hi Page 1244 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Steve Ballmer Practiced Being Owner With His Son's High School Team
The Seattle Times has a piece out today detailing incoming Clippers owner Steve Ballmer's foray into the shady world of high school prep sports and the wealthy parents living vicariously through their kids. Ballmer's son's basketball team at Lakeside School in Seattle sucked, and he wanted to make i...

Police Find War Machine Holed Up In A California Hotel Room
On Monday, Christy Mack made a statement alleging in brutal detail that MMA fighter War Machine (Jonathan Koppenhaver) violently beat her and a friend. On Friday, police in Simi Valley, California, along with U.S. Marshals, apprehended War Machine in an Extended Stay hotel. ...

Guy Loses Fantasy League, Has To Make Embarrassing Photo Calendar
This is a pretty great way to punish the person who comes in last in your fantasy league. Instead of merely living with shame in the abstract, make it tangible (and practical!) with a calendar full of embarrassing photoshops, like naked Prince Fielder....

We're All Doomed, But Burger King's Chicken Fries Are Back!
Shit week, huh? But chin up! The weekend's almost here, the cops haven't gotten around to killing every single last one of us yet, and Burger King has brought back Chicken Fries....
![I Spent All Day Trying To Figure Out If This Is Don Zimmer's Dick [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ehld1aode0he3r6afxtu.jpg)
I Spent All Day Trying To Figure Out If This Is Don Zimmer's Dick [NSFW]
Reader David passed along some old photos from the 1955 Brooklyn Dodgers' locker room. In his email, he claimed that Don Zimmer's dick was fully visible. We decided to dig deeper into this Dodgers dick. Our findings: It's almost certainly not Zimmer's, though the mystery wang does belong to a base...

Let It Be Demolished: Paul McCartney Shuts Down Candlestick Park
Paul McCartney is like the Grand Canyon, or bangers and mash: There's no sexing him up. At 72, he's the rare individual for whom the phrase "living legend" feels like kind of a slight. Bigger than Jesus? Quite possibly. But how many records did Jesus ever sell, and what has he done for you lately? T...

Steeplechaser Loses Gold Medal For Taking Off His Shirt During Race
France's Mahiedine Mekhissi-Benabbad was running in the 3,000-meter steeplechase at the European Athletics Championships, clear ahead of the field, when he took off his shirt in the final stretch to celebrate. That topless jubilation cost him his gold medal....

Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Kansas City Chiefs
Some people are fans of the Kansas City Chiefs. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Kansas City Chiefs. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Steve Smith Details Exactly How He'd Bully You At Lunch
Steve Smith has long been one of the best interviews in the NFL, and his move to the Baltimore Ravens doesn't seem to have done much to change that fact....

Gerry Austin, What Are You Doing?
This is Gerry Austin, ESPN's version of Mike Pereira, quickly leaving the booth at the end of the Bears-Jaguars game tonight. This is also Gerry Austin quickly re-entering the booth moments later. We don't know what he's doing tiptoeing around like a cartoon villain, but it's preseason for the refer...

Sammy Watkins Is Out Here Embarrassing Dudes
The Sammy Watkins low-res highlight reel keeps on picking up clips. This latest one is from Steelers beat writer Mark Kaboly, taken during a joint practice with the Bills this afternoon. Watkins completely turns around Steelers cornerback Lew Toller and just blows past him. It's the ankle-breaking c...

Minor League Baseball Interview Videobombed By Running Knockout Punch
Here we have Tim Hagerty, a broadcaster for the Triple-A El Paso Chihuahuas, and Chris Smith, a pitcher for those same Chihuahuas doing a standard get-to-know-you interview. You know, how do you like El Paso so far? and Love the community, love the fans and OH MY GOD IS THAT GUY OK?...

Javelin Thrower Impales 75-Meter Sign; Judges Struggle To Remove It
This throw at the European Athletics Championships by Sweden's Kim Amb would be impressive if the point of javelin throwing was accuracy instead of distance. (Also, if Amb had intentionally aimed at the marker.) Amb didn't, though, so no points for him....

Chip Kelly Is Basically The Eagles' Life Coach
We've figured out by now that Eagles head coach Chip Kelly is a guy who likes to let his work speak for him, but in Seth Wickersham's feature, for which Kelly declined to talk, we get details of how far Kelly's influence seeps into his players' minds....

Why Your Team Sucks 2014: San Diego Chargers
Some people are fans of the San Diego Chargers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the San Diego Chargers. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

White Sox Boned By Catcher-Blocking-The-Plate Rule, Ventura Loses It
It feels like we haven't had a manager freak out and start kicking dirt all over home plate in ages. We can at least thank the unnavigable abyss of Rule 7.13 for that. ...

Georgia Football Player Joins A Book Club With Some Very Nice Ladies
Here's a cute story get you through the shit tsunami that's been the last few days. Georgia receiver Malcolm Mitchell is a literature fiend who's joined a book club in Athens with a bunch of welcoming women....

<em>Fox & Friends</em> Host Has Annoying Question For Mo'ne Davis
Mo'ne Davis, the 13-year-old girl who led her baseball team to the Little League World Series by being awesome and striking fools out, was a guest on this morning's episode of Fox & Friends. Naturally, co-host Eric Bolling seized on the opportunity to be annoying....

Borussia Dortmund Player Scores Goal, Dons Spider-Man Mask
Borussia Dortmund beat Bayern Munich 2-0 in the DFL Supercup today, thanks in large part to a spectacular header from Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang in the 61st minute. After he scored, Aubameyang yanked a Spider-Man mask out of his sock and put it on his head because, sure, why the hell not?...

Thirsty-Ass Browns Rookie Gets His Thirst Quenched With Dick Pics
Here's a story about a Browns rookie, a reader's lovely wife, and the thirst. Use this as a teaching moment....