hi Page 1684 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Letter Chiding Baylor Students For Clogging Plumbing System With Semen Is Too Good To Be True, Alas
According to an anonymous tipster, the residence halls at Baylor were recently clogged with semen, leading to this desperate plea from one residence hall's director. Sadly, it's a fake, as our brief conversation with the hilariously put-upon director confirmed....

When Preseason Games Of Grab-Ass Go Wrong
Last night's Raptors-Suns game featured this delightful sequence in which Reggie Evans fouled Grant Hill, which led to the two engaging in a spirited round of ironic ass-slappery. Both players were ejected. Via Skeets....

The Imperfect Man Pitched A Perfect Game, Lost His Pants
Welcome to Private Stache, an occasional feature in which Andy Gray, keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, spotlights the sports photography of yesteryear, a time when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable....

Here's Someone Else Who Says Robbie Alomar Has HIV
When an ex accused Alomar of knowingly exposing her to HIV, his then-girlfriend defended him. A year later, that girlfriend is now his wife, and she's divorcing him and accusing him of doing the HIV thing again. [NY Post]...

Roy Halladay Throws 2nd No-Hitter In Post-Season History
Eat your words, Jay Feely. Just eat 'em. Halladay baffled the Reds coming within a walk of a perfect game. He joins Don Larsen as the only other pitcher to accomplish this feat....

Your On-Time Reds-Phillies Game One Open Thread
One city thinks they've already won the World Series. The other city is just happy to be here. Discuss the harshing of someone's buzz right here....

Ron Washington Opens Up About Coke, Third Person Use
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington....

This Is A Praying Mantis Bodyslamming A Hummingbird
It's not so easy to flap your wings up to 90 times a second when you're getting smashed into the concrete by two spiked forelegs, is it hummingbird? H/T I Like Cheap Beer...

Last Night's Winner: Mossholes
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like all those "Patriot Way" fetishists in New England, now freed from the tyranny of watching the greatest deep threat the NFL has ever seen....

The Saddest Sports Photograph We've Ever Seen
Oh, poor Smokin' Joe Frazier. You were one of the greatest heavyweights of all time. You don't deserve this....

Danny Woodhead: Not Particularly Small, Just White
Last night, as was to be expected, Jon Gruden and the rest of the Monday Night Football gang talked about fun-sized pigment curio Danny Woodhead with the sort of insight and gravitas one finds on the cover of Bop Magazine....

The Official Jewish Response To The James Shields Conspiracy Theory
A nice lady called a Tampa sports talk radio show and argued that Shields is starting game 2 only because he's Jewish, and the Rays' Jewish ownership made it happen. Shields isn't actually Jewish, but never mind that....

The Cigar Guy Photoshops Have Come To Our Classic Album Covers
The internet cannot get enough of Cigar Guy Photoshops. He's now been Photoshopped photobombing classic rock records. Think of some new ones and add them to the comments below. Don't let an alt-weekly in Dallas outshine you. [Dallas Observer]...

Miami Dolphins Solve Everything
Well, that was fast. The Dolphins fired special teams coach John Bonamego, not 12 hours after their epic meltdown....

Cracking The Case Of The Oscar Winner Who Hooked Up With Matthew Berry's Friend
When we last checked in, Matthew Berry's friend had gotten some strange from a Hollywood actress and it was evidently a big deal—assuming Matthew Berry has friends who look like Matthew Berry. The case was cold, until now....

The 2010 Hater’s Guide To The MLB Playoffs
Time to ring in a new annual tradition around these parts, in which we say horrible, awful things about all the teams involved in the playoffs this year. Let’s do this....

Mike Danton, David Frost, And The Return Of The Unkillable Hockey Svengali
Two days after the St. Louis Blues were ousted from the 2004 playoffs, forward Mike Danton was arrested for conspiring to kill his part-agent-part-mentor-all-menace David Frost. Six years later, both are back into hockey: Danton in college, and Frost incognito....

John Wall Is Good At Basketball, Is Better Showman
When he isn't dancing, John Wall plays some exciting point guard. Here's video of him splitting the defense not once, but twice and finishing with an absurd 360-degree lay up during a recent Wizards scrimmage. [Wizards Extreme; via D.C. Sports Blog]...

Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
Whoa. Whitlock's right: "Put McNabb in against Kolb, and McNabb has a puncher's chance. Maybe he can connect with Moss on a few big plays and get lucky again. I don't see it with Vick on the field."...

Wayne Rooney Is Not An Animal. Wayne Rooney Is A Human Being.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....