hi Page 1643 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Manscaping And A Mankini Helped MMA Reach Its Aesthetic Nadir At UFC 133
No one watches UFC—what with its bloody noses, sweaty chests, cauliflower ears—for beauty's sake. No one would confuse Dana White with Donna Karan. But holy lord, things got ugly in one of the undercard fights last night....
Here's Video Of A Smooth Assist In A German Soccer Match
Borussia Dortmund faced Hamburg to start their respective Bundesliga seasons yesterday, which you probably already knew. The former won the match 3-1, the highlight of which was Robert Lewandowski's assist on Mario Götze's give-and-go goal in the 29th minute....
Minor League Baseball Rain-Delay Dancing Fool Proves Tommy John Surgery Defeats Zombies
Tipster Andrew B. points out that Casey Mulligan, mere mortal of rain-delay Thriller 2009 performance fame, recently decided "to hang up the cleats at age 23 after deciding not to undergo Tommy John surgery. He was living the dream as a catcher turned pitcher with an actual shot to make it to the ...
Fox Has Some Odd Advice For What Cole Hamels Should Do On The Pitchers Mound Today
In all likelihood, Kenny Albert probably wishes his broadcast-booth script just said, "Throw a curve" instead of the "drop a deuce" line he just uttered on air....
Furries May Have Unwittingly Announced That Next Year's NHL Draft Will Be Held In Pittsburgh
Here's the title of a post from The Hockey News this morning: "Rescheduling of 'Furry' convention in Pittsburgh points to Penguins hosting 2012 NHL Draft." Oh really? Go on:...
Radio Guy Apologizes For Calling Giants Pitcher An "Illegal Alien"
When the Phillies and Giants sorta-brawled last night, radio guy Tony Bruno (on right in photo) sent out this Tweet: "gutless #!@%*! Giants. Bochy is a coward for having his illegal alien pitcher hit a guy since mighty Frisco boys ..." and quickly deleted it. But nothing's quickly deleted. ...
The Phillies And Giants Engaged In One Of Those Brawls That Really Aren't Brawls But Look Good On TV Anyway
Your morning roundup for Aug. 6, the day our Chinese overlords recommended we seek treatment for our mooching-trillions addiction. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Soccer Fans In Portland Still Behaving Curiously Like Soccer Fans In Any City Outside The United States
The Portland Timbers—seventh in the MLS's Western Conference and 7-10-4 overall—defeated the league-leading L.A. Galaxy 3-0 on Wednesday night. In spite of their hangovers, the Timbers Army was in fine form for the upset. Someone trained a camera on the heart of the crew just before Jorge Perlaza ...
Jay Cutler And Kristin Cavallari Are Returning The Wedding Gifts You Sent Them, With Dainty Notes In Some Cases
Previously, we brought you the story of some Deadspin readers who bought gifts for Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari off their wedding registry. Then we told you that the Bears QB dumped Cavallari. Here comes the fallout, courtesy of Crate & Barrel....
What Jock Culture Does To Pukes Like You
The following piece originally ran in The Nation's sports issue, on newsstands now....
<em>Welcome Back, JaMarcus</em>: Russell Will Return To LSU In The Fall To Take Some Classes
LSU Sports Information Director Michael Bonnette tweeted yesterday that former Oakland Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell would be returning to Baton Rouge to take classes in the fall. In his honor, we've cut you the opening credits of Welcome Back, JaMarcus....
Shane Victorino Could Have At Least Tried To Help The Kid Up
Your morning roundup for Aug. 5, the day after Pete Carroll ceded all responsibility for the Seahawks. Video of Victorino's indifference to the the bat boy falling is here. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Pee Wee Herman Spent Some Time With Tony Romo Today At Cowboys Camp
Per the Dallas Morning News, "Pee-Wee Herman was at Cowboys' practice Thursday night in a gray suit with a red bowtie. He took some time to pose for a photo with Jerry Jones and his sons, Stephen and Jerry Jr. No word on if coach Jason Garrett will hang it up at Valley Ranch as another motivational...
This Week In Unintentional-Dong Picture Submissions
Like images of Jesus on pancakes, toast and frying pans, reflections of the Virgin Mary in windows, or a Leprechaun sighting in an Alabama tree, dongs are all around us....
Josh Gatt, 19-Year-Old American Soccer Player, Is Spending His Summer Break Shattering Ankles
Josh Gatt is a 19-year-old from Michigan. He graduated from high school last year and turned down a scholarship at Indiana to sign with Austrian club SC Rheindorf Altach in summer 2010. In January of this year, he joined Molde, a top-division squad in Norway. Today his first-place squad beat Start...
The Winless, Scoreless Wonders Of Margatania FC
We're internet users too. We know setting aside ten minutes to watch something requires extraordinary circumstances, but these are about as extraordinary as they come. Please find the time, whether it be right now or later on, to watch "L'equip Petit," a short film about an under-7 team from a sma...
Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part VI: Robot Surrogates And The Abyss
Consider this your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this mother until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is frozen in amber so humans of the future can study the behavior of assholes in the 21st century. (For tho...
Tony La Russa's Tortured, Petulant Justification For Plunking Ryan Braun, As Read By A 4-Year-Old Boy
You can watch Tony La Russa try and fail to justify himself — he cycles through logical fallacies as if they were middle relievers in a 5-4 ballgame against the Reds — or you can watch young Mack Scocca-Ho capture the essence of La Russa's monologue in the video above....
Rob Dibble Now Wants To Swaddle Stephen Strasburg In Warm Soft Blankets
A year ago at this time Rob Dibble was in the news for his contrarian opinions on Stephen Strasburg. Rob Dibble's in the news again for his contrarian opinions on Stephen Strasburg. Except this time it's the exact opposite contrarian opinion. What we're saying is, it's a good thing Strasburg's caree...
Of The Four Goals Chivas Scored Against Barcelona Tonight, This One's The Best
This was Marco Fabian's second goal for Chivas de Guadalajara in its friendly vs. FC Barcelona tonight. In the end, it was the game winner, but Chivas would score another pair for good measure....