hi Page 781 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dang, I Guess They Have "Oat Milk" Now?
All the time, people (editors, for example) are insisting that blogs have to have “a point” or must be “about something”; they are saying things like “Bert, what is this blog” and “I honestly forgot you worked here until just now and I think I preferred it that way.” That’s just how it is for all of...

Ousmane Dembélé Clowns Two Tottenham Defenders And Dunks The Ball Into The Net
Ousmane Dembélé just gave Barcelona the lead against Tottenham in the Champions League by flying past defender Kyle Walker-Peters with an absolutely insulting big touch and then sitting midfielder Harry Winks on his ass with his trademark fake shot before slamming the ball past goalkeeper Hugo Llori...

No Offense, But Adam Ottavino Would Make Babe Ruth Look Like A Sack Of Pig Assholes<em></em>
There might be a couple of outliers, but for the most part, current players in any major sport would easily defeat the sport’s early legends. It’s not their fault. The older dudes were the best of their era—and some of those eras still had the color line—but they would not be the best in a later era...

Despised Coach Of Chicago Bulls, On Task Force Designed To Mitigate His Failings: "I'm Jacked Up"
It’s been just eight days since Fred Hoiberg got canned, opening up the Bulls head coach vacancy that was then filled by Jim Boylen. The speed with which the shit has leapt towards the fan strains credulity. But since the Bulls found themselves stuck under the thumb of this retrograde strongman, the...

Temple's Interim Head Coach Is Fired The Hell Up To Play A Bowl Game In Shreveport
The Temple Owls will travel to Shreveport, La. on Dec. 27 to take on Duke in the Independence Bowl. You’d be hard pressed to find five people on the planet who are excited about this game, but one of those people is definitely longtime Temple assistant Ed Foley....

Report: White Sox Acquire Starting Pitcher
MLB’s hot stove continues to burn the fingerprints off those who touch it, and the Chicago White Sox are somewhere in its vicinity, holding their palms up to try to warm up a little bit. The latest news out of the winter meetings, broken by The Athletic’s Ken Rosenthal and his associate Robert Murra...

Joel Embiid, Who Has A Migraine And Diarrhea: “I Have A Migraine<em></em> And Diarrhea”
Joel Embiid is dealing with a few ailments....

Of Course Lionel Messi Has Become A Master Of Free Kicks
Lionel Messi is slowing down. It’s a painful thing to admit, but it’s true. As the old saw goes, Father Time is undefeated, and there is no greater testament to how unbelievable Messi was at his peak than the fact that he remains far and away the best player in the world in spite of Father Time’s ef...

Ass Team Of The Week: Washington Sucked Down A Doo-Doo Milkshake On Purpose
Not so long ago Washington was a boring football team that nevertheless appeared destined to play in precisely one playoff game, which all Americans could feel comfortable skipping. On Sunday, though, they found themselves down 40-0 to the Giants, a very bad team that was also playing without Odell ...

Bulls Rudely Mocked For Jim Boylen's Practice Schedule Following Another Ugly Loss
Fresh off an air-clearing series of meetings having to do with interim head coach Jim Boylen being an overbearing dickweed, the lowly Bulls took the floor Monday night looking to reverse course after a historic beatdown. Their opponent, the Kings, is another team that was supposed to spend this seas...

Nationals Somehow Add New Layers Of Humiliation To Loss Of Bryce Harper
The Nationals have historically acquitted themselves far better in free agency than their fellow DC professional sports teams, at least two of whom are excruciatingly awful at signing players. But in their hurry to announce their franchise-altering failure to retain Bryce Harper, they appear to have...
![MMA Writer Exposed As Child Pornography Collector [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/glmycadh1gofp17vbhcc.png)
MMA Writer Exposed As Child Pornography Collector [Update]
Late last week, Scottish MMA writer Iain Kidd was arguing with a Twitter user about Greg Hardy’s UFC career. That user, @Fight_Expert, searched Kidd’s name online and quickly found and posted news reports from Scotland showing that Kidd had pleaded guilty to child pornography charges over the summer...

Normal Man Donald Trump Hilariously Fucks Up Army-Navy Coin Toss
There are many compelling reasons why a reasonable person might not want to be President of the United States. The hours and stress and travel are crushing, because the broader responsibility of the job is so crushing. What a president can or cannot actually do to alter the broader course of things...

It Only Took Four Bears To Make Jared Goff Look Like A Chump
Jared Goff had maybe the worst game of his career on Sunday night against the Bears, putting up just 180 passing yards on 44 attempts and tossing three non–Hail Mary interceptions and zero touchdowns in L.A.’s 15-6 loss. For a Rams team that had scored at least 29 points in each of its past six game...

Steph Curry Pulls Up From 238,900 Miles, Denies Moon Landing
Over the weekend, the Chang’e-4 spacecraft took flight from Sichaun province in China. It is bound for the far side of the Moon. The craft is expected to touch down early next month, becoming the first ever to “soft-land” on the far side. Where does Steph Curry think the craft is headed?...

The Bucs Had A Punt Blocked By A QB Named Taysom
Taysom Hill plays more than you’d expect from a backup to Drew Brees’s backup. Saints head coach Sean Payton uses Hill as a change-of-pace QB, usually to run the read-option, and he’s logged at least seven offensive snaps in every Saints game this year. Hill had more run earlier in the season when h...

The Bears' Trick Play Was A Work Of Beefy Genius
Last night’s game between the Rams and Bears, a 15-6 victory for Chicago, has everyone talking about the power of the Bears’ defense. And with good reason! When you go out there and throttle one of the best offenses in the league in the middle of a high-scoring era like this one, you deserve to be t...

Report: Obnoxious Hardman Jim Boylen Nearly Drove The Bulls To Mutiny In Less Than A Week
It’s been one week since the Bulls fired head coach Fred Hoiberg after a 5-19 start to the season. The team was handed over to assistant coach Jim Boylen, who was left with the task of jumpstarting a young and relatively talented but extremely listless squad. Here’s how that’s going so far: Boylen g...

The Miami Miracle Was 12 Years In The Making
The Miami Miracle was, like any even-half-decent football play, lovingly swiped. In this case, from one of the greatest college football games ever played: Boise State vs. Oklahoma in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl. The Dolphins’ last gasp was supposed to be the relatively simple hook and lateral that Boise S...

Buzzkill Cowboys Get In The Way Of Eagles' Group Touchdown Celebration
In a game that will likely be used to begin sleep studies for decades to come, the Eagles waited until the second half to score their first points of the day. Carson Wentz connected with Alshon Jeffery for a two-yard touchdown throw just one play after Philly’s defense picked off Dak Prescott on the...