hi Page 1762 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Smokin' Jay: Cutler Sure Does Clean Up Nicely
Judging by this month's Michigan Avenue Magazine, the new Bears quarterback wants to mount a serious challenge to Matt Ryan as the best-looking ball-slinger in the NFL. What else is he saying with these hot new looks?...
Why Your Team Sucks: Miami Dolphins
Some people are fans of the Miami Dolphins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Miami Dolphins. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Redskins Cut Out Middle Man, Sell Directly To Scalpers
Did I say "scalpers"? That's so politically incorrect! I meant that "brokers" are the ones allowed to buy blocks of tickets from that team with a racial slur nickname, instead of the fans on their notoriously long waiting list....
A Small Way To Liven Up Any Fantasy Draft
You might've missed this fantasy football draft over the weekend, and it's your loss. Like many, it took place in a hotel room. But unlike most, it featured those two magic little words: midget strippers....
What Is The Michigan Story Really About?
Everyone is really worked up about Rich Rodriguez and his problems at Michigan, but maybe there's something else going on here that doesn't have anything to do with the Wolverines....
Why Your Team Sucks: Oakland Raiders
Some people are fans of the Oakland Raiders. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Oakland Raiders. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Please Make This Cougar Phenomenon Go Away
Seriously. Just stop. Fellas, if you need a release that bad, act like everyone else and patronize your local washy-wash. You'll feel slightly less humiliated. [7x7]...
White Sox Trade Jim Thome, Throw In The Towel
The White Sox, losers of four in a row, have fallen six games behind the division-leading Tigers. And since it's now September, there's really no point in trying anymore. Time to start shedding contracts and call it a season....
Plague Of Insects Descends Upon Scott Boras' Angel Stadium Suite
"The bees occupied his front-row seats directly behind home plate for the first two innings. They were removed with the help of a vacuum during the third inning." And then, lo, the Lord hardened the superagent's heart. [AP]...
You Made Rich Rodriguez Cry
ESPN interrupted Bill Belichick getting choked up over Teddy Bruschi so America could watch Rich Rodriguez get choked up about all the mean things the Detroit Free Press wrote about him. Why are our football coaches so sad?...
One Man's Old Fake Plastic Penis Utility Belt Is Another Man's Sports Memorabilia
$750. That's how much the owner of a Mankato sports bar payed to own Onterrio Smith's storied Whizzinator. "I'd love to have the Original Whizzinator on display. ... I'm going to use it."[RandBall]...
They're Not Saying "Boo!" They're Saying "I Hope You Die In A House Fire, You Pansy"
Jay Cutler returned to Denver last night for the first time since his temper tantrum-induced trade and did moderately well for a first half. A Neckbeard-less Kyle Orton also suffered a sewing injury on his index finger. [DenverPost]...
A Rough Night For Alabama High School Football
A head coach and a referee died in two separate incidents during the opening night of high school football in Alabama on Friday....
Bleacher Seat Almost As Good As Owner's Box
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Michigan Is About To Feel The Burn
The Detroit Free Press took a good, hard look at the Wolverines' off-season training regimen and found that Rich Rodriguez seems to have drawn heavily on the fitness precepts laid out in the Bataan Death March....
What The Buckeyes Learned In Canada
There must be a reasonable explanation for this photo, besides the obvious scenario of a Michigan SID spying on Thad Matta's squad and hacking into Ohio State's official athletics Web site. On second thought......
And This Is How Ketchup Is Made
It's the annual Tomatina, when Spanish revelers congregate and, well, throw tomatoes at each other. It looks as fruity as it sounds, but at least you'll look bloodier than you would running with the bulls. [WSJ Genius]...
Muppets Win Again
Life is all about priorities, compromises and compromising priorities, which is why the WNBA's Atlanta Dream — ever heard of 'em? — may not be able to play at home if they make the playoffs. They're being bumped by puppets....
Get Your Handkerchiefs Ready
Aplington-Parkersburg High School plays its first game since beloved coach Ed Thomas was murdered in June and ESPN is broadcasting it live at 7:00 ET. [USA Today]...
You Can Be The Proud Owner Of Onterrio Smith's Whizzinator
It's the perfect gift for the man in your life who routinely fails drug tests. It could also be used as a funny gag gift for a 40th birthday or a Christmas tree ornament. [RandBall]...