hi Page 1902 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Wizards Can't Feel Their Faces
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or eating slow-smoked ribs and beef briskets, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...

About Last Night
What you missed due to a slight hemorrhoid flareup ... • NFL: Hey, the Texans played the Broncos last night. Hey! Hello? Is this thing on? • NHL: Luke, I'm your father, eh. Turn to the dark side you hoser. Hemsky, Oilers end Red Wings' win streak, 4-3. • Actual headline: "Steroids Report Upstages Go...

Meet The Brand New Face Of English Soccer
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Is This The List Of Players Mentioned?
OK, let's do a little test of the Internets today: In the last hour, we have been forwarded a list of players mentioned in the Mitchell Report by about 25 different people. Is this list substantiated? No. Is it from an MLB official? No. Do we have any reason to believe it's anything but random bunk?...

All Kyle Orton, All The Time
Just for fun, in honor of his start this Sunday, here are some more random photos of Deadspin Hall Of Famer Kyle Orton. We know, it's impossible not to find these, but nevertheless: We just can't get enough. These were taken in Paris, which proves Orton's going international. Go Kyle: Give 'em hel...

Yes America, The K-Fuk Era Is Here
Move over, Stubby Clapp. One side, Rusty Kuntz. There's a new sheriff in town. Cubs fans — and America — get ready to welcome Kosuke Fukudome to Major League Baseball, and into your hearts. The Japanese outfielder has agreed in principal to a four-year, $48 million deal with Chicago, which means tha...

Fun Time In Dolphins Land
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw. Therefore, Football Guys, the official chatroom of the NFL. It will run here on Deadspin weekly, every Tu...

Is Tennis Mobbed Up?
We should have seen it coming: It seems that the Russian Mafia may have infiltrated pro tennis (this surprises me: I would have guessed chess). But don't worry, sports fans; we have our best man on the case. John McEnroe. The former American great points to questions surrounding tennis stars such as...

A Full Weekend Of Losing
David Hirshey writes regular for Deadspin about soccer....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wondering if you'll ever stop squinting... • NFL: Indianapolis at Baltimore. Take a shot every time they say "Mayflower" to make the game tolerable. [NBC] • Movie: Rocky IV. Brett Myers wouldn't take that shit from Adrian.ESPN Classic] • Movie: Meet John Doe. Alright, but if he's...

Former Fresno State Coach Is Rich...Pending Appeal
Stacy Johnson-Klein made a decent living as the women's basketball coach at Fresno State University. When she became the victim of sexual harassment and gender discrimination before eventually being fired she became a very wealthy woman....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as firefighters attempt to "Free Willy" ... • College football: NCAA Division I Championship Subdivision playoffs, semifinal, Richmond at Appalachian State. 'Nuff said. [ESPN2] • College women's soccer: NCAA Division I College Cup, semifinal, Notre Dame vs. Florida State, College Stati...

Which Sports-Related Person Would Engage In A 2Girls1Cup-Type Video?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday ... well, that next five Fridays, anyway. Yes, after more than a year of goodness, Mr. Daulerio is retiring the Cultural Oddsmaker column at the beginning of 2008. There are now FIVE left. Email him to let him know how much you'll miss him....

The Thrilling Nature Of An NFC Wild-Card Elimination Game
The NFL Network was crowing about its Cowboys-Packers ratings last week. Let's see how they do with a game much fewer people care about....

Curt Schilling On His Bonus Clause, And Others'
Curt Schilling, on his immaculately typed blog this week, blasted the new Baseball Writers Association rule that says anyone who has an incentive in their contract to win an MVP or Cy Young award will be ineligible. There's money to be lost, but that doesn't seem to be his issue; actually, we're not...

Fun With Bermanisms
What is the worst Bermanism of all time? Sure, they're all cringe-inducing; especially if you imagine him blurting them out during pickup sex. Plus, they seem to multiply like fleas; there must be about a hundred of them. Well, actually, 528 to be exact. Yep, some poor sap compiled a list of every b...

Woman Knocks Out Husband With Potato; Dodgers Sign Her For $25 Million Over Two Years
If you're Irish like me, this is pretty much an everyday occurrence. But for others it may be rare: During a drunken Thanksgiving argument, a wife grabbed a potato and fired it at her husband, nailing him right in the snout and knocking him to Dream Town. (As Emeril would say: "Bam!"). Aside from th...

About Last Night
What you missed while playing Zap-A-Bug ... • NHL: In a game narrated by Morgan Freeman, Crosby's first trip to Edmonton results in 4-2 win by Pittsburgh. • NBA: Always Be Closing! Iverson scores 51, but is only 1-for-4 in the fourth quarter as Lakers beat Nuggets 110-107. • MLB: This just in: A .22...
