hi Page 1634 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Curtis Granderson And The Orioles's Mascot Shared A Moment This Afternoon
It's impossible to determine exactly what Yankees centerfielder Curtis Granderson and the Oriole Bird were discussing during pregame calisthenics....

Fox Sports Canceled The Show That Made Fun Of USC's Asian Students
Fox Sports announced yesterday that it has permanently canceled the show "The College Experiment," which last week aired a poorly-received experiment at USC. We won't miss you, Bob Oschack! [AP]...

Nyjer Morgan Is Trying His Damnedest To Engage Albert Pujols In A Middle School Fight
Just about a month ago, we heard from the local broadcast crews as they reacted to the last Brewers-Cardinals skirmish (they were predictably biased). Last night, the two teams clashed again, and loveable kite enthusiast Nyjer Morgan was—predictably—at the center of it all....

Well-Meaning Nats Fan Breaks Out The "HE'S BACK KKK" Jersey For Stephen Strasburg's Return
I get it. We're all very excited about Strasburg's return from Tommy John surgery, and he did what he could by making one of them a backwards K. But, he couldn't have added an extra K? Or eliminated the space between them and "back?" Or, even better, not had the jersey made in the first place? [DC S...

If You've Ever Wanted To See Derrick Rose Play With A Taiwanese Hand Puppet, Today's Your Lucky Day
If you have trouble understanding what Derrick Rose of the locked-out Chicago Bulls is talking about at this stop on his Adidas promotional tour, subtitles are provided....

Today In Great Headlines
Arkansas weatherman Brett Cummins found in hot tub with naked dead man wearing 'dog collar': police [New York Daily News] (H/T Steve P.)...

PNC Park's Acoustics Are So Good That You Can Hear A Home Run Hit The Empty Bleachers
In tonight's epic showdown between the Houston Astros and Pittsburgh Pirates, Carlos Lee hit a two-run dinger in the top of the first. What tipster Trey A. pointed out was that "I've never heard a HR hit the outfield bleachers before. But yet again, I've never watched a Pirates game."...

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
Saddled with an opening week loss that was blamed on referees and/or improper footwear, the Knox City Greyhounds needed something big to happen....

So <em>This</em> Is Why Black People Don't Play Fantasy Football
As we've seen with our "Life Lessons" segment, some people take sports way too seriously. But none as serious as fantasy football players. Each week, we'll feature some of the whiniest, bitchiest, nastiest, most sociopathic emails from this group of very special people so you can point and laugh at ...

Pat White Now Joins A Storied History Of Mid-2000s West Virginia Football Failures
There's something that's a little dispiriting about what's happened to the 2005 West Virginia Mountaineers. Back then, they went 11-1, winning the Big East and the Sugar Bowl. Rich Rodriguez was their offensive whiz head coach, and Steve Slaton and Pat White made up the fastest backfield in college ...

"God Made NASCAR," According To Pro-American Internet Commenters
Welcome to another installment of the Fox Nation commenter essays. Please prepare yourself for lots of caps lock....

Phillies OF John Mayberry, Jr. Has Requested That His Agents Set Him Up With The Sexy Mermaid From <i>Pirates Of The Caribbean</i>
John Mayberry, Jr. is a man who knows what he wants. One cannot, after all, become the Phillies' best pinch-hitter without knowing what he wants. But Mayberry is still missing something. Evidently, that something is the Sexy Mermaid from Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides....

We've Given Maryland Football's Dramatic "Pride" Video An Earthquake Panic Remix
Before the season opener against Miami on Monday night, the Terps aired a promotional "Maryland Pride" video to fire up the home crowd and to display the Under Armour logo as many times as possible. The original included the Ravens' Torrey Smith—but not the part where he bolted for safer ground wh...

Missouri Western Footballers Save Baby's Life, Doom Baby To Life Of Missouri Western Fandom
With 17-month-old Liam Snook accidentally locked inside a hot car, vomiting and starting to pass out, it fell on two Missouri Western State D-backs who were just passing by to rescue the kid. They broke the window, got him out, and gave the family tickets to a game. Parents, please heed this warni...

Roger Goodell Enforces The Laws That Roger Goodell Came Up With Just Now
Jim Tressel followed in the footsteps of his protégé Terrelle Pryor by jumping to the NFL, and he's going to suffer silently on the sidelines along with him. Yesterday the Colts announced Tressel will sit out the first six weeks, a penalty that was self-imposed because the Commissioner's office was ...

Watch Leo Messi Dribble Past Half The Nigerian Team To Set Up This Goal
Argentina beat Nigeria 3-1 today in a friendly in Bangladesh. As usual, Lionel Messi was the engine for Los Albicelestes. He fed Gonzalo Higuain with a beautiful one-touch chip for the first goal. But the real peach was the second goal, created by Messi's blistering midfield run (0:45 in the video...

Tiger's Former Mistress, Rachel Uchitel, Is "Almost Happy" Her Fiance Died On 9/11
"I'm almost happy it ended the way it did because I've learned so many lessons from him. It would have been tragic if we got into fights and then divorced." [New York Post, via Gawker]...

Steve Carlton Really Was A One-Man Team In 1972
Joe Posnanski presents a backhanded defense of the old-fashioned statistic of baseball pitchers' wins today. True, the "winning pitcher" depends on his teammates playing defense and scoring runs for him; yes, great pitchers in bad circumstances can produce feeble win totals, and bad pitchers for gre...

Maryland's Play-Calling Last Night Was Even More Unsightly Than Its Uniforms
Your morning roundup for Sept. 6, the day heroin mills went corporate. Photo courtesy of Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

"You Mad Bro" Sign Kicks Off High School Football Racism Controversy
Time once again to play Ohio or Florida! Time's up, it's Ohio....