hi Page 1948 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Oh Miller Don't Wanna Dance With Somebody
And thankfully, I won't have to watch him feel the heat with somebody. With somebody who (somebody who) loves him. Sigh....

If Anything Is Going To Lure Karl Malone Out Of Retirement...
...it will almost certainly be the Memphis Grizzlies "Camo Night," being held tonight in conjunction with the Grizzlies vs. Bucks (and I bet that's not a coincidence) game tonight at the FedEx Forum. Fishermen and hunters of any animal (including little Mexican girls) are encouraged to attend the ...

Hirshey: It Should Have Been Mourinho
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....

Michigan Legends Are Dropping Like Flies
To the best of my knowledge, there was never a band called "The Dead Gerald Fords," but if such a band does exist, they're going to have to change their name, too. Former President and center on the 1932 and 1933 national champion Michigan Wolverines football teams Gerald Ford died last night at the...

A Year From Now, Art Shell Will Be Wearing A Santa Suit In A Mall
I know that the appropriate thing to do here is to make a hateful comment towards the NFL Network, but you know what? I get the NFL Network. The NFL Network and me are on pretty good terms....

The Greg Oden World Domination Tour Rolls On
I won't be here to share it with you, I'm afraid, but there are a couple of pretty noteworthy games on the college basketball schedule this afternoon. Greg Oden and Joakim Noah get it on as #3 Ohio State visits #4 Florida at 4:00 on CBS, and then at 4:30 on ESPN2, Bob Knight has a chance to become t...

Today In The Premiership...
• Aston Villa 0-3 Manchester United. The win means that Manchester United will hold on to the top spot in the league, no matter what Chelsea does against Wigan this afternoon. Had United lost, Chelsea would've been able to grab the lead in the standings, which would have been sort of depressing and ...

Are We Going To Stand For This? Hell 2 Da Naw!
The top catch phrases of 2006 were announced by Reuters today, and we must say we're a little confused. At No. 1 was "Stay the Course," and "If I Did It" came in at No. 2. We are unimpressed. But what followed next was truly baffling....

This Guy Is Very Excited About Ken Williams' Offseason Moves
It's a Christmas Miracle! Ladies and gentlemen, we present you with the spiritual brother of our friend Mike Cooper ... meet Ryan Drop....

For A Minute There We Thought This Was Going To Look Ridiculous
Ben Foster, an inventor with a simple motto: Dignity, Always Dignity....

Those 1987 Mets Were True Method Actors
On the list of lazy pre-Christmas time videos to whittle away the remaining office hours with, this one might be the most cringe-inducing. It's part 1 of a half-hour "musical adventure" — here's Part Two and Part Three — involving the 1987 Mets, some extremely annoying children and a "nerd" who illu...

Iverson, The Day After
What is left for the City of Brotherly Love, in the wake of the Allen Iverson trade yesterday? Jeff Garcia? Actually ... yeah, Jeff Garcia! Even the Flyers have lost a franchise-record seven straight. Darren Daulton, Philadelphia needs your time machine now more than ever....

NBA Roundup: All Suns, All Bulls, All The Time
Notes on Tuesday's doings in the National Basketball Association ......

Iverson Finally Traded ... To The Nuggs!
Well, we suppose that makes sense: When your superstar is suspended 15 games for throwing a punch at someone named Mardy, the only real recuse you have is to go out and get yourself another superstar....

At The Garden With Deron, Stephon And The Cabal
So it figures: We go see our first (and likely only) Knicks game of the year, and not only is it their most "exciting" victory of the year, but it's a one that, the day after, even Knicks fans don't really care about. The Knicks had a rare stud game from Stephon Marbury — and by "rare," we mean "we ...

Keep Her Away From The Stanford Tree!
This virtual lady here is "Crimson Hawk," a comic book/graphic novel heroine who is "the world's sexiest, most powerful, and most frequently defeated, humiliated and ravished superheroine." (Link NSFW.) She's the only known existence of the "Crimson Hawk" name occurring in the popular lexicon, save ...

Hirshey's Holiday Week Off
We are sorry to disappoint, but our main man David Hirshey is taking a week off from his weekly windings on the world of the English Premier League. (That's soccer, in case you forgot.) He sends the following explanation/report:...

It Never Rains Might Rain In Southern California
The Chiefs take the field tonight with heavy hearts; team owner Lamar Hunt having passed away earlier in the week. I don't know if Lamar gets to control such things wherever he is, but the San Diego forecast calls for high winds and a chance for rain. That probably benefits the Chiefs and their po...

Today In The Premiership...
• Arsenal 2-2 Portsmouth. Arsenal was able to claw out a point, despite facing a 2-0 deficit in the second half. Emmanuel Adebayor and Gilberto Silva scored just two minutes apart for the Gunners after Matt Taylor gave Portsmouth a 2-0 lead just after the break. Despite being just one point apart ...

Tank Johnson's Bodyguard Killed
Willie B. Posey was pronounced dead after being shot in the back during a fight outside a Chicago nightclub last night. Police wouldn't immediately confirm if it was the same Willie B. Posey who was arrested at Tank Johnson's house during a raid on Thursday, but Tank Johnson was seen leaving the hos...