hi Page 1616 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Shane Victorino Could Have At Least Tried To Help The Kid Up
Your morning roundup for Aug. 5, the day after Pete Carroll ceded all responsibility for the Seahawks. Video of Victorino's indifference to the the bat boy falling is here. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Pee Wee Herman Spent Some Time With Tony Romo Today At Cowboys Camp
Per the Dallas Morning News, "Pee-Wee Herman was at Cowboys' practice Thursday night in a gray suit with a red bowtie. He took some time to pose for a photo with Jerry Jones and his sons, Stephen and Jerry Jr. No word on if coach Jason Garrett will hang it up at Valley Ranch as another motivational...

This Week In Unintentional-Dong Picture Submissions
Like images of Jesus on pancakes, toast and frying pans, reflections of the Virgin Mary in windows, or a Leprechaun sighting in an Alabama tree, dongs are all around us....

Josh Gatt, 19-Year-Old American Soccer Player, Is Spending His Summer Break Shattering Ankles
Josh Gatt is a 19-year-old from Michigan. He graduated from high school last year and turned down a scholarship at Indiana to sign with Austrian club SC Rheindorf Altach in summer 2010. In January of this year, he joined Molde, a top-division squad in Norway. Today his first-place squad beat Start...

The Winless, Scoreless Wonders Of Margatania FC
We're internet users too. We know setting aside ten minutes to watch something requires extraordinary circumstances, but these are about as extraordinary as they come. Please find the time, whether it be right now or later on, to watch "L'equip Petit," a short film about an under-7 team from a sma...

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part VI: Robot Surrogates And The Abyss
Consider this your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this mother until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is frozen in amber so humans of the future can study the behavior of assholes in the 21st century. (For tho...

Tony La Russa's Tortured, Petulant Justification For Plunking Ryan Braun, As Read By A 4-Year-Old Boy
You can watch Tony La Russa try and fail to justify himself — he cycles through logical fallacies as if they were middle relievers in a 5-4 ballgame against the Reds — or you can watch young Mack Scocca-Ho capture the essence of La Russa's monologue in the video above....

Rob Dibble Now Wants To Swaddle Stephen Strasburg In Warm Soft Blankets
A year ago at this time Rob Dibble was in the news for his contrarian opinions on Stephen Strasburg. Rob Dibble's in the news again for his contrarian opinions on Stephen Strasburg. Except this time it's the exact opposite contrarian opinion. What we're saying is, it's a good thing Strasburg's caree...

Of The Four Goals Chivas Scored Against Barcelona Tonight, This One's The Best
This was Marco Fabian's second goal for Chivas de Guadalajara in its friendly vs. FC Barcelona tonight. In the end, it was the game winner, but Chivas would score another pair for good measure....

Novak Djokovic Performed A Goofy "Little Serbian Dance" With Jay Leno And Katie Holmes Last Night
This video of world No. 1 tennis player Novak Djokovic's appearance on Jay Leno's still-breathing program last night is nine minutes and 15 seconds long. Do yourself a favor: Skip the first seven minutes, to when he starts talking about the celebration that commenced among his team of fellow trave...

Chinese Italian Soccer Fans As Bad As Italian Soccer Fans
This, via Dirty Tackle, is what happens when an AC Milan fan accidentally wanders into an Inter Milan fan section. It doesn't matter that this is Beijing and not Milan — wearing red and black is a de-kitable offense....

Braylon Edwards May Have Started The Nightclub Brawl He Allegedly Wasn't Involved In
We told you yesterday about free agent wide receiver Braylon Edwards' most recent legal trouble—according to My Fox Detroit, Edwards was on the periphery of a brawl that broke out at a nightclub in Birmingham, Michigan....

A Minor League Team Was Two Feet From Disaster
As the old saying ought to go, nothing good comes from taking a wrong turn to Staten Island....

The Orlando Magic Youth Basketball Camp Is Too Small To Hold All Of Stan Van Gundy's Swag
We know that Kevin Durant can ball, and it's a tribute to his ability that he's still able to astound us with a performance like his 66-point game at Rucker on Monday night. We would not immediately predict, however, that Stan Van Gundy has real handle. Only handles....

11-Year-Old Is The Best Broadcaster The Mets Have Ever Had
Young Jacob Resnick got to call Jose Reyes' first-pitch home run last night (and stick around for the eventual Mets meltdown). He won an essay contest and an audition, and we see why he won. He's genuinely excited by the game he's calling, a trait all-too-often absent in our current crop of commenta...

The Preventable Annual Tradition Of High School Football Deaths
It's that time of year again: when America's high schoolers start dropping dead during football practice. It's become so regular and so common that we can't do anything but shake our heads and move on, as if this is an acceptable rite of passage for youth football as a whole. But these are actual ki...

Ichiro's Doppelganger Tried To Sabotage The Mariners Last Night
Have we not yet learned our lesson, America? Is Bartman's ultimate cautionary tale still not enough? Let the players make their plays. Even if you happen to look eerily similar to one of them....

Dan Snyder Is Now Campaigning Against The Rights Of D.C. Residents To Govern Themselves
Dan Snyder's lawyers yesterday filed a brief in D.C. Superior Court as part of Snyder's dumbass legal jihad against the Washington City Paper. Snyder's lawsuit looks for all the world like a "strategic lawsuit against public participation." Even the ACLU thinks so. Such "SLAPP" suits are deployed by...

Miami Cries Out For A Neckbearded Savior
Lo, the echoing green of Sun Life Stadium. A scrimmage, Dolphin against Dolphin, for the hearts and minds of the Dolphin faithful. And who should presume to represent the faithful, their unshattered, unshaken loyalty, their loyal teal? A leader; a general; a man....

Rucker Park Was Too Small To Hold All Of Kevin Durant's Swag
Basketball! Because of the lockout, doesn't it seem like it's been an extra-long time since we've seen meaningful games, even though it'd still be the middle of the offseason in a normal year? I don't know that the glorified exhibitions at Rucker Park count as "meaningful," but last night's firewo...