hi Page 694 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Who Farted On <i>First Take</i>?
Here it is, the only reason to ever discuss First Take in a serious manner. During a characteristically loud discussion about Kevin Durant in Monday’s episode, it very much sounded like someone coughed as a maneuver to cover up a fart. But who was the culprit?...
Yu Darvish Fucked Up Three Guys With A Magic Fastball
There are many things a pitcher can do on the mound that are cool as hell—we’re talking about throwing bending sliders and disappearing splitters, here. But the absolute cruelest thing a pitcher can do is smoke three guys with one 99 mph fastball....
Christian Yelich Has Been A Human Fireball Against The Cardinals
When Christian Yelich homered in the first four games of the season, all of which were against the St. Louis Cardinals, it was a fun curio—a hot streak carried over from the Brewers right fielder’s MVP season last year and a great player being great in an unusual way. Gabe Fernandez even wrote about...
Robert Kraft Is Challenging The Florida Constitution To Keep You From Seeing Video Of His Hand Job
Can billions of dollars buy permission not to abide by a state constitution? Robert Kraft—owner of the New England Patriots, overseer of one of the greatest dynasties in modern NFL history, and self-styled humanitarian (if you ignore the coziness with Donald Trump) is betting yes. He hired some of t...
Joel Embiid Couldn't Keep A Straight Face While Apologizing For His Elbow On Jarrett Allen
Joel Embiid got hit with a flagrant foul late in the first half of his Sixers’ eventual series-tying 145-123 win over the Nets on Monday night when he unleashed the full force of his elbow into Jarrett Allen’s neck while trying to beat him in the paint. Allen got up right away, but my goodness, that...
Alex Ovechkin Just Dropped Andrei Svechnikov
The Carolina Hurricanes scored the first blow of their Game 3 matchup with the Capitals, getting a goal from Warren Foegele to go up 1-0. But Alex Ovechkin responded with a literal counterpunch—a whole bunch of them, in fact—to knock down Andrei Svechnikov....
There's A Lot Going On In This Jason Vargas Interview
Everyone’s eyes will naturally be drawn to the colonial-seeming fellow sliding into the background of Saturday’s postgame scrum for Mets pitcher Jason Vargas. Fine, that’s understandable. This blog will get to him shortly, but there are other things to appreciate here, too....
Leeds Fan Breaks Ankle While Celebrating A Goal, Waits Until After The Game To Go To Hospital
With a tight 1-0 home win over Sheffield Wednesday this weekend, Leeds United took a big step toward sealing promotion to the Premier League next season. In the explosion of joy following Jack Harrison’s 65th minute goal, one Leeds fan exploded his ankle during his raucous celebration, which require...
Finland Got Hosed And USA Won Gold
Team USA won its fifth straight women’s world hockey championship on Sunday, but not without controversy. (Important note: “Controversy” is the way to say it if you’re from the winning country and don’t want to admit the Americans got lucky and the Finns got robbed.)...
Un-Fucking-Real
He was finished. He was disgraced, hobbled, and eaten alive by the ravages of both fame and time. His story was over; it was simply a matter how clumsily it would end and how long it would take for that end to finally arrive....
Enes Kanter Saved The Blazers From Getting Swept For A Third Straight Year
One of the hallmarks of surprise wins in the NBA is when the last player a team expects comes out of the woodwork with a sudden burst of talent that they’ve never displayed before and causes all sorts of pandemonium with their presence. For the Oklahoma City Thunder on Sunday, the unexpected spoiler...
Tiger Woods Just Won The Fucking Masters
The illustrious green jacket is back on the shoulders of Tiger Woods for the first time since 2005. After battling the likes of Dustin Johnson, Brooks Koepka and Xander Schauffele all day, Woods won the whole damn thing with a score of -13. As if everything that had been building to this moment wasn...
Caron Butler's New Hair Freaked Out His Kids
Caron Butler went on national television with a brand new head of hair on Saturday like nobody was going to notice, but people certainly did....
Kenny Atkinson's Trust In Caris LeVert Paid Off
When Caris LeVert went down with his gruesome-looking foot injury in November, the initial assumption was that his season was over. It made sense at the time. When you combine his history of foot injuries, and the fact that he had to be taken off in a stretcher, the projections tend to be pessimisti...
Holy Shit, Chris Davis Actually Got A Hit
A historic weight was lifted off of Chris Davis’s shoulders on Saturday. After 54 consecutive at bats without a hit—a streak that started in September of last season—Davis did the unthinkable and finally smacked one into the outfield for a single. The unfortunate soul who helped Davis break the stre...
Manny Machado Was Way Less Impressed With His Incredible Throw Than Adam Warren Was
That is Padres pitcher Adam Warren with quite a goofy grin on his face in the bottom of the eighth inning against the Diamondbacks on Friday. Why is he smiling from ear to ear? Because his teammate Manny Machado had just done this:...
Uh-Oh, Joel Embiid's Knee Might Keep Him Out Of Game 1
A visibly frustrated Joel Embiid said he “has no idea” if he’ll play tomorrow in Game 1 of the Sixers’ first-round series versus the Nets, due to pain in his left knee. Seems bad:...
Bryson DeChambeau Foiled By Dumbass Stupid Flagstick And Dumbass Stupid Hole
Bryson DeChambeau leads the field after shooting six under par in the opening round of The Masters. Despite this, he has as much reason as anybody to feel bitter about how the course treated him on Thursday....
Calgary's Andrew Mangiapane Didn't Have To Embarrass Philipp Grubauer Like That
Flames winger Andrew Mangiapane decided that the best time to show Calgary he was worth calling up on the last day of 2018 was in Game 1 of his team’s series against the Colorado Avalanche. With less than six minutes left in the second period, the 23-year-old was able to deke his way past three defe...