hi Page 1741 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chip Caray Lines A Base Hit, Scores A New Job
Don't fret, Braves fans! Recently fired Chip Caray will be your play-by-play man for Fox Sports South this season. Said Joe Simpson, his booth partner-in-crime: "I hope the Braves' fans will be as excited as I am." [AJC/Suss]...
Jemele HIll Apologizes For Her Mouth Again
ESPN columnist and "First Take" talking face, Jemele Hill, suggested that Kentucky fans would be satisfied with Charles Manson as their head coach as long as the team is winning. UK was offended, so, of course, Hill apologized to them....
Mike Tomlin Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Mike Tomlin, who managed to avoid joining the list of all-time bonehead coaches ever in the history of anything. Winning is helpful!...
Arm Wrestling — To The Max!!!
As the runaway success of Chess boxing proved, any sport can be improved by adding ass-kicking to the mix. Imagine arm wrestling, where the rest of your body is free to wail on your opponent. America's got a new pastime....
The Rich Eisen Problem
America is tired. We are, we're told, by the television, on the "wrong track." We are worried about debt. About our children. We worry, I think, most of all, about the NFL Network broadcasting important late-season games....
Redskins Owner Surprisingly Tone Deaf on Issue of Racial Sensitivity
White guy Dan Snyder fired white guy Vinny Cerrato and immediately replaced him with white guy Bruce Allen, so that he can bring in either white guy Mike Shanahan or THIS (white) GUY Jon Gruden. Isn't there some rule...?...
Bears Grounded in Chicago
The Chicago Bears are unable to make it to Baltimore, because of the massive terrible snowstorm that literally everyone in the mid-Atlantic area is being a tremendous baby about....
Overzealous Phillies Fan Gets Her Day In Court
The woman accused of offering sex for World Series tickets had a preliminary hearing, featuring graphic testimony and topless photos. The dog wasn't part of either. We hope....
Green Goblin Only Slightly More Destructive To Bears' Chances Than Jay Cutler
Supervillains will destroy Soldier Field in an upcoming Marvel comic. They were expecting the stadium to have some more protection, but clearly they hadn't seen the current O-line. [Chicago Sun-Times]...
Royce White May Be Losing His Mind, But At Least He's Filming It
The troubled Gophers recruit announced he's leaving the team via a YouTube video. This would be news in itself. But the video itself is so cinematic, so convoluted, so generally bizarre...well, just watch....
Rough Season For The Flyers Naturally Leads To Cuckolding Rumors
A season that many thought would be a promising turning point for the Philadelphia Flyers has devolved into a chaotic nightmare of failed playoff dreams. So obviously someone must be banging a teammate's wife, right?...
Some Things Are More Important Than Football, But Not In Alabama
Yesterday, we told you about the Alabama lawyers (pictured?) who asked a judge to postpone their case so they can attend the BCS Championship Game. Well, the judge—an Auburn fan!—granted their request. It's a travesty of good sportsmanship....
Vinny Cerrato Gets In One Last Zinger On His Way Out The Door
This morning's winner is apparently the Redskins fans who have finally managed to chase away one half of the dynamic duo that's ruining their lives. Of course, the Joker killed Robin and that didn't stop Batman from kicking his ass....
Nope, Kazaam Isn't Any Better In 3D
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Metrodome Bathroom Swallows Another Victim
The Metrodome will not let the Twins escape easily, even if it has to trap former Rookies of the Year inside its porcelain bowels for all eternity....
The Toughest Fantasy Football Defeat Of All
Fidelity Investments recently fired four employees for organizing fantasy football leagues, because investment bankers have very strict rules about only gambling with other people's money. [Star-Telegram, via Yahoo; photo via]...
A Golf Porn Lawsuit That Has Nothing To Do With Who You Think
There are many ways of getting yourself banned from exclusive country clubs. Being poor or a minority are probably the most common, but letting them film a golf-themed porno there is probably the most exciting....
Follow In Flip Saunders' Footsteps, If That's What You Want To Do With Your Life
ESPN is teaming up with the Wizards to allow you to design an inbounds play for them. If your submission doesn't immediately lead to a turnover, they'll probably name you head coach. [ESPN]...
Everyone Talking About Tiger Woods, Except People Paid To Talk About Professional Golf
CBS golf commentator Ian Baker-Finch to The Sydney Morning Herald: "Mate, if I say one word about Tiger I will get fired." Maybe he could just whisper? [SMH]...