hi Page 1593 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"I'm About Winning": Coach K Wasn't Included In Duke's Auto-Tune Song, So We Made One For Him
Mike Krzyzewski did not partake in DJ Steve Porter's Auto-Tuned "Duke Worldwide" music video, so we went into the Deadspin recording studio (it's called GarageBand and it's probably on your Mac) and mixed one ourselves....

Homemade Infographic: Is The World Series Famous Enough For Dirk Nowitzki?
Maybe Major League Baseball is preventing Dirk Nozitzki from throwing out the first pitch for the Texas Rangers for some reason other than as a courtesy to NBA owners, an intersport extension of the basketball lockout. Maybe it really is that as they weighed "what makes sense for the team and a good...

Remembering The Best Punt Return That Never Officially Happened
Bears wide receiver/returner Devin Hester—as Drew explained Monday—is the human highlight reel that opponents have to kick to. He gave us a splendid return on Sunday night. But perhaps his best play of the season came on a play when he never touched the ball, on a play that never happened, as far ...

Memphis Could Sue The NBA If It Doesn't Get Its Shit Together
In America, if you're not getting what you need quickly enough, there is always a simple back-up plan available: go to court, tie everything up in paperwork and bureaucracy, and end up with a settlement. It's almost one of our golden rules. And so it's almost a surprise that, with lockouts straining...

As If A Competitive Waterskiing Wipeout Wasn't Enough, The Guy's From Ohio State
So collegiate waterskiing is apparently a thing. Nationals were this weekend, and OSU's Kyle Dammeyer went down hard and soggy. If you missed this video in Hot Clicks, don't miss it here, and turn up the sound; the announcer is gold....

John Beck Gets To Be The Next Redskins Starting QB To Screw Everything Up
According to Dan Steinberg, Mike Shanahan's decision to make a change for Sunday's game at the Panthers makes Beck the 13th different starter in Dan Snyder's tenure as owner. To which Steinberg added: "Name them all, and then punch yourself in the face." [D.C. Sports Bog]...

Homemade Hockey Pads Offer Little Protection, It Turns Out
For a German TV show, the two hosts planned to strap on their homemade armor and face the wrath of a full-ice body check at intermission of a Eisbären Berlin game. After seeing what happened to the first test subject, the second host decided that one was enough....

Progress! Rick Reilly Is Now Ripping Off Writers Who Are Not Rick Reilly
"The Heart Of Football Beats In Aliquippa," by S.L. Price, Sports Illustrated, Jan. 31, 2011. "Aliquippa's Silver Lining," by Rick Reilly, ESPN.com, Oct. 17, 2011....

Devin Hester Was "Basically Attacked" With A Sucker Slap At A Casino Last Week
You know who would probably be a bad person to slap in the back of the head in public? An NFL player. Specifically, an NFL player who is considered one of the fastest men in the sport and who can probably chase you down even if you're speeding away in a Rascal....

Mr. Congeniality Bill Belichick Has Some Thoughts On The Postgame Coach Handshake
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Bill says it's all the media's fault....

A Brief Dialogue Between Reporter And Athlete That Exposes The Fundamental Hypocrisy Of College Sports (Or Not)
This comes via the Seattle/Tacoma Fox affiliate. Keith Price is the quarterback for the Washington Huskies. Steve Kelley is a columnist for the Seattle Times. The exchange takes place in the aftermath of Washington's victory on Saturday over Colorado....

Watch Shonn Greene Run Over The Umpire in Tonight's Jets-Dolphins Game
The game hasn't been the most exciting one but at least there was this....

Bruce Hornsby's Son Has A Rangy Dunk Arsenal
Keith Hornsby, the son of noted piano man Bruce Hornsby, is a freshman guard at UNC-Asheville. This is his dunk from their sparsely attended Midnight Madness. Those are some ups, indeed. Hornsby men. That's just the way it is....

Even The Dolphins' Owner Wants To Suck For Luck
The campaign to see no-hope NFL franchises tank the season to better position themselves to draft Stanford's Andrew Luck is not just for fans anymore. The owners of teams that still have more than half of their seasons to finish are getting in on the act, too. Last week, owner Jim Irsay dropped a n...

A List Of Places Where Brett Favre Is Also Not Going, Yet
There is a special moment in the news cycle during which outlets report on things that are not happening, but that maybe could happen, but that also could not not happen because it would be so interesting if they did happen. Do you follow?...

Someone Drew A Dong On Chris Cooley's Finger Cast
Cooley's dong has long been a friend of Deadspin, and we're glad that the Redskins TE finally embraced his inner donginess, even if it took a broken index finger to do it. He's out up to six weeks....

Jay Cutler Has A Message For Mike Martz: "Fuck Him!"
The Bears' quarterback apparently wasn't too happy with something involving Martz, the team's offensive coordinator, at some point during last night's game. At least that's what the "Tell Mike..." part of what Cutler can be heard shouting near the end of this clip seems to indicate. I'm presenting...

Jon Lester Says They Probably Only "Ordered Chicken From Popeyes Like Once A Month"
Lester tells the Boston Globe (though not Bob Hohler, who wrote this) that starting pitchers on their off-days were the only ones drinking during Red Sox games. "There's a perception out there that we were up there getting hammered and that wasn't the case... Most of the times it was one beer, a bee...

Someone's Selling A John Lackey Signed Ball Stained With Chicken Grease
EBay, of course:...

Ozzie Guillen Will Appear On <em>Baseball Tonight</em> Throughout The World Series
It dawns on me that we could play a game with two tentpoles of recent Chicago White Sox squads. We'll call the game "Guillen OR Pierzynski." Said the White Sox drink rally beer during games to get themselves going? (Pierzynski.) Went on a profane tirade after the White Sox lost to Bruce fucking Chen...