hi Page 1533 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Peter Bourjos Has Our First Inside-The-Park Homer Of The Season
The world record for fastest run around the bases is held by Evar Swanson, who did it in 13.3 seconds back in 1929. Peter Bourjos of the Angels came within a second of that tonight, and he thought he might've flied out to the warning track. Instead, Josh Willingham took a tumble and Bourjos came ...

Flyers Defenseman Says He Hid His Concussion To Keep His Job
Marc-Andre Bourdon played in the minors for more than three years before finally making his debut with the Philadelphia Flyers last November, when the 22-year-old defenseman was finally called-up. At the time, reports the Philadelphia Daily News, Bourdon says he "was told to pack enough clothes for ...
![Ronaldo's Free Kick Goal Was So Good GOLTV's Ray Hudson Could Only Describe It Using Sexual Terminology [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Ronaldo's Free Kick Goal Was So Good GOLTV's Ray Hudson Could Only Describe It Using Sexual Terminology [UPDATE]
We've written here before about how spectacular La Liga goals can bring GOLTV analyst Ray Hudson to orgasm, but today's free kick goal by Cristiano Ronaldo against Atlético de Madrid earned Hudson's description of an orgasm....

3 Things To Watch For On The First Night Of The Stanley Cup Playoffs, Which Is Tonight, I Think
We're pretty sure the National Hockey League playoffs begin tonight. They excite lots of folks, so they might excite you too....

Tony Romo Spawned
The Cowboys quarterback and wifey Candice Crawford Romo had a kid Monday, with Romo perhaps hoping to capture the family-man success of NFC East foe Eli Manning. Little Hawkins Crawford Romo has his mother's eyes and his father's penchant for choking on small objects like playoff wins. [Dallas Morni...

Jerry Sandusky Is Using His Charity's Insurance To Pay For His Defense
That's according to USA Today, which estimated the cost of Sandusky's legal bills to be $200,000—so far. The newspaper talked to Sandusky's attorney, Lawyerin' Joe Amendola, in the days before a judge issued a gag order to silence all that lawyerin'. Here's Lawyerin' Joe giving us a glimpse of Sandu...

Soccer Player Takes Photo With Adorable Child—And <i>Playboy</i> Magazine He Just Bought
Panamanian defender Felipe Baloy plays for Mexican side Santos Laguna, and when approached by a charming little tyke decked out in full Warriors uniform, he happily knelt and posed for a photo. So did Ms. Jackeline Arroyo, cover model for the March issue of Playboy's Mexican edition....

Why Yes, This Human-Chicken-Squid Hybrid Is A Cubs Fan
Ronnie Tomaszewski was skipping yet another of his classes at North Park University when he remembered it was Thursday already and he was a bit short on cash for what was sure to be a big weekend of partying. A few of his fraternity brothers had testified to the easy money of that old college stand...

Science: Sun And Wind Probably Did Not Cause Bobby Petrino's Motorcycle Crash
There are only two people who know what caused Bobby Petrino's cherry red Harley-Davidson Road King to skid off the highway earlier this month: Bobby Petrino and Jessica Dorrell. In the police report, Dorrell told officers "she did not know what caused this accident." Petrino's statement indicated t...

Stephon Marbury Is Getting A Statue In China
Stephon Marbury, the biggest import to hit China since opium, may or may not be elevated to Beijing City God soon. After leading the Beijing Ducks to the CBA championship, but not being eligible for an MVP award, fans wanted some way to honor their hero. They've found it: a massive bronze statue of ...

Barack Obama Has Lost His Shooting Touch
The White House held its annual Easter Egg Roll today, the day after Easter for some reason. And because the First Lady's pet project is getting our nation's fatty-fat-fat children up and moving, the whole thing had a basketball theme....

Carmelo Anthony And The Promise Of Hero Ball
It's April, and Carmelo Anthony owns New York again. How could he not, after Anthony scored 43 points, including threes for the equalizer in regulation and the winner in overtime, and the Knicks absolutely stole a game from a possible playoff opponent in the Bulls? The love-in has begun, and the n...

A Man Named Bubba Is Masters Champion Thanks To This Phenomenal Shot From The Parking Lot
Bubba Watson overcame a missed clutch putt to come back in the second hole of his playoff with Louis Oosthuizen by launching a perfect recovery from well off Augusta National's 10th fairway onto the green. On a day that featured two holes-in-one and a double eagle, it'll be the shot golf fans rem...

The New Season Has Its First Walkoff Homer, And It Capped Off A Classic Red Sox Meltdown
The promise of a new season hasn't shown much inspiration for the Boston Red Sox, as the disappointment at how last season ended has been reflected in their first three games of 2012: all of them losses, and two of them in walkoffs....

Tim Tebow's Sermon On The Hill
If there were any doubt about Tim Tebow's portrayal in the press as the living embodiment of Jesus Christ, this write up of a question and answer session Tebow gave this afternoon is the final nail in palm. Maybe it's deliberately tongue in cheek, but forgive me if I have my doubts....

Louis Oosthuizen Hit The Fourth Albatross In Masters History At The Most Opportune Time
Louis Oosthuizen continued his run at becoming the third South African to win Masters with this amazing double-eagle on the second hole. It was the fourth overall albatross at the tournament, the first since Jeff Maggert's in 1994, and the first-ever on Augusta National's #2. [CBS]...

Bo Van Pelt Tied The Masters Sunday Round Record Of 64 Thanks To This Hole-In-One
Bo Van Pelt came from nowhere in posting a 64 in today's round at Augusta, tying the best-ever score on a Sunday at the Masters and falling a stroke shy of the all-time single-round record. He did it with the help of this ace on the 16th. ...

Boston College Is Your NCAA Hockey Champion, Though This Fan Passed Out Before The Game Was Over
Boston College dispatched Ferris State 4-1 to win tonight's NCAA Division I hockey championship in Tampa, and we wish the Eagles and their fans a hearty congratulations on their third title in five years. We don't know whether to congratulate or be concerned for this fan, though, who appears to h...
![Kanye West Claims He Could Have Jay-Z Drop Kris Humphries From The Nets In New Song "Theraflu" [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Kanye West Claims He Could Have Jay-Z Drop Kris Humphries From The Nets In New Song "Theraflu" [NSFW]
So here's something you may or may not know. Kanye West released a new song on Wednesday called "Theraflu." In the song, Kanye drops the following lyric: "And I'll admit, I fell in love with Kim / ‘Round the same time she had fell in love wit' him/ Well that's cool, baby girl, do ya thing / Lucky ...

Nolan Ryan And Robin Ventura Exchanged Pleasantries Yesterday
For the first time since participating in the glorified noogie seen 'round the world, Nolan Ryan and newly-minted White Sox manager Robin Ventura met up with each other prior to the Rangers home opener against Chicago. Ryan, the face of the Rangers franchise, and Ventura have somehow never crossed ...