hi Page 1438 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tom Brady's New House Literally Has A Moat
Above, Tom Brady's new $20 million California home, which, besides being sunken into what looks like an un-traversable valley, also has a moat—literally, a moat. You can't really see it from the above angle because the massive house is blocking our view, but here's another view, where you can the m...
![Rejoice: The New Mascot In The Washington Nationals' Presidents Race Is William Taft, Our Fattest And Sleepiest President [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18cp6zbk5fvosjpg.jpg)
Rejoice: The New Mascot In The Washington Nationals' Presidents Race Is William Taft, Our Fattest And Sleepiest President [Update]
At a fan fest today, the Nationals will announce the addition of a new American president to their much-beloved mascot race, which already saw a shake-up late in the Nationals' season when Teddy Roosevelt won for the first time ever. Crowd-pleasers that the Nationals are, they understood that fans ...

Villanova Upsets Third-Ranked Syracuse Because Syracuse Was Stupid
A Ryan Arcidiacono three-pointer with seconds remaining in regulation forced overtime in Philadelphia, an opportunity of which the Villanova Wildcats took advantage in shocking Syracuse with a 75-71 victory....

Alleged High School Hockey Team Sex Tape Leads To No Consequences, One <em>Jersey Shore</em> Reference
Last Saturday, Minneapolis/St. Paul's City Pages reported that Maple Grove high school, in a suburb of Minneapolis, had suspended much of its hockey team and its head coach for reasons that have gone undisclosed in the intervening week. A source told City Pages the rumor that Maple Grove hockey pla...

Redskins OL Trent Williams Will Miss The Pro Bowl Because A Nightclub Patron Tasered Him And Cracked A Bottle On His Head
Yesterday, the Vikings announced that Matt Kalil would be taking over for Redskins offensive lineman Trent Williams in this Sunday's Pro Bowl. The Vikings couldn't supply any details and, as the Pro Bowl is an especially inessential exhibition, some speculated that Williams was merely resting from i...

This Fan Getting Hugtackled By LeBron James After Hitting A Half-Court Hook Shot Is The Greatest Thing Ever
During tonight's Pistons-Heat game, one lucky fan got the opportunity to shoot a half-court hook shot for $75,000. By some miracle, the shot went in, and nobody found themselves more excited about that fact than LeBron James, who rushed onto the court and leaped onto our cargo-shorted hero in a di...

Jerome Lane's Backboard-Smashing Dunk Was 25 Years Ago Today
Like any other 12-year-old in Western Pennsylvania whose favorite television program was any game involving any teams from The Old Big East, I was captivated by Pitt basketball in 1988. But the biggest memory—and biggest regret—I have of Jerome Lane’s dunk is that I missed watching it live....

Someone Actually Gave Adrian Peterson An Orange Peanut
In case you missed it last week, Bad Lip Reading put together a pretty funny video dubbing over some NFL players. One of the highlights was Adrian Peterson—full of childlike wonder—asking Pam Oliver for an orange peanut. You can check out that moment here....
![<em>Washington Post</em> Drags Victim's Mother To His Grave To Remind Us That Nobody Is Paying Attention To The Ray Lewis Murder Case [Update: The <i>Buffalo News</i> Too!]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18cm3rrxpzoi8jpg.jpg)
<em>Washington Post</em> Drags Victim's Mother To His Grave To Remind Us That Nobody Is Paying Attention To The Ray Lewis Murder Case [Update: The <i>Buffalo News</i> Too!]
"Here he is right here," Priscilla says with a smile....

Fred Smoot, Who Double-Donged Two Hookers, Peed His Pants After Being Arrested For DUI
Fred Smoot, the former Redskins and Vikings cornerback, would like to be known as something other than "that guy who put a double-ended dildo into two prostitutes on the Vikings sex boat." He tried breaking the news that Robert Griffin III's shredded knee would keep him out an entire year, but that ...

All Football Players Are Suckers: An NFL No-Namer On His Catfishy Moment
One day during the NFL offseason, I got a text message....

A History Lesson For Sacramento: How Kansas City Lost The Kings
The owners insisted they had no plans to move the team. That's what the Maloofs swore, raising their right hand as their left hand worked deals with buyers first from Anaheim, then Virginia Beach, then Seattle. And that's what the owners of the Kansas City Kings maintained 30 years ago, even as they...

JaVale McGee Throws Himself An Alley-Oop, Dons A Celebratory Fingerstache
JaVale McGee continues to be a delight. A normal basketball player, after fooling Omer Asik with a savvy pump fake, would have finished this play with a simple step-through move and a gentle layup. But JaVale McGee is not a normal basketball player, and so the fact that he decided to throw himself...

Delmon Young Can Earn $600,000 In Bonus Money By Not Being A Fat Mess
On Tuesday, the Philadelphia Phillies signed Delmon Young, noted anti-semite and worst player to ever win the ALCS MVP, to a one-year, $750,000 contract. Today, we learned that Young's contract has one very peculiar stipulation. From the AP:...

Four Washington Redskins Nearly Got Catfished
In December, around the same Manti Te'o was supposedly learning he had been the victim of a hoax, the Redskins director of player development Phillip Daniels was uncovering a mystery of his own. Who was Sidney Ackerman, aka @RedRidnH00d, the beautiful woman who had been communicating online with fou...

Nine High School Wrestlers Arrested For Hazing Incident Involving "Digital Penetration"
Sahuarita High School, outside of Tucson, Ariz., is down most of its wrestling team. Nine wrestlers have been charged with kidnapping and aggravated assault in connection with an apparent hazing incident last week, which they unwisely pulled off in a full locker room with plenty of witnesses....

Can Anyone Think Of Another Reason Sloane Stephens Is Considered Serena Williams's "Protégé"?
This evening, Serena Williams plays 19-year-old American phenom Sloane Stephens in the quarterfinals of the Australian Open. The two played for the first time just three weeks ago in Brisbane, when No. 3 Williams cruised past No. 25 Stephens, 6-4, 6-3. But tonight's match has something of a differen...

Bradford City Beats Aston Villa, Is First Fourth-Division Team To Reach League Cup Final Since 1962
League Two side Bradford City cruised to a 3-1 win in its home match of the League Cup semifinal tie against Aston Villa two weeks ago, but most observers expected the Claret and Blue to put up, at the very least, a 2-0 win in today's Villa Park rematch to advance to the League Cup final. After al...

Rich Golfer Phil Mickelson Is Going To Take "Drastic" Action To Escape His Imaginary Tax Burden
This past weekend, wealthy golfer Phil Mickelson took some time during a press conference to express his displeasure with the current federal and state tax codes. Like Gerard Depardieu, Mickelson finds the burden of being a multi-multimillionaire in a confiscatory socialist political system too muc...

"Find The Asshole, That's Where That Knuckle Goes": A Young Jim Harbaugh On How To Play Quarterback
The two-minute video clip above is taken from a much longer video, in which Jim Harbaugh imparts his wisdom of the quarterback position on an assembly of quarterback coaches. The entire video is over an hour long, but we've cut it down to the most entertaining portion for the sake of your amusemen...