hi Page 794 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Browns Are Being The Browns
Happy Halloween from Emergency Football Show Weekly! This week Dom and I discuss the Browns’ coaching changes, why morning NFL games are so great (Dom—and West Coasters—may disagree), Michael Dickson’s fourth-down run and Todd Gurley’s decision to go down before scoring a touchdown. Enjoy!...
Here's A Connor McDavid Highlight
Remember those three days earlier this month when it was acceptable to ask if Auston Matthews had caught up to Connor McDavid? That was fun, like that very strange month in 2012 when some otherwise smart and reasonable people claimed that Claude Giroux was the best player in the world. Both of those...
Bills Fan Faces Stiff Punishment After Cops Pegged Him As Dildo-Thrower
Police were pretty hard on Florida man Michael Abdallah, 34, who was arrested for throwing a dildo on the field during the Patriots-Bills game on Monday. The cops reportedly used security camera footage and eyewitness accounts to grab Abdallah; then they squeezed him for $250 in cash or $1,000 in b...
Kawhi Leonard Pestered Ben Simmons Into The Bad Kind Of Triple-Double
Ben Simmons, who can’t shoot worth shit, had the bad kind of triple-double Tuesday night, registering 11 turnovers against 11 points and 10 assists. This isn’t an especially rare feat in the NBA—Basketball Reference says it has happened 81 other times since 1977—although Simmons’s 21 combined points...
Ref Kicks Dildo At Bills Game
Bills fans tossing sex toys onto the field is a well-worn bit at this point, as evidenced by the fact that three separate dildos made their way onto the playing surface during last night’s game against the Patriots. It’s probably time for the dildo-tossers to get a new gag, but this one plays as lon...
What The Fuck, Warriors
Look at that fuckin’ score. Klay Thompson hit 10 threes in the first half. The Warriors went 17-of-27 from beyond the arc before halftime. That’s some shit where if I did it in 2K I would be ashamed, and would immediately turn the difficulty up....
Shaun White Earns Distinction For First Awful Celebrity Halloween Costume Of 2018
With an entire universe of Halloween costume options available to him—more established characters than you can count, tens of thousands of creepily sexed-up versions of those same characters, and infinite concoctions from his own imagination—Olympic snowboarder Shaun White landed on one that, detach...
China And Russia Are Back On Top Of Men's Gymnastics<em></em>
It’s been four years since Chinese men’s gymnastics occupied the top step of a team medal podium. After losing the team world title to Japan at the most recent team worlds in 2015 and then earning only a team bronze in Rio (and no individual medals), since Rio, the Chinese men have clearly been focu...
Boban Marjanovic Can Ferociously Dunk By Just Kinda Leaning Back
As a general rule, garbage time is unfun to watch—just a bunch of guys scrimmaging out in the public sphere, the actual game long reduced to a formality. The large exception to that rule is named Boban. There will never be a time when 7-foot-3 center Boban Marjanovic is on a basketball court and doe...
Soccer Guy Gets Yellow Card For Celebrating Goal By Proposing To His Girlfriend
Eduard Bello, 23, a Venezuelan midfielder for Antofagasta, a club in the Chilean first division, scored in the second minute yesterday to give his side the early lead over Everton CD. Then he ran off the field and into the stands to propose to his girlfriend, Venezuelan beach volleyball player Gabri...
Ben Simmons Is Going To Need To Shoot At Some Point
Just in time for Halloween, here is a short horror film from Saturday night’s Hornets-76ers game, starring Philadelphia guard Ben Simmons, with fellow Sixer Markelle Fultz in a supporting role:...
Rick Pitino Wants To Coach In The NBA, Just As I Would Like To Harness The Terrifying Power Of The Oort Cloud
It appears that former Louisville head coach Rick Pitino called up ESPN insider Adrian Wojnarowski and told him that he’d like to once again coach in the NBA. Instead of saying, “Good luck with that, Rick, but I need to get off the phone because I’m quite busy,” Woj produced this article detailing P...
Dave Roberts Helped The Red Sox Grind The Dodgers Into Dust
After walking Xander Bogaerts and striking out Eduardo Núñez in the top of the seventh, Dodgers starter Rich Hill was pulled by manager Dave Roberts from an outing in which he was tossing a shutout and had allowed just one hit. L.A.’s bullpen then turned a four-run lead into a 9-6 loss, and a World ...
Mike Gundy And Tom Herman Cook Up Some Beef, Then Quickly Throw It Away
The ending of Oklahoma State’s 38-35 victory over Texas on Saturday night got a little beef-y when Longhorns coach Tom Herman had to be restrained from coming at Cowboys coach Mike Gundy right there on the field. For a moment, this one had some real sizzle. But in the end, there was nothing to savor...
The Warriors Don't Give A Shit About Fergie's Feelings
The Golden State Warriors had a response to Fergie’s ex-husband, Josh Duhamel, calling Draymond Green a “prick” in the form of a semi-choreographed dance. The team celebrated a comeback road victory over the New York Knicks in the locker room with a remixed version of Fergie’s embarrassingly poor re...
Fergie's Ex-Husband Calls Out That "Prick" Draymond Green For Laughing At Her Dreadful Rendition Of The National Anthem
Before the start of the 2018 NBA All-Star game, Fergie uncorked a staggeringly bizarre rendition of what was supposedly the national anthem on an unsuspecting public. Like everyone else who heard it, Draymond Green had himself a chuckle, perhaps because he’d just witnessed a lady singing the word “w...
Does Robin Lopez Have Teeth In His Hair? An Investigation
This Halloween season, Jabari Parker was asked to do something very, very spooky and unpleasant. No, not “impede literally any professional basketball player’s movement towards the hoop,” but just “reach inside an box with unusual contents.” The contents were the head of Robin Lopez. While gingerly ...
Race-Baiting Troll Phil Mushnick Is Really Reaching For Excuses To Be Racist Now
What’s that cranky old knob Phil Mushnick been up to lately besides scolding Joakim Noah for being an ungrateful black person because Noah said he’s against war? Other race-baiting shit, it seems. Today, he published a column titled, “The sick, disturbing video that ESPN thought was a laugh riot,” w...
Why Didn't The Raiders See If They Could Get More For Khalil Mack?
The Raiders got a good haul for all-world pass-rusher Khalil Mack, when they traded him to the Bears just before the start of the season. But that doesn’t mean they couldn’t conceivably have gotten a better one. Now there’s a report that says they didn’t even try....
Dolphins Improvise Delightful New Way Of Advancing Upfield
It’s been a funny night in Houston. The Texans were hit with a personal foul for making contact with a long-snapper. Danny Amendola threw a touchdown. DeAndre Hopkins had one of the most insane catches you will ever see nullified by offsetting penalties. But the wildest play of all has to be this ri...