hi Page 1234 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
15-Year-Old Russian Twins Busted For Doping Because Russia
Famous for its dash cams and terrifying lo-fi drugs, Russia now adds a new blemish to its resume: doping up its youth....
California's Endless Drought Cruelly Menaces Innocent Sushi Prices
Well, you finally did it, humans. You finally fucked up the ecosystem enough to imperil something that matters. No, not the millions of innocent human beings whose access to potable water is threatened by what appears more and more to be the end of rain- and snowfall in California. No. The sush...
Umpire Ejects Braves Fan For Profanely Heckling Bryce Harper
The audio’s probably NSFW if you’re blaring it at your office, but familiar if you’ve ever been stuck sitting near your ballpark’s resident leather-lunged asshole....
This Is What Happens When A WR Screen Falls Apart
Hardin Valley (Tenn.) called a WR screen, but the blocking receiver didn't block. That's how you get South-Doyle (Tenn.) player and Tennessee commit Jocquez Bruce ruining a Hardin Valley player's Friday night....
The Eagles Know How To Use Darren Sproles
LeSean McCoy had a perfectly fine game against the Colts, pulling off a few jukes in open space that left jockstraps all over Lucas Oil Stadium, but the best Eagles running back last night was Darren Sproles. He made everyone wonder why the Saints let him go for a fifth-rounder....
Arkansas State Player Pretends To Die On Fake Punt, For Some Reason
This happened during Saturday's game between Arkansas State and Miami. I know nothing else about why it happened or who is responsible for it happening, but I feel it's better that way. Let's not worry about details, and instead just enjoy this GIF, courtesy of our friends at Vice Sports....
Jacob DeGrom Ks Eight To Open Game, Tying Modern-Era Record
It hasn't been a great season for the Mets, who will miss the playoffs for the eighth consecutive season, but one of the bright spots has been pitcher/ Rookie of the Year candidate Jacob deGrom. His campaign got a serious boost tonight, when deGrom struck out the first eight batters he faced before...
Papelboned: Dong Grab Earns Phillies Closer Seven-Game Ban
MLB announced tonight that Jonathan Papelbon will be suspended seven games for grabbing his penis toward booing Phillies fans, which is a sentence I consider it a privilege to have been able to write....
Adrian Peterson Accused Of Beating Another Son, Leaving Facial Scar
Adrian Peterson has already been indicted on charges he beat one of his children, and a new report from KHOU alleges that he beat another. KHOU reports the mother of a different four-year-old son of Peterson's filed a report with Child Protective Services because of a beating the Vikings running bac...
Patriots Coach Bill Belichick Tongues His Girlfriend
Patriots head coach/dementor Bill Belichick kissed his girlfriend before yesterday's game against the Vikings, according to Bill Belichick's girlfriend's Instagram....
GM Makes Absurd Claims About Why Adrian Peterson Is Back With Vikings
Vikings GM Rick Spielman was trotted out in front of the media today to explain why the Minnesota Vikings decided to reinstate Adrian Peterson despite the fact that he has been indicted on child injury charges in a case where none of the facts are in dispute....
N.Y. Governor's Race Now About Who Roots For Which Crappy AFC East Team
New York state politics are the objective worst in the nation (tied for last with every other state). Example: this ad, paid for by the Erie County Democratic Party, which aired in the Buffalo area last week and blasted gubernatorial candidate Rob Astorino for being...a Dolphins fan....
Adrian Peterson: "I Caused An Injury That I Never Intended"
Vikings running back Adrian Peterson has released a statement regarding his recent indictment on child injury charges. As apologies go, it is not entirely convincing....
Chris Sale Does Not Have Bones In His Body, Defies Physics
Chicago White Sox ace Chris Sale is, on a per-inning basis, currently pitching more or less the way Sandy Koufax did in his prime. (His park- and league-adjusted ERA-plus of 195 is actually a little better than Koufax's best-ever mark, though yes of course Koufax pitched a hell of a lot more innings...
Jay Cutler Looks Better When There Aren't Big Plays To Screw Up
During the second quarter of Bears-Niners last night, Cris Collinsworth was amazed by how tight the San Francisco secondary was playing Alshon Jeffery and the rest of the Chicago receivers. There was no room for simple in-routes or comebacks, let alone enough to goose an offense that was scoreless f...
Washington Players Break It Down In Background Of ESPN's RG3 Reports
Washington players, presumably in a good mood after yesterday's 41-10 win over the Jaguars, walked into the background of two of ESPN Skins reporter John Keim's spots, dancing and having a grand time....
Now You Can Buy LeSean McCoy's 20-Cent Tip Receipt For All The Money
This is probably the stupid ending that the LeSean McCoy 20-Cent Tip Saga deserves. The infamous receipt has been put up for auction on eBay by a friend of the burger joint's owner, and people are bidding way, way too much money on it. The current bid stands at over $3,000....
Ryan Kerrigan's Sack Celebration Was A Tribute To Shawn Michaels
Ryan Kerrigan leads the NFL with four sacks, which is impressive because he didn't have any last week. (Playing the Jaguars is good for the soul and for the stats; Washington racked up 10 sacks of poor Chad Henne.) On his first and fourth of the afternoon, Kerrigan went into a squatting, flexing c...
Report: Robert Griffin III Won't Need Surgery
Washington reportedly got some good news this morning on Robert Griffin III, who left yesterday's game on a cart after an ugly looking ankle injury. According to Mike Jones of the Washington Post, preliminary MRI results show no further damage beyond a dislocation....
Watch Rory McIlroy Drain 55 Straight Putts
This is some damn impressive footage of Rory McIlroy warming up before yesterday's final round of the Tour Championship, nailing 55 puts in a row from 10 feet out. Can't practice too much when $10 million is on the line....