choosing the Warriors over the Knicks, Steve Kerr went out of his way to insist that his decision had everything to do with family:...

Kawhi Leonard, Who Is The Future, Ran The Blazers Off The Floor
If you didn't catch any of the Spurs' series-clinching win over the Blazers last night—yet another perfectly orchestrated, Spursian blowout—the only highlight you really need to watch is the one above....

Fried Chicken Sandwich Smackdown: Wendy's Vs. KFC
Fried chicken is the best. The main reason I had to stop reading about death row inmates' last meals is that every single thing about this sentence so far is ghastly; I was also secondarily appalled by how many of them forgot to request fried chicken. I understand that if they were good decision-mak...

The Prettiest MLB Box Scores You Can Find Online Are Now Updated Live
You might remember Statlas's baseball graphics from the end of last season, which aimed to provide a more contextual, visually-appealing update to traditional MLB box scores....
