A Portrait Of The Editor As A Young Man

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

•Schefter reports that b oth Peyton Manning and Drew Brees will receive hefty raises this offseason. No! Terrible idea! You know how hard players play in their contract years? Now neither guy has anything to play for on Sunday.

•Kansas nearly falls to the curse of No. 1, but escapes Colorado in overtime. Which is sad, because Villanova was really looking forward to their chance to lose their first game atop the polls.

• Ottawa won its 10th game in a row, with Daniel Alfredsson scoring twice in the final minute. They've got all the momentum in the world; wouldn't it suck if something came along and shut down the NHL for a couple of weeks?

•Via Steinberg, Hugo Chavez has banned all non-sports related signs from Venezuelan baseball games. Would this cover those "spell 'ESPN' with one letter from each word" signs? If so, he can count on my vote! (Not that you have the choice of voting against him.)

•Animal Planet has released the starting lineups for Sunday's Puppy Bowl VI. Hey, I'm working Sunday...maybe you guys want someone to liveblog the Puppy Bowl? I could liveblog the Puppy Bowl. Please ask me to liveblog the Puppy Bowl.

(I'm told by the reader who sent in today's screengrab that this is something called Gino The Ginny. I have no idea what that is. Apparently a MySpace thing.)

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It's Thursday, so wakey wakey, eggs and bakey.