hi Page 1692 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Early Winner For Deserved Maiming Of The Year Award
A high school student is suing his teacher and the city after he nearly electrocuted himself after hooking his nipples up to electrical clamps in shop class. Also, D batteries are not butt plugs. [AP]...
Cut Loose: A Montage Of Movie Dancing
Sure this video starts off as a montage of people opening and closing doors, but by the time it's over, you've seen one of the better tributes to cinematic two-stepping. Enjoy. [Kottke, via Skeets]...
Battered Sideline Reporter Soldiers On, Wears Helmet
Last week, the world laughed at Sky Sports Germany's Jessica Kastrop for getting knocked in the head with an errant soccer ball. So she took the necessary precautions against a repeat performance with the help of a funny looking helmet....
Thai Police Catch Attempted-Murder Suspect, Take Amusing Picture
Prasop Homhuan (pointee)—wanted in connection with one of those Asian karaoke murders—was apprehended after more than a year on the run. The authorities then took a picture clearly showing that they had gotten their man. [Phuket Gazette, via @jeffkoyen]...
<em>Washington Post</em> Editor None Too Happy With Mike Wise's Roethlisberger Stunt
Wise made up some news this morning. Just hours later he bragged about how he can get people to print anything, and how he increased his Twitter followers. His bosses sent out a little note, warning him to cut that shit out....
Columnist Starts Rumor That No One Believes, In Effort To Prove People Will Believe Anything
Mike Wise of the Washington Post "broke" the news that Ben Roethlisberger's suspension would be 5 games. After no one took the bait, he went on the radio to explain how he was just trying to show "anybody will print anything."...
Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Toni Kukoc
Welcome to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater, the frequent feature where we examine fan-made video love letters to athletes and their baffling soundtrack choices. Today's superstar: the Croatian Sensation, Toni Kukoc, set to Michael Jacksons's "Remember The Time."...
The University Of Miami's Jose Canseco Arrives, Shocks No One
Nevin Shapiro—an alleged Ponzi schemer and ex-University of Miami booster—is threatening to publish a tell-all book about the program. It'd be like that movie The Program, but with less James Caan and more fiduciary malfeasance. Or something along those lines....
Weekend Winner: Eastern Washington's Horrid New Field
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the bright red turf at EWU, which will trick you into thinking your eyes are bleeding. Even if they probably are....
Jay Cutler, Chicago's O-Line Have Trust Issues
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Ejected Minor League Manager Swipes, Signs and Gives First Base to a Fan
The State College Spikes played the Batavia Muckdogs last night in some short-season Class A New York Penn League action, as if you didn't already know....
UFC 118: The Wit And Wisdom Of James Toney, MMA's New Big Swinging Freak Show
James Toney may get thumped tonight by Randy Couture at UFC 118, but he's already triumphed in the promotional battle in customary fashion — by sounding like a drunk Clubber Lang practicing the dozens inside a dumpster....
<em>ESPN The Mag</em> Story About Sister-Humping NFL Prospect Will Break Your Heart
Remember Tony Washington? The Abilene Christian lineman who mashed uglies with his sister? He went undrafted in the draft and has yet to be signed as a free agent? Why is a talented o-line prospect getting the cold shoulder from the NFL?...
Horribly Broken Play Somehow Turns Worse
Don't really know anything about where or when this comes from. But we're going to go ahead and assume it's a St. Louis Rams preseason game....
Everybody Needs To Stop Talking About The Cubs' Future For A Few Months
After Lou Piniella announced he was retiring after last Sunday's game—fittingly, it was a blowout—the Chicago and national media started yammering on about who would replace him, and What It All Means For The Cubs. Please make it stop....
Larissa Riquelme's Boobs Now Holding Cellphones Professionally
Everyone's favorite Paraguayan model is shilling for Nokia and is now contractually obligated to put only that company's products between her breasts. That concludes this month's installment of Larissa Riquelme news. [Metro]...
Strasmas Is Canceled
Well, ain't this a kick in the teeth? Sometimes you can do everything right, and have it all go wrong. That's the story of DC, and the story of baseball....
Last Night's Winner: Bryce Harper's Accelerated Destiny
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those poor bastards in Washington. Sure their franchise savior might need Tommy John surgery, but they've got another one stashed away....
Strasburg Done For The Year, Probably 2011 Too
Stephen Strasburg has a torn elbow ligament, and will likely require Tommy John surgery, which usually takes more than a year to heal. Sucks for the Nats' 2011 season ticket sales office....
I've Never Seen Four Effeminate Filipinos So Excited
You think you were thrilled by Miss Philippines making it to the top 15 of the Miss Universe Pageant? Try these four. Sorry ladies, I know you like a guy not afraid to show his emotions, but I don't think they're interested....