hi Page 1741 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Where Not To Go This Vacation Season
SeaWorld has two pregnant Orcas; both carrying the children of Tilikum, who put the killer in Killer Whale....

Halladay's Perfect Game Was No Surprise To One Nostradamus
One Phillies fan predicted this, and counted down each batter — starting before Halladay even took the mound. Can we retire the concept of jinxes yet?...

Which One Of These Geniuses Do You Think Ran Onto Wrigley Field Yesterday?
"Dude" or "Sweet." Take your time. Think it over. Would "Dude," with his tilted hat, be brave enough to do it even though he doesn't appear to be wearing enough sunblock? Or will "Sweet" do the honors?...

In Honor Of Memorial Day, Here's A Photo Of A Marine With Sarah Palin Tattooed On His Ass
That butt belongs to Gunnery Sgt. Benjamin "Gus" Lepping, an explosive ordnance disposal tech serving in Afghanistan. Reasoning: "What could be better than getting a tattoo of the hottest cougar in the Republican Party?" [Battle Rattle]...

Live Chat: With This Guy Sitting On The Toilet
Do you have any questions? It doesn't matter. I'm going to be sitting here with my hand in my pants waiting for you to ask something if you have one. Or we can just "chat."...

Here's Urban Meyer's Daughter Because It's Friday, And Other Things Of Note
It's a three-day weekend so things are going to be a little looser than usual around these parts. Especially today. At 12 p.m. I'll be doing a live chat in the comments section. Bring your questions, your ire, your cookie sheets....

Nationals Fans Upset About Being Forced To Watch Nationals Game
Next Friday's home game at Nationals Park is the hottest ticket in D.C. Unfortunately, it's still just a regular ol' June game against the Reds and not the big league debut of Stephen Strasburg. By the way, no rain checks!...

Mariners Fan Loses Bet, Dignity
Last weekend, the Padres and Mariners faced off at Safeco Field. San Diego took two of three, and one fellow on the wrong end of a bet produced this oddly whisper-filled love letter to the Padres. H/T Theodore Donald Kerabatsos....

Minor League Giveaway Just A Little Bit Racist?
Do you see anything wrong with this Ryan Howard lawn jockey — sorry, "garden gnome" — giveaway? The Reading Phillies don't. But then, maybe we shouldn't expect a Reading Rainbow Coalition from Central Pennsylvania. [Inquirer]...

Big Ben Combines His Love Of Bullies, Commerce
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Is Zach Randolph Indiana's Drug Kingpin?
"According to a probable cause affidavit, a trusted police informant identified Memphis Grizzlie player Zach Randolph as a major marijuana supplier in Indianapolis." Well, that's not so shocking. Oh, you meant supplying to people other than Zach Randolph?...

Some 24-Year-Old Guy Is Getting Mike Brown's Calls
Note to various NBA personnel directors and well-wishers: You know why Mike Brown isn't returning your phone calls? A guy named Rajesh Kumar....

An Interview With Mike Cetera, My Literary Cubs Foil
If you've read Are We Winning?, you know my friend Mike, a Cubs fan who goes to the game with my father and me and worries about his young son becoming a Cubs fan. Well, he still exists....

After Seeing This Promo Pitch, Who Wouldn't Want To Go On A Cruise With Rick Dempsey?
Walkoff Walk discovered this gem of a YouTube video where one cadence-challenged pitchman tries to sell this Rick Dempsey (himself!) luxury cruise. You will. Talk like. This. All day. [WalkoffWalk]...

Here's An Indonesian Toddler Who Smokes 40 Cigs Per Day
Exasperated mum says: "He's totally addicted. If he doesn't get cigarettes, he gets angry and screams and batters his head against the wall. He tells me he feels dizzy and sick." Do they have 3-1-1 in Musi Banyuasin? [TheSun]...

The New Tim Lincecum Cartoon Will Give You A Contact High
Another day, another baffling sports figure TV show appearance. Today we have the inaugural episode of Timmy & Bus, a cartoon that is for children in the way that all unicorn-vehicular-manslaughter cartoons are for children. [Tauntr]...

Mississippi State Recruit Bodyslams Math Teacher Onto Unemployment Line
Click to view Here's video of Jamerson Love, a cornerback for Aberdeen High School, wrestling now-former algebra teacher Shobul Johnson. Allegedly, Johnson asked his students to "black out the windows" and "move the furniture" before commencing to rumble. Then he got his asymptote kicked. [Rivals]...

Hideki Irabu Resurfaces With A DUI
Raise your hand if you knew Irabu was living in Los Angeles, let alone still alive. Well, he's living it up, getting busted on suspicion of drunken driving last week. [KTLA]...

Fat-Ass Baseball Players Get Their Roger Bannister Moment
Per Wezen-Ball's wonderful Tater Trot Tracker, David Ortiz rounded the bases after yesterday's solo shot in 30.59 seconds, a new record by nearly eight-tenths of a second. Yes, mankind has at last shattered the 30-second barrier. [Wezen-Ball]...

Flyers Fan Thinks Live TV Is "F^@*ing Amazing"
Hey, you put a drunk Phillyite on live television, moments after their team wins the Eastern Conference Finals, and you're basically begging for an f-bomb. You simply cannot take hockey fans anywhere. [Crossing Broad]...