hi Page 914 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Alshon Jeffery And Adam Schefter Show Us How The Scoop Game Is Played
Tim Rohan of The MMQB spent the start of NFL free agency shadowing Adam Schefter for 24 hours. What he produced was a revealing timeline that chronicles the manic energy of an NFL scoop hound on the biggest day of the year for NFL scoop hounds. And Alshon Jeffery is all pissed off about it, for some...
I Don't Think I Can Deal With Jim Harbaugh In Slim-Fit Khakis
The only thing Jim Harbaugh loves as much as football, Twitter, baseball dust, milk, and his bitchin’ mitt is a fresh pair of khaki pants. For years, Harbaugh has worn ill-fitting but absurdly cheap khakis, because luxury only serves to dull one’s taste for victory. It’s a little jarring, then, to s...
A History Of Globalization
“Americanism, not globalism, will be our credo.”...
Bears Sign Mark Sanchez, For Some Reason
Former Jets and Eagles quarterback Mark Sanchez is back, baby. The Chicago Bears added Sanchez to their dogpile at quarterback and signed him to a one-year deal tonight, per a report from Ian Rapoport which was later confirmed by Adam Schefter....
Jake Arrieta Jacks Longest-Ever Measured Dinger By A Pitcher<em></em>
Jake Arrieta stepped up to the plate for the first time at spring training this afternoon and he promptly picked up where he left off last year, smashing a Zack Greinke pitch 465 feet off into the stands. This is the longest dinger by a pitcher in the Statcast-era. It would have been one of the 25 l...
Skins Finally Do Something Right, Propose An End To Those Ugly Color Rush Jerseys
Thursday Night Football is the NFL at its worst. Between the half-rested players and the blindingly ugly uniforms, it’s no wonder that Richard Sherman characterized it as a “poopfest.” Two years ago, the NFL made teams play in monochromatic Nike “Color Rush” jerseys for the express purpose of sellin...
Colombia Beat Bolivia 1-0, And We Got Another Heavy Metal ¡GOL!
Colombian soccer announcer Javier Fernández is the world’s greatest sports broadcaster. Here’s James knocking in a penalty rebound for his side’s only goal in Colombia’s win over Bolivia today, as called by “El Cantante del Gol” and complete with the traditional heavy metal goal music....
The Sweet 16 Teams That Are Worth Rooting For
Despite what ESPN and the like would have you think, there are no Cinderellas left in this year’s NCAA tournament—the real Cinderellas were offed by programs designed to chew up teams with limited talent and depth. ...
The President's In A Big-Boy Truck Beep Beep
Today started with our pee baby president’s latest piss tantrum in the pages of Time magazine. It ends with him climbing around in a big rig, no doubt a reward for acting like a big boy and keeping his diapy dry....
The Wizards Need Rest More Than Anybody But Might Be Too Dumb To Take It
Here is how long the NBA season is: Long enough for the Washington Wizards to have gone from a bad team with a good starting five and an atrocious bench, to a good team with a great starting five and an atrocious bench, to a dark-horse Finals pick with a great starting five and a good bench, to a st...
High School Baseball Coach Accused Of Yelling "Ching Chong" At Asian Player
A San Francisco high school baseball coach made a racist remark toward his Asian-American player during a game, according to another player’s father, who spoke to columnists Phil Matier and Andy Ross of the San Francisco Chronicle....
Jeff Hornacek: We're Going To Keep Doing This Stupid Thing That Makes No Sense
Anything good that is ever created inside Madison Square Garden will eventually be dragged down 34th Street and dumped into the Hudson River, where it will somehow catch on fire. Remember when the Knicks were feisty and it was fun to sit around talking about how great Kristaps Porzingis was? That fe...
White Sox Manager Rick Renteria Makes Queso Fundido
The Chicago White Sox will be relying on new manager Rick Renteria to develop their promising young players this year. Whether he can do anything like he did during his 2014 stint as manager of the Chicago Cubs, when he helped turn first baseman Anthony Rizzo and starting pitcher Jake Arrieta into s...
Recent Mike Lupica Headlines, Ranked
It’s very likely that you haven’t thought about pocket-sized sports bloviator Mike Lupica in quite some time, but you should know that he is still on his grind, producing columns for Sports on Earth. You should also know that his headlines are incredible....
Gymnast Explains Why She Felt Nobody Would Believe She Was Sexually Assaulted
Disgraced former gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar already has been criminally charged with sexually abusing nine gymnasts, put in jail, and fired from his job at Michigan State. The university, which cleared Nassar in a 2014 complaint, also went ahead this year with another investigation—this from a c...
Our Petulant Piss Boy President Must Be Treated Like A Baby
All journalists know that if you’re interviewing a childish little sensitive pisshead baby, you must do so very carefully, to avoid making him run out of the room crying. One of these little pisshead babies is now our president....
Giannis Antetokounmpo Makes Plays Nobody Else Can<em></em><em></em>
Tonight, the Bucks traveled to Sacramento where they defeated a limp Kings team happy to roll over in hopes of a few more ping pong balls. Unlike Sacramento, Milwaukee still has a playoff spot to play for, and their super-duper-megastar Giannis Antetokounmpo clearly came to play and make heaps of th...
<em></em>Minnesota High School Basketball Player Nails One-Handed Pirouette Buzzer-Beater
Champlin Park High School came into the opening game of the Minnesota state tournament undefeated, and they left undefeated, thanks to a last-gasp buzzer-beater from senior guard Sam Dubois. The Rebels came back from an eight-point halftime hole with the help of 30 points from McKinley Wright, who m...
Humorless Dickhole Business Writer Very Upset About March Madness Pools<em></em>
As much as we here at Deadspin like to poke fun at sportswriters and political hot-take artists, the truth is that business journalists may be the lowliest scum of all. We’re all horrified by Darren Rovell, and yet there’s only ONE of him in sports. Really, that man is just a business reporter in sp...