hi Page 1607 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Roger Goodell Enforces The Laws That Roger Goodell Came Up With Just Now
Jim Tressel followed in the footsteps of his protégé Terrelle Pryor by jumping to the NFL, and he's going to suffer silently on the sidelines along with him. Yesterday the Colts announced Tressel will sit out the first six weeks, a penalty that was self-imposed because the Commissioner's office was ...

Watch Leo Messi Dribble Past Half The Nigerian Team To Set Up This Goal
Argentina beat Nigeria 3-1 today in a friendly in Bangladesh. As usual, Lionel Messi was the engine for Los Albicelestes. He fed Gonzalo Higuain with a beautiful one-touch chip for the first goal. But the real peach was the second goal, created by Messi's blistering midfield run (0:45 in the video...

Tiger's Former Mistress, Rachel Uchitel, Is "Almost Happy" Her Fiance Died On 9/11
"I'm almost happy it ended the way it did because I've learned so many lessons from him. It would have been tragic if we got into fights and then divorced." [New York Post, via Gawker]...

Steve Carlton Really Was A One-Man Team In 1972
Joe Posnanski presents a backhanded defense of the old-fashioned statistic of baseball pitchers' wins today. True, the "winning pitcher" depends on his teammates playing defense and scoring runs for him; yes, great pitchers in bad circumstances can produce feeble win totals, and bad pitchers for gre...

Maryland's Play-Calling Last Night Was Even More Unsightly Than Its Uniforms
Your morning roundup for Sept. 6, the day heroin mills went corporate. Photo courtesy of Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

"You Mad Bro" Sign Kicks Off High School Football Racism Controversy
Time once again to play Ohio or Florida! Time's up, it's Ohio....

Jim Tressel Embarrasses Roger Goodell By Self-Imposing Goodell's Stupid Idea Of Justice
Has there ever been a string of punishments/non-punishments more baffling than Roger Goodell's recent run? Lacking a clear directive but wielding the personal-conduct policy like Zeus's discriminate lightning bolts, no one plays unless the Commish decides he's "ready," and the Commish doesn't have t...

Justin Bieber, Like Everyone Else, Is Capable Of Beating Steve Nash Off The Dribble
A few days ago, Justin Bieber shared a video with the world that alleges to show Justin Bieber crossing up Steve Nash. We understand that this is pointless, because Nash regularly allows non-teen pop stars to cross him up (and it doesn't even seem to be recent, as Nash wasn't a part of Ludacris's ...

Ron Artest Has Never Looked More Graceful
Your morning roundup for Sept. 5, the day Arizona (against all odds) got a little bit worse. Photo of Artest at rehearsal via @LakerNation. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Florida A&M Basketball Player Fatally Stabbed, Apparently By Her Girlfriend
Shannon Washington, an All-American transfer who was expected to play point guard for the Florida A&M University women's basketball team this season, died early today after being stabbed in the neck during an argument in her Tallahassee apartment. A 20-year-old woman visiting her was arrested and c...

There Was A Guy With A Sock In His Mouth At The U.S. Open This Afternoon
Tipster James M. writes in that, "It's pretty weird! I have people offering $5.62 for this pic but I'm an avid Deadspin reader and I want you guys to break the story so I'm willing to go as low as $3.27."...

Some Phillies Fans Went To Miami And Interfered With The Marlins Right Fielder
This whole thing happened in the sixth inning of today's Phillies/Marlins game. Hunter Pence of the Phillies hit one to the right-field wall. It may or may not have hit that yellow stripe. We'll never know....

Usain Bolt Held Back, But Still Made Really Fast People Look Really Slow Again Today
Usain Bolt, that freakishly fast Jamaican guy, ran the fourth fastest 200-meter race in human history at the World Athletic Championships in Daegu, South Korea today. He clocked 19.40 seconds. Only two people have ever run faster. One is named Michael Johnson. The other is named Usain Bolt....

Here's The Memorable Part Of Auburn's Otherwise Forgettable Fourth Quarter Against Utah State Today
The first game in Auburn's Post-Cam Newton Era (also known as the Barrett Trotter Era, according to the game announcers) did not go as expected—unless you expected Auburn to require a last-minute comeback to avoid a 10-point loss to unranked Utah State. Here's the onside kick and the ensuing drive...

Watch An All-Male Dance Troupe Take The Field At Halftime Of The Saints/Titans Game
When it came to the Saints getting throttled by the Titans in the final preseason game of the year the other night, here's what one guy wrote:...

This Year, You'll Be Able To Get Fresh Ink At Islanders Games
"The Islanders have struck up a partnership with Tattoo Lou's and will be inserting a new shop owned by them into the arena. [Blue Line Station] (H/T Brian B. and Hockey News)...

Fox Sports Apologizes To "The Entire USC Community" For Segment That Singled Out USC's Asian Students
Yesterday, Fox Sports aired a segment that featured Bob Oschack giving USC students a "good, old-fashioned All-American welcome" to Colorado and Utah, the newest members of the Pac-1012. The gimmick: Oshack only interviewed Asian USC students—because in the world of misguided network television humo...

Your College Football Early Games Open Thread
It's the first big college-football Saturday of the season. Yay. No. 18 Ohio State, which lost its The in a haze of Tresselmanic scandal, plays Akron at noon (ESPN). Also at noon on the WWL, No. 23 Auburn hosts Utah State (2) and Northwestern visits Boston College (U)....

Wonder If This TCU Fan Still Wanted Some Loving After His Team Blew A Gigantic Comeback
Your morning roundup for Sept. 3, the day that Dragon Con's Comic Book Babes Costume Contest becomes an Elvira-hosted reality in Atlanta. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Evening: Ronnie Woo Woo Pays His Cable Bill
Your p.m. roundup for Sept. 2, the day we discovered pizza on the moon. H/T to Ben for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....