hi Page 1885 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Counting Down Isiah's Final Hours
The New York Knicks' season ends tomorrow night, in Indiana, but the official/unofficial goodbye to Isiah Thomas was in the Garden last night, with the Knicks losing to the Celtics' second stringers. It's all coming to an end, Mal. Our Sports Human Of The Year has just a few hours left of employmen...

Schilling's Doctor Perfects The Art Of Crap-Talking
Apparently, even Curt Schilling's personal physicans have big mouths. In an act of either monumentally selfish publicity hounding or a Herculean display of testicular fortitude, Dr. Craig Morgan, Schilling's "personal doctor", said that Curt was so infuriated with the Red Sox handling of his bum sho...

Surprisingly, Alcohol May Have Been Involved
If it wasn't for those screens in the outfield at Wrigley, fat drunken Cubs fans would be flopping onto the warning track like tuna on the deck of a Japanese fishing boat. "We caught another one, Lou!" I loved it when they used the gaffe hook to haul him back in....

Highway Robbery In The NBA
In more than 20 years of following professional basketball, I've never seen anything like this. The Philadelphia 76ers had seemingly beaten the Cleveland Cavaliers 90-89. Time had expired. The Sixers were in their locker room celebrating. But stop the presses! The referees had — after reviewing the ...

The NBA Playoff Guest List Is Ready. Guess Who's Not Invited?
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who don't want to work. He just want to bang on the drum all day. When he's not quoting obscure 80s lyrics, you can find him watching old episodes of The Smurfs at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Psyche! Part I. The game was over. The Sixers had won. In fact, the team...

Meet All The Herschel Walkers Tonight
Tonight, ABC's Nightline has an interview with former running back Herschel Walker about his battle with multiple-personality disorder. We find out that Herschel went so some very spooky places while in the throes of his disease, like suicidal thoughts and unpredictable violent urges. Walker's ex-wi...

Ron Artest's Lunacy Knows No Bounds
The life of an NBA entourage member is a hard one. Even though it may offer an otherwise unemployable sect of society the opportunity to live an exciting, fulfilling life vicariously through a pampered professional athlete, there is legitimate "work" to be done in order to maintain a prime spot in ...

Mike Tyson Can Turn Darkness Into Light
Are you depressed? Feeling scattered and out of control? Being chased by those pesky frowny-faced cartoon clouds all day? Well, perhaps you could go on medication and seek out professional help or you could just talk to Mike Tyson, who's offering to help lift the spirits of athletes in need. Or, at ...

Man U Rubs It In
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Dana White Says Kimbo/Liddell Fight Not Out Of The Realm Of Possibility
Last week,the UFC's mohawked maniac Chuck Liddell downplayed the success and viability of YouTube fighting phenom (and now EliteXC) figher Kimbo Slice, saying that the backyard brawler would get rocked in Mixed Martial Arts. Similar things have been said of Kimbo before, by plenty of other longtime ...

A Look at Last Night's Knockouts
I predicted that Gomez would quit on his stool after the sixth, but the doctor spared him the trouble a round earlier. Antonio Margarito paved the way for a huge July fight with Cotto in the stacked welterweight division by once again knocking out Kermit Cintron. Margarito overwhelmed the knockout m...

The Parrot Will Get In Your Head
Mascots are so fat these days! Can't we make money off of that?...

Michigan Students Will Bone You/Be Boned For OSU Tickets
According to a recent "study" conducted by the University of Michigan, there is a small fraction of the student body who will use sex in lieu of currency for various goods and services. According to Daniel Kruger, research scientist at the University of Michigan's School of Public Health, he's troub...

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.
Here's a pretty amusing video unearthed by the kids at Fan IQ, which features Max Kellerman, ex of just about every sports channel in every capacity, in his pre-WWL days doing his best 3rd Bass impersonation with his late brother Sam. (Sam, sadly, was viciously murdered back in '04. Gorgeous story ...

This Is What The Dolphins See In (S)Him
These two festive ladies are not your regular Sugar Free Red Bull-guzzling party girls you'd find at Making Time. No, these big, strapping dollies are actually former Michigan offensive lineman. The one with the crutches is Adam Kraus. The one with the shaved belly and blue hair is potential number...

South Park, Cheating, And You
“In America, it’s OK to cheat as long as you cheat your way to the top.” What does Stand and Deliver have in common with Bill Belichick? South Park explains....

Observations From Opening Night At Shea
We attended our first baseball game of the season last night, a sloppy, ugly, slightly comical 8-2 Mets win over the Phillies. We tried to attribute it to a cold April night, but seriously, we're not sure the Phillies were actually wearing gloves....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you pry the remote from his cold, dead hands ... • MLB: Phillies vs. Mets (7 p.m., ET) Time for Pelfrey Magic! [ESPN2] • NBA: Celtics vs. Wizards (7 p.m., ET); Suns vs. Spurs (9:30 p.m., ET). It's Guys Night Out! [ESPN] • NHL: Eastern Conference quarterfinals, Game 1, Senators vs...

NHL Playoff Preview: The Threes Meet the Sixes
NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski previews the 2008 Stanley Cup Finals right up until they drop what is commonly referred to as "the puck."...