hi Page 1839 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Contreras Injury a Blow To Chicago
It was the Sox Bowl Part II as the Red ones took on the White ones. And you know what happens when you put Red Sox in the mix with White Sox (besides all your shit turning pink). You get some pretty good baseball. Big Papi busted his slump with a three-rub double off the wall in Boston's 6-2 win ove...
More Gold, Another Record
Sunday has already come and gone in Beijing and our Sunday's just getting started. What a bunch of underachievers. With the second day of competition behind us, we have some new medalists, additional qualifiers, and another new world record. Go tune in to NBC right now. The U.S. basketball team will...
Our President Loves the Olympics, So Should You
It's tomorrow in Beijing and the events are about to start up again. There are a few medals up for grabs, as well as some qualifyers. Americans Michael Phelps and Katie Hoff, as well as naughty Aussie Stephanie Rice are all making finals debuts tonight and the men's gymnasts will take a shot at the ...
NFL News and Notes
God, it feels good to see football on television. I know it sucks watching third and fourth string scrubs scrambling around and dropping passes, but it's better than nothing. And it's only pre-season, so the fumbles, interceptions, and drops don't count. At least that's what I tell myself after my t...
Jim Edmonds Jogs La Russa's Memory
Cubs outfielder Jim Edmonds has gotten past the drama of being traded from the Cardinals in the offseason. Or maybe not. After refusing to discuss his former manager, Tony La Russa, with the media, Edmonds proceeded to go two for four, both hits going yard in a 3-2 win over his ex-team. The game str...
Reporter Doused By Blue-Painted Cubs Fan Outside Wrigley Field
Molly Dapier was doing freelance reporting for mouthpiece sports outside Wrigley Field. She's a tall, attractive blond reporter who appears to be minding her own business. Unbeknownst to her, however, a Chicago Cubs fan covered entirely in blue paint decided that he needed to dump a cooler full of w...
Ohio University Lineman Wins $250k in Lottery
Mike Eynon, a 6'3 305 pound senior lineman, walked into a BP just off campus and emerged with a winning ticket. As befits life as an indentured servant to the NCAA, one of his first telephone calls was to the campus compliance officer to ensure that winning the award didn't violate NCAA rules. He go...
Beef Queen Vs. Lettuce Lady: The Final Conflict
Showing an uncharacteristic sense of humor about itself, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has thrown down the leafy, fibrous gauntlet, challenging the newly-crowned Missouri Beef Council's Beef Queen, Meagan Webb, to fight their own Lettuce Lady in a tofu wrestling match. But we would adv...
The PGA Championship Is Off and Running
The first players are finishing their rounds at Oakland Hills Country Club outside of Detroit. Somewhere on his island kingdom in Florida Tiger Woods is not even bothering to watch. Meanwhile golf fans who are stuck at their desks would do anything to be able to skip out of work and listen to the d...
D.C. Kickball Suit of 2006 Reaches Conclusion
In a monumental ruling for kickball fans everywhere WAKA, LLC (World Adult Kickball Association) v. DC Kickball has been dismissed. So I guess it's not monumental at all. The case was filed in February 2006. Why? WAKA alleged that DC Kickball stole their kickball rules. And if you've ever lived in ...
The Questionable Madness Of Shawn Andrews
Shawn Andrews has always been a different type of guy. The line on him through most reporters is this: he's got his quirks, but he's a helluva football player and a really decent human being. Often times he's described as child-like (his nickname is the "Big Kid" after all, and he has a room in his ...
Slip 'N Slide With The King
How can you have a giant, water-soaked tarp on the field during a rain delay at Wrigley and NOT expect a guy dressed as '70s Elvis to come running out to slide across it? It's just common sense. Have a good time filling out the paperwork on this one, security guy (video following the jump). Actually...
Ozzie Guillen Forgets Sometimes That He's Talking Out Loud
Hold onto something because this is going to shock you: Ozzie Guillen admitted on Sunday that he sometimes instructs his pitchers to hit people. In related news, the Pope admits a fondness for large hats. But while this may be the world's worst-kept secret, it's a surprising bit of candor, even for ...
Elected Officials in Ohio Have Spent $400k on Buckeyes Tickets
What's more, they're allowed to buy the season tickets with campaign contributions. Wow. I know that many states allow elected officials to purchase seats to the games but I think most of them require them to use their own money. Or at least they should. The Chronicle of Higher Education has the de...
Hitler Is Pretty Much Fed Up With The Brett Favre Situation
This isn't the first time someone has added subtitles to this scene from the German film Downfall for parody goodness (see below). Best part: When Hitler asks all Jets, Buccaneers and Vikings fans to leave the room, and about three quarters of the general staff depart. I had no idea! Here's a soc...
Pro Football Hall of Fame Game Live Blog
All right, football zealots. Finally, a televised NFL game (for lack of a better word). It's the Indianapolis Colts and the Washington Redskins. John Madden has been dipped in bronze gravy for this joyous occasion, and Al Michaels will be sitting on his knee. Before you follow along after the J-M-P,...
For the Cubbies, Mark Cuban Is Ready to Put a Billion Where His Mouth Is
Mark Cuban has never shied away from spending money. Take for instance, his recent arbitration case against former Dallas Mavs coach Don Nelson. Cubes lost out on $6.3 million but insisted that he was pleased with the outcome because the truth about Nelson apparently came out during the proceedings....
Another Unfortunate Night For Super Judah
Personally, I blame Affliction. That douchey brand is intent on draping every fighter in that crap, and now it's forced Zab Judah's signature Star of David to a small space near the inseam of his shorts. And now Super Judah's career as a title contender is almost certainly over. Of course some crap...
Wow! Top Basketball Recruit's Mom Overcame 190,000-1 Odds to Receive a Call From FedEx's CEO
And FedEx's CEO just happens to be a huge Memphis basketball booster—having donated at least $500k to Memphis athletics. What a happy coincidence! Man, it's amazing how these things work out. This is so shocking. Because prior to this instance Memphis head coach John Calipari has had such a squeaky...
Ken Lucas Owns A Hyperbaric Chamber, And A Black Eye
Panthers' wide receiver Steve Smith got into it with cornerback Ken Lucas earlier today in training camp, the fracas resulting in Lucas being sped off the practice field in a cart with an ice pack over his left eye. But that's not what caught my attention about Lucas. While looking up background on ...