hi Page 1608 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We're Sick Of Joe Theismann All Over Again
It's difficult not to pity Redskins fans, who, in addition to being Redskins fans, have to hear Joe Theismann talk about preseason football during preseason television broadcasts. And last night, just after Brandon Banks ended an otherwise splendid punt return by flipping the ball out of his hand ...

The Italian Basketball Team Will Run Circles And Circles And Circles And Circles Around Everyone At EuroBasket
This clipboard belongs to Simone Pianigiani, the head coach of the Italian national basketball team, and we're told that it almost always resembles a toddler's masterpiece (and, yes, possibly an unintentional dong as well)....

Today In Shameless Corporate Behavior: The Redskins Hawk Obsolete Donovan McNabb Souvenir Cups
First, Dan Snyder sold Redskins fans the old peanuts he got from a bankrupt airline, as Dave McKenna mentions in "The Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder." (You have just experienced "We Are All Dave McKenna CCX.") Now Snyder is charging fans at FedExField $6 for Donovan McNabb soda cups. Oh, ...

Whoever Broke Into Chris Cooley's Art Gallery Did Not Care Much For The Art
Local police in Leesburg, Va. are searching for the suspect that broke into Chris Cooley's art gallery on South King Street early Friday morning. Thankfully, no art or pottery was stolen in the burglary. More importantly, though, Chris Cooley owns an art gallery....

11-Year-Old Does Not Get $50,000 For Impossible Shot Hockey Shot, But Gets Next Best Thing: Nothing
We once again check in with Nick and Nate Smith, the young twins who won a raffle to take a shot from center ice for $50,000. Nick's name was drawn; Nate took the shot. Almost immediately it became clear that the insurance company didn't want to pay out, and today it's official....

Matt Cassel's Burden Is Heavier Than Anyone Imagined
Your morning roundup for Sept. 2, the day after we didn't have any change to toss into Bruce Springsteen's guitar case. Photo courtesy @IndianPacker, via @Sportsfeeder1. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Presenting A Great Point From Novak Djokovic's U.S. Open Match Against Some Guy Tonight
At the end of this crowd-rousing point tonight at Arthur Ashe Stadium, No. 1 seed Novak Djokovic was four games away from a triple-bagel win (6-0, 6-0, 6-0) over Carlos Berlocq. Novak would drop the next game — earning Berlocq some crowd adulation — and another before closing his foe out, but he a...

Look At This Fucking Hoopster: Libyan Rebel Edition
This young man is Chris Jeon. He is a 21-year-old UCLA math major and he recently decided to take a vacation to the Libyan revolution. He brought a throwback Jerry West jersey with him....

Turns Out Ohio State Is Not Done Suspending Its Players For Minor Infractions
According to Doug Lesmerises of the Cleveland Plain Dealer, tOSU will make running back Jordan Hall, corner Travis Howard, and safety Corey Brown sit out its first game against Akron. You guessed it: "impermissible benefits of $300 or less at a charity event earlier this year." [@PDBuckeyes]...

Gael Monfils Took The Tennis Trick Shot To A New Level Today
Monfils and Juan Carlos Ferrero are currently deadlocked in the second round at the U.S. Open. Ferrero took the first set, 7-6 (5), Monfils took the second at 7-5, and Ferrero is up 6-5 in the third. Monfils, though, got the psychological (and bullshit) advantage with this trick shot early on....

Now Comes The District Of Columbia To Protest The Dumbassness Of Dan Snyder's Dumbass Libel Suit
It was always going to come to this. After being abused by Dan Snyder for over a decade, DC is finally fighting back. The city's Attorney General this week intervened in Snyder's increasingly desperate case against the Washington City Paper, arguing, more or less, that the wee Redskins owner is a ti...

Bruce Feldman On Leaving ESPN: "In The Last Six Weeks, I've Seen What They're Capable Of" (UPDATED)
After 17 years at ESPN, where he was one of the first hires for the WWL's website once upon a time, college football writer Bruce Feldman announced today that he was leaving for a gig at CBSSports.com. He also made an appearance this morning on Dan Patrick's radio show and spoke freely about what w...

On The First Play In School History, Tennessee High School Goes All The Way
Summit High School in Spring Hill, Tenn., just came into existence this year. Built to serve a growing school-age population, Summit only has freshmen and sophomores, for a total enrollment of about 500. But like any school, they wanted a football team. So they threw one together as fast as they c...

Ronaldinho Ignores Teammates And Physics, Scores On A Corner Kick
In Brazil, they call a goal scored directly off of a corner kick an "Olimpico." And here at Deadspin, we call 31-year-old strikers who have scored nine goals in 10 games and are getting a second chance at the national team a "Ronaldinhos."...

The Remarkable Things This Guy Does With A Soccer Ball Include Spinning It On A Pen While Climbing A Lamp Post
This guy Iya Traore's really good at manipulating a soccer ball with his feet and various other body parts. Shame a Whitney Houston ballad's playing in the background, though. Bobby, I could see, but not Whitney. There's no justification for that....

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
As you probably already know, the Knox City Greyhounds lost their season opener to Crowell 47-36....

Derek Jeter Was Kind Of A Computer Geek (And Other Things We Learned From His High School Yearbooks)
Derek Jeter attended Kalamazoo Central High School in the early nineties, where he was a two-sport athlete, a "royal couple" in the Winterfest Court, and a computer lab tutor (we can only surmise that it was still safe for the star jock to be a computer geek because nobody really knew what computers...

High School Football Team Penalized For Excessive Celebration In Tribute To Dead Friend
Well, here's a sad story with no redeeming value to it! In Louisville, Ohio last Friday, the local high school football team came from behind to score a go-ahead touchdown with just over a minute remaining. This is the good part....

Michael Vick's $100 Million Contract Is A Lie
Everything you need to know about the NFL and its courtier press can be summed up in a single sentence: Michael Vick's much-heralded "$100 million deal" is not a $100 million deal, and the widely reported "$40 million guaranteed" is in fact neither $40 million nor completely guaranteed. ...

Terrelle Pryor's Wonderlic Score Was Reportedly A 7 (UPDATE: Pryor Says 22)
The Raiders are praying that Terrelle Pryor's football IQ is higher than his actual IQ. According to Bob McGinn, the Packers beat writer for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, Pryor scored a whopping 7 on his Wonderlic Test. (UPDATE: See below.)...