hi Page 1647 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We Heard From The Robot, And It Wrote A Better Story About That Perfect Game
This morning we covered Will Roberts, the University of Virginia player who threw a perfect game yesterday. More specifically, the game story at GWSports.com, which only bothered to mention the little fact of 27-up-27-down in the penultimate paragraph....

Short White Guy Will Dunk On National TV
Jacob Tucker, the 5'11" Division III YouTube sensation, officially received his invite to the College Slam Dunk Contest, to be held tomorrow night in Houston. You did it, you dogged internet voters. You made a young man's dream come true. (Not Rico Cunningham, the other DIII dunker nominee. You st...

Roberto Clemente's 3,000th Hit, In Glorious Graphic-Novel Form
The following is excerpted from Santiago's 21: The Story of Roberto Clemente, a gorgeous graphic-novel biography of the martyred baseball great. Clemente got his 3,000th hit on Sept. 30, 1972, three months before he died in a plane crash. You can watch video of No. 3,000 here; Santiago's rendering b...

We Are All Dave McKenna LV (Pencil Dick Piñata Edition)
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets busted up like a Mexican birthday effigy....

Jose Canseco's Latest Tragicomedy Plays Out On Boston Radio
The controversy over Jose Canseco's no-show at one of his silly celebrity boxing matches has reached almost a full week of coverage thanks to the public piss-off between Jose and promoter Damon Feldman. Did Jose knowingly dick over the fight promoter and send his twin brother Ozzie to fight for him...

Four Cans Of Corn Will Get You Two Tickets To A Timberwolves Game
Attention, fans of canned vegetables who will also tolerate watching the Minnesota Timberwolves play a game of basketball: buy four Butter Kernel cans of your choosing for a bargain three dollars (string beans, collard greens, you name it), and you can get two tickets to see the 17-53 Timberwolves i...

College Pitcher Throws Perfect Game, Gets Mentioned In Seventh Paragraph Of Eight-Paragraph Game Story
Will Roberts of UVA threw a perfect game yesterday, only the 19th in D1 history and the first since 2002. But you wouldn't know it if you read the recap from George Washington University, which came out on the losing end of the feat....

VCU Has Now Forced Its Unbearable Victory Song Upon Us
Your morning roundup for March 30, the day Peter Venkman signed on to play FDR....

Coach K, Please Shut Up (Also: Jalen Rose Arrested For DUI)
We do some Duke-hating around these parts. And maybe a hair too much of it, if you ask no one. I mean, hey, Duke lost to VCU in 2007 in the first round, before it was cool....

Your Jim Tressel Signing Things Photoshop Roundup
Maybe the real thing (as above) was funny enough for most of you. But those who thirst for the next level, who live to advance human progress—they sent in some doctored photos of the coach at his own personal signing day....

Science! Picks Your World Series Champion
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The Predictalator is back, this time simulating the 2011 baseball season 50,000 times to fin...

We Are All Dave McKenna LIV (Abandoned Theme Park Edition)
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit takes up residence in Davy Jones' locker....

High School Hockey Championship Ends In An Attempted Triple Ice Murder
This weekend, Keller High School defeated Arlington Martin 9-3 in the Texas State Championship. The game was a blow-out, and it didn't really get interesting until it ended in three separate fights on the ice, one of which resulted in a broken jaw and a grade three concussion....

Out-Of-Date Fantasy Advice From Someone Who Isn't Really Paying Attention
If you take fantasy sports seriously, you read the experts. Disclaimer: I am not an expert, but I will write about fantasy sports anyway. And if you want to win your leagues handily, I can't think of a better advisor than someone who only stays half aware of what's actually happening in sports. So w...

You Can Now Order Your Personalized Bears License Plate
Illinois has unveiled their new Chicago Bears license plates. To steal an idea from Fark, go personalize your own and leave it in the comments. Here's mine!...

We Are All Dave McKenna LIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit has a warder looking down on it in the middle of the night....

Dennis Rommedahl Scores An Absolute Rocket
It may have escaped your attention, what with Wales and England's titanic battle at the Millennium Stadium being so tight and tense, but Norway played Denmark at the weekend and the score finished 1-1. BOOORING!...

The Weeping Kansas Jayhawk, In Happier Times
Your morning roundup for March 28, the day Lindsay became the artist formerly known as Lindsay Lohan....

We Are All Dave McKenna LII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit's lambs stop screaming. Today's topic: Pepper Rodgers, specifically the excerpt about him from McKenna's story. To wit:...

The Third Longest D-1 College Baseball Game Ever Was Played Yesterday And, Presumably, Today
Fresno State beat the U of San Diego in baseball 3-2 last night. It took them 7 hours and 12 minutes to do so, though. At 22 innings played, it's tied for the third longest game in D-1 history. San Diego kept them scoreless through eight, but blew it like a typical 4-16 team....