hi Page 1599 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Phil Simms Invites Himself To The Telestrator Dong Party
Wrote tipster Tom B., "Phil Simms drew a cock and balls shooting a small load during the Packers game!" However, like-minded tipster Andrew H. presented it without comment. Potato. Potato....
Watch Calvin Johnson Make An Incredible Catch During The Lions Comeback Win Over Dallas
Detroit Lions QB Matthew Stafford didn't have any open receivers. That doesn't matter when you can throw an alley-oop in triple-covered Calvin Johnson's direction....
Let's Watch Ronnie Brown Try To Throw A Pass When He's Stopped On A Goal-Line Rush
The Philadelphia Eagles had a third-and-goal from the 1/3-yard line against San Francisco in the first half of their game today. Ronnie Brown tried to rush up the middle to extend the Eagles's seven-point lead. Ronnie Brown got stopped cold. So Ronnie Brown tried to throw a pass to no one in parti...
Júlio Baptista's Overhead-Kick Goal In Injury Time Was A Thing Of Beauty
Malaga moved atop La Liga standings yesterday with a 3-2 victory over Getafe. The winning goal came in penalty time. Big deal for the whole side and for Júlio Baptista, the Brazilian who has played for Real Madrid, Arsenal and Roma....
Stanford Overcomes 99-Point Deficit To Beat UCLA By 26
Your morning roundup for Oct. 2, the day we mull parole eligibility for cannibal ladies. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Your NLDS Games 1 Open Thread
Milwaukee hosts Arizona, first pitch scheduled for 2:07 p.m. eastern. Then, the Cardinals try to beat Roy Halladay and the Phillies starting at 5:07 p.m....
Listen To The Longest Soccer Goal Call Without A Pause Ever
Your morning roundup for Oct. 1, the day the nanny state says you're no longer allowed to legally fornicate with animals in Florida. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
"We Were Packed In Like Sardines": Two Former Customers Review Detroit's Booty Bus
Soon after we learned about the Booty Lounge, the mobile strip club that's been idling near Detroit's Ford Field during every Lions tailgate for the past decade or so, we heard from a few former patrons. And after finding the priceless Yelp review from a former scorned freelancer for the club that y...
Roy Halladay Came Here To Bury, Not Praise The Cardinals
Crossing Broad brings us this tale of how Roy Halladay gives a menacing, literate answer to a reporter's silly softball:...
Terry Francona Out As Manager Of Red Sox, Who Promised "No Scapegoats," To Be Replaced By (INSERT HIGH-PROFILE MANAGER HERE)
You already know the story of the Red Sox's epic collapse—an eight-and-a-half-game wild card lead, blown to bits, that 99.6 percent chance of making the playoffs, turned to zero. Now, according to pretty much every national baseball writer (Fox Sports' Ken Rosenthal had it first last night), the Red...
JV Football Coach Suspended For Making Players Lie On Graves To Learn About Persistence And Rebirth
"The sources said [coach Jim] Marsh, also an English teacher at the high school, ordered the team bus to pull over near the cemetery. He then asked the roughly two dozen players to get out and lay on the graves. The players rested there for several minutes while Marsh preached about the importance ...
This 6-Foot-4, 320-Pound NFL Player Drives A Hello Kitty Convertible Smart Car
Chargers DT Antonio Garay was just fined $15,000 by the NFL for a hit below the knee on Tom Brady in Week 2, but he will be laughing all the way to the bank, because he drives a tiny car with a Hello Kitty on it and tweets pictures of it all the time. So, ha!...
The Fan Who Threw A Banana At A Black Hockey Player Did Not Know It Would Be Seen As Racist
From the AP: "The lawyer for a man accused of throwing a banana at a black NHL player says his client deeply regrets what he did and had no idea his actions could be seen as racist."...
Important Question Of The Night, Answered: Dan Johnson Did Not Go Deep To Some Dude's Nuts
This was Dan Johnson's game-tying shot in the ninth against the Yankees, which was briefly the night's most "holy shit" moment and which seemed all the more legendary for having caromed off some guy's balls. Verdict: no nut shot....
Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update And T-Shirt Sales Pitch
Last Friday was not a good day for the Knox City Greyhounds. In fact, per superfan Chad McGhee, "it went bad." Like 54-8 bad. "Nightmare on Elm Street" bad. "I pray to the Lord that this team regroups and gets their heads out of their asses hopefully" bad....
A Belarusian Goalie Participated In A Lionel Messi Trick-Shot Goal Today
It took just six seconds for Alyaksandr Pyotravich Hutar, goalkeeper extraordinaire for FC Bate Borisov, to look at his gloves after Lionel Messi scored the first of his two goals in UEFA Champions League play today. Because it was their fault, the whole perfectly bouncing the ball in front to ser...
Belligerent Galloping Lady Demonstrates The Funniest Way To Use A Treadmill
We can't decide whether or not the belligerent gallop-jog is funnier on loop, as you'll see above, or as a single belligerent gallop-jog, which can be seen here. But this woman definitely eats elliptical girls for breakfast. Our only regret is that the tipster, Marc, did not capture the moment whe...
So Here's What Really Happened When A Pair Of Philly Football Writers Got Into A Fight Today
The Internet has been buzzing about the brawl that occurred this afternoon between Les Bowen of the Philadelphia Daily News and Jeff McLane of the Philadelphia Inquirer, their respective newspapers' Eagles beat writers. The story first got out because of a tweet sent early this afternoon by Howard E...
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: The End Is The Beginning
It was a frightful beating that gave rise to Deadspin's ongoing search for the meaning of Bartolo Colon—the 38-year-old Yankees starter got knocked out of the first inning against the Blue Jays, surrendering 8 runs (3 earned), an outing so bad it raised questions about the pitcher's very purpose in ...