hi Page 1838 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize your father is quite probably insane ... • Little League Baseball: World Series at South Williamsport, Pa., U.S. semifinal, Waipahu, Hawaii, vs. Mill Creek, Washington (8 p.m., ET). Giant 12-year-olds terrorize the 200-foot fences. [ESPN] • MLB: Los Angeles Angels at Tam...
No White Person Has Ever Broken 10 Seconds in the 100 Meters
I thought 2008 would be our year. I really did. After all, if a black man can be elected President (hopefully), then a white person could break 10 seconds, right? But the 100 meters came and went and once more the fastest white man in the history of the universe remains some guy named Marian Woroni...
New White Sox Danger: Shaving Cream Pies to the Face
And you thought Ozzie Guillen was all the White Sox had to fear in the locker room. Backup catcher Toby Hall is recovering after Jermaine Dye blocked his attempted pie to the face. Does anyone ever wonder where all these pies come from in baseball locker rooms? How many times have you had extra pie...
College Football Previews: #12 Wisconsin
Today we're bringing a bit of Big 10 cross-pollination for you as Iowa fan Adam Jacobi from Black Heart Gold Pants brings the Badger love. At least a little bit? He also blogs at Fanhouse. 1) Wisconsin's tight end is Travis Beckum, a 26-year-old taxi driver who's recently been discharged from Vietn...
It's Cheer Day In Philadelphia! (This Will Not End Well)
Ah Philadelphia, Land of 10,000 Losses; where they throw batteries at J.D. Drew and boo Santa Claus. Derision falls like rain here, and everyone gets soaked; especially the Phillies, who are in danger of slip slidin' away in the NL East. The reason? According to Jimmy Rollins, it's fan negativity. H...
The Prodigal, Bloodshot, Neckbearded, Booze-Swilling Son Returns
In the past hour there have been no less than three emails with "The Neckbeard Returns!" as the subject line. This is either a bold move or an absolutely desperate one, but it's true: Kyle Orton is the starting quarterback for the 2008 Chicago Bears' season opener. Orton overcame Rex Grossman in the...
Tom Barbero Was Only Trying To Cool Off
Nothing gets a suburban small town more in a tizzy than when a "noted sex offender" moves into the neighborhood. All the rehabilitation and prison time in the world can never convince overly- protective parents this monster will ever be available for car-pool or babysitting duties. Granted, regardle...
Sunday Night Baseball: Padres-Phillies
Will Cole Hamels keep the Phillies in the NL East race? Will Cha Seung Baek prevent San Diego from being the worst team in baseball? Will you even be able to see this live blog? These queries and few others will be answered once you jump to the rhythm. (Jump jump to the rhythm.) * * * Okay, so nobod...
Apparently We Can't Have Football Camp Without Broomstick Rape
I hate to be the guy that laughs every time some poor high school kid gets violated by some other kid or group of kids that think, "Hey, if I could stick something in this kid's ass, why, that would just be fantastic!" Where's the logic? It's not that these things are suddenly happening out of nowhe...
Daryle Ward Will Eat Your Children In Broad Daylight
The Chicago Cubs have just won their ninth straight game. In related news, Hell has frozen over, pigs are flying, gas is now 75 cents a gallon, and Andy Dick just had sex with a girl. This wild chain reaction began when Ward, in the midst of an 0-for-13 slump, hit a three-run homer in the ninth to p...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Week
ESPN scoured its message boards to find its boldest, cleverest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ... • "Incredible. If he isn't the greatest Olympian ever, who is?" — StlrsfanforlifePrevious ESPN Featured Comment of the Week, plus a Featured Deadspin Response or two ......
Sushi Coming to Texas High School Football; Buzz Bissinger Seriously Displeased
Stop laughing Missouri fans. Sushi is coming to Southlake Carroll—Heisman Trophy candidate Chase Daniel's high school. I'm told that's him, #4, celebrating his state championship. Predictably the decision is being met with marketing difficulties. "I always pitch it as healthier chicken nuggets," Da...
Pete Carroll Laughs at Nick Saban's Piddling $4 Million Salary
Because according to the LA Times, Carroll made $4.4 million in the 2006-2007 school year. This makes him the highest paid college coach in America. At least with verifiable numbers. You'll recall that when Alabama signed Nick Saban prior to last season there was much hand-wringing over a college c...
It's The Dog Kids Love To Bite
That wasn't the sweet taste of victory that a 17-year-old Bunnell High School (Conn.) wrestler was experiencing recently during practice. One of his teammates was arrested for alleged sexual assault, when he produced his wiener and slapped it onto the mouth of an opponent, who had been pinned. Ah, t...
Spain Beats China In Overtime As "Slit-Eye" Picture Controversy Grows
Thanks to Pau Gasol's 29 points the Spanish team overcame a 14 point deficit to send the game into overtime tied at 72. Then, much to the chagrin of millions of angry Chinese, Spain overcame karma and pulled out an 85-75 victory. But not before their team picture exploded into controversy. To such a...
Sub-Continent Rejoices: India Has Their First Gold Medalist After 80 Years of Competing
It's kind of difficult to put into words how unbelievable it is that a country of 1.1 billion people had never won an individual gold medal before. Especially since India has been participating in the Olympics since 1928. In the ensuing 80 years they'd won only four individual medals. None of them ...
College Football Preview: #24 Michigan
Brian Cook writes MGoBlog He is a professional blogger and only puts on pants when he's cold. Yes, he has a girlfriend. STRENGTHS. Michigan's main asset this year is its rich history. And its stadium renovation. Michigan's two main assets this year are its rich history and its stadium renovation. A...
Let Leo Pitch! Cubs Tempt Fate By Dissing Their Oldest Fan
Leo Hildebrand wants to throw out the first pitch at a Chicago Cubs game. And since the 104-year-old is one of the few living things old enough to have actually seen the Cubs win a World Series (the bristlecone pine and certain species of desert tortoise are the others), one would think that the tea...
Did The White Sox Just Win The Central?
So the White Sox lost Jose Contreras for the season on Saturday in a loss to Boston, falling out of first in the Central. That made Sunday's contest somewhat more than your run-of-the-mill game. And Chicago's 6-5, come-from-behind win over the Red Sox just may have put them back into first place for...
Oh, Sergio...
Padraig Harrington had just given Sergio Garcia the lead in the PGA Championship with just four holes to play when he bogeyed number 14 at Oakland Hills. It took exactly two holes for Garcia to return the favor in kind when he inexplicably went after the tightest pin on the golf course with his appr...