hi Page 1691 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Fräulein Soccer Player Treats Other Fräulein Soccer Player In Very Un-Fräulein-Like Way
Taoba Kemmy of FFC Turbine Potsdam is not to be messed with when she's taking a throw-in because she may well throw it at your face. Don't believe it? Just ask FFC Frankfurt's Kerstin Garfrekes. [Unprofessional Foul]...

Don't Forget To Cast Your Deadspin Hall Of Fame Votes
The voting, as it stands: 61% for Athlete Dong, 78% for Salisbury, 50% for Nightmare Ant, 61% for Whitlock, and 91% for Mariotti. Only about 83 hours left to spam yes votes for Nightmare Ant and all the others. Vote now!...

Watch George Plimpton And Billy Martin Awkwardly Pimp Old Video Games
Intellivision came out in 1979 as a competitor to the Atari 2600. Within a few years, Intellivision had its own baseball game with its own celebrity pitchman, forcing Atari to respond in kind. Thus, the George Plimpton-Billy Martin rivalry was born....

The Boring Bag! Your Temporary Fun Bag Replacement
While the Funbag is away, we still play, albeit dully. Time for The Boring Bag!...

Stories That Don't Suck: College Football's Greatest Game And Its Greatest Story
From time to time, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: Dan Jenkins on the 1971 Nebraska-Oklahoma "Game of the Century."...

Melo, D-Wade, Cubes and Nolan Ryan All Sued By Crazy Prisoner
Jonathan Lee Riches, in prison for wire fraud, spends all his time filing lawsuits against public figures. This week sees a new one, involving a number of prominent sports stars, and it is a doozy....

Now <em>Turkey</em> Wants To Take Away Your Right To Check Out Cheerleaders
Fresh off news that dancers at the FIBA world championship had to overdress for USA-Iran, we now get word that their services won't be required during Turkey's games from now on. Man, if I didn't hate Hedo Turkoglu before... [NYT]...

Last Night's Winner: Nyjer Morgan, Crazy Person
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the "volatile"/"mercurial"/"passionate" Nationals outfielder, who appears to have lost his mind in the last two weeks....

The Prettiest, Most Rigorous Examination Of Bobblehead Giveaways You'll See
The great Craig Robinson of Flip Flop Fly Ball has produced the graphic you're looking at, from which you learn, among other things, that the Brewers hate their current roster, and the Marlins are cheap bastards. Click to enlarge. [Flipflopflyin.com]...

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Jason Whitlock
Some people find Jason Whitlock provocative and daring. Some find him a lazy, unhinged boor who pretends sportswriting is some sort of professional wrestling/UFC roleplaying game, with Twitter as his personal version of the octagon. Which are you?...

Finally, A Baseball Fight That Doesn't Disappoint
A night after bowling over the catcher, Nyjer Morgan gets a pitch behind him. Morgan goes after the pitcher, when — BAM! — Gaby Sanchez out of nowhere. This was a good one, folks. [MLB.com]...

Now Iran Wants To Wipe Cheerleaders Off The Face Of The Planet
International competitions teach us a lot about cultural sensitivity. But sometimes the kumbaya stuff goes too far. Like when cheerleaders have to cover up during one of our basketball games, lest an Iranian player pop an infidel boner or something....

Rob Dibble Given The Heave-Ho By MASN
MASN has had it up to here with the misogyny and the foot-in-mouthery from Rob Dibble, firing the analyst today after his super-secret suspension didn't knock the appropriate amount of sense into him. Suck it up, Dibble....

Joakim Noah Plays Golf With Pizzazz
Oh, Joakim Noah. Whether you're buying a pipe to smoke tobacco or hanging at Lollapalooza, your off-the-court activities are wonderful. Let's hear some good captions, people. Photo via Sportress of Blogitude...

Let's All Giggle Immaturely At These Fellows' Names
Headline of the young month: "Butts Arrested In Boob Murder Case."...

Big Ten Divisions To Split Up Michigan And Ohio State; 7th Seal Opened
AIR RAID SIRENS! STORIED BUT INSUFFERABLE PROGRAM NOT GUARANTEED TO FACE EQUALLY STORIED, EQUALLY INSUFFERABLE RIVAL EVERY YEAR! [Washington Post]...

Ricky Rubio Gets Embarrassed By Off-The-Back Inbounds Pass
That's Mantas Kalnietis with the schoolyard move in Lithuania's big upset of Spain at the basketball world championships yesterday. That's okay. If he ever signs with the T-Wolves, they have three other PGs they can use to defend on these plays....

Look At This Fucking Hoopster: "Earl Watson" Shopping For Organic Produce
An occasional feature in which we spotlight the ridiculous trend of recontextualized basketball jerseys. Today: Earl Watson. Earl. Watson....

Last Night's Winner: Manny Ramirez And His Unnecessary Translator
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Manny Ramirez, who in his first presser with the White Sox pretended not to speak English and required the translation services of third base coach Joey Cora....

Dolphins Scour Field For $50,000 Earring
Ten players were on their hands and knees, poring through the grass for a 2.5 carat diamond earring that belongs to DE Kendall Langford. That'll lower his bling rating in the next Madden update. [AP] [UPDATE: Ochocinco weighs in]...