hi Page 1648 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brandon Jennings Was On Time For This Alley-Oop To Himself
Bucks guard Brandon Jennings did his best Kevin Durant impression in a self-assisted, fast-break alley-oop at Baltimore's Melo Center earlier this week. His timing was impeccable....
Former Phillies Reliever Ricky Bottalico Is Worried About Roy Oswalt's Bulging Dick
Crossing Broad brings us another highlight to add to the already lengthy reel of sports broadcasters talking about bulging dicks....
Michael Jordan Can Still Dunk, Sort Of
At 48 years old, Michael Jordan can still dunk a basketball. That seems merited. Here's the Bobcats owner at the team's fantasy basketball camp yesterday, throwing down (to use the term lightly!) at the request of a camper. Still, as TBJ points out, we've seen worse from Mike — even when he was a ...
ESPN Is Going To Think About Considering Making Sure Nothing Like What Didn't Happen To Bruce Feldman Ever Happens Again
"The recent flap over Bruce Feldman's non—suspension..." wrote ESPN's Poynter-approved ombudsperson, Kelly McBride, and already with that one jargony semi-word, "flap," we were in the Klein bottle of journalism about journalism by journalists for nobody. "To date, this is the most complicated ESPN i...
We're Fairly Confident This Is The Best Lacrosse Save You'll See Today
Or maybe it's not. Maybe you've seen better. Maybe you spend all day trolling for videos of lacrosse saves, and you've got a list of 20-odd lacrosse saves that you think are better than this lacrosse save. In that case, why don't you take your lacrosse saves and open up a website devoted to lacros...
Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part V: Return To River Bend
We already posted your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this mother until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is nailed to a cross while dogs gnaw off its toes. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All...
Here's The Harry Potter-Referencing Legal Brief The ACLU Filed In The Dumbass Dan Snyder Libel Suit
The ACLU filed a brief yesterday in D.C. Superior Court slamming Dan Snyder for his dumbass libel lawsuit against the Washington City Paper and asking the court to toss out the case. D.C. councilmember Mary Cheh joined the brief, along with a raft of influential news organizations such as The Americ...
Minor League Team To Give Away Tweeting Weiner Boxers On Saturday
Except the shorts the American Association's St. Paul Saints will give away are Tweeting Wiener Boxers, and not Tweeting Weiner Boxers, both because it's National Hot Dog Day and because the Saints would rather be cheeky than direct about former congressman Anthony Weiner. Although we know any New Y...
Ricky Rubio Of The Habsburg Empire: Picturing The NBA's Europe Through Geopolitical History
Saturday in Vienna, the remains of Otto von Habsburg — would-be Emperor of Austria, Apostolic King of Hungary, (presumably non-apostolic) King of Bohemia, Dalmatia, Croatia, Slavonia, and Galicia, Lodomeria, and Illyria, and so on, had all those jobs not been downsized when he was two years old — we...
This Bike Is Literally The Fastest Thing On Two Wheels
At a former Air Force base, Bill Warner set a new land speed record, getting his modified Suzuki Hayabusa up to just shy of 312 MPH. If you're feeling insecure about your ride, just note that Warner needed a shove to get going....
Maybe Now The Dodgers Can Officially Add Bankruptcy To The Lineup
Your morning roundup for July 19, the day we learned to stay out of the way when Real Madrid rides around in a golf cart. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
You Can Say "Circumcising Mosquitoes" On <em>PTI</em>, But You Can't Say It Thrice
The gentlemen on Pardon The Interruption exceeded the quota for the amount of times one can say some variation of the phrase "circumcising mosquitoes" on live television today. Cowlishaw, quoting (and imitating) Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, gets in two mentions, but Wilbon never gets his chance. The...
Packers DB Sam Shields Gets Giant, Painful-Looking Super Bowl Ring Tattooed On His Neck
Super Bowl winners receive championship rings—expensive, garish things—but they're tangible. You can hang on to your triumph through karats....
Baseball Game Interrupted By Man In Wedding Dress
Play was stopped at the Nationals-Braves game in Atlanta on Saturday evening so that police officers could take down a streaking fan in a wedding dress. This captivated the crowd and beguiled Davey Johnson....
Chris Kluwe's 'Downfall' Parody Has Hitler Calling Lockout Negotiators "Lazy Shitfucks"
Downfall parodies seem like they're somehow older than the internet by now. But when one is made by an actual NFL player, we're willing to listen. And Vikings punter Chris Kluwe does a pretty good job of capturing what we're all feeling about the lockout these days....
Here's The Alex Morgan Goal That Looked Like It Was Going To Win The World Cup
This game has been stressful to watch. After an uneventful first half, in which the Americans hit every part of the goalposts but couldn't find the back of the net, Alex Morgan finally capitalized on this beautiful goal. Japan tied it up a few minutes later. If you're not watching now — and if you...
According To Nathan Horton's Wife, The Stanley Cup Was Lost In Boston Yesterday
The Stanley Cup itself excites us in ways no other sports trophy does. Some of that comes from its versatility: One can eat and drink from it. Some of that comes from its uniqueness: There's a new Lombardi Trophy every year, but there's only one Cup. And the winning team's players get to take that o...
Turns Out Rachel Uchitel Used To Date Elin Nordegren's New Boyfriend
Aw, the poor girl. She just can't win....
Five North Koreans Tested Positive For Steroids Because They Were Struck By Lightning, Says North Korea
We suspected all along that the DPRK's women's World Cup team would provide us with moments of unintentional comedy, but they've outdone themselves....
On Patrick Kane's Injury
The Blackhawks announced that Kane will undergo surgery to repair a fractured wrist. We were inundated with requests to investigate, because PK is a favorite around these parts....