hi Page 919 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hello, Kareem Hunt
The Patriots got shoved into a trash compactor last night, and watching it felt wonderful. Alex Smith’s passable and shocking Aaron Rodgers impression may have been the most impressive part of the Chiefs’ performance, but the part that was the most fun to watch was rookie running back Kareem Hunt ma...
Patriots Eat Shit In Front Of God And Everyone
At the end of the third quarter tonight, the Patriots led the Chiefs by a score of 27-21. They proceeded to roll over and die. They gave up 21 points in the fourth, letting Kansas City run away with a 42-27 victory for the worst beating New England’s endured in recent memory....
With The First Nutshot Of The Season, Football Truly Has Arrived
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FS1 Won't Be Airing Jason Whitlock's Latest Colin Kaepernick Skit
On Tuesday, All Takes Matter co-host Jason Whitlock started an internet firestorm with this tweet:...
Urban Meyer Hits Tom Herman With The Classic Scoreboard Burn
With one week and one embarrassing loss in the books, it seems about right that college football fans already have to listen to some Texas coaches squirm and blame-shift....
Look At These Goddamn Blighted Dogs
The Chicago White Sox are the worst team in the American League, and so the best part of September is going to be Dog Day. At the GarField tonight, fans got to see a bunch of good boys who unfortunately support a very bad team....
Ian Happ's Bat Rebels And Humiliates Him
Sick of being swung through the air at high speeds and getting smashed against rushing white orbs, Ian Happ’s bat finally got a bit of revenge tonight, tripping up its owner as he tried to run out a grounder....
Former Colorado Assistant Joe Tumpkin's Ex-Girlfriend Sues Over School's Failure To Report Abuse Allegations
Pamela Fine, the ex-girlfriend of former Colorado University assistant football coach Joe Tumpkin, is suing him in district court alongside several athletic department officials and school administrators. It has been almost nine months since she first came to head football coach Mike MacIntyre with ...
South American World Cup Qualifying Is Dope As Hell
For most of the world’s elite national teams, qualifying for the World Cup is a charade. Sure, Spain and Germany and the other powerhouses have to earn their places into the world’s biggest sporting event, but because those countries are so reliably great, they can generally nab their spot without t...
Petra Kvitova's Drop Shot Was Ruthless
Tuesday’s quarterfinal collision between two great storylines—Venus Williams still rolling through Slams at age 37, and Petra Kvitova returning to the tour from a knife attack that severely injured her playing hand—grew tense in the third set, and perhaps peaked with this one shot, a highlight of th...
Red Sox Bosses Don't Like It When You Call Them To Chat About The Team's Sign-Stealing Scheme<em></em>
This morning, a day after news broke that the Red Sox allegedly used technology to steal signs from the Yankees, I called up executives from both teams to ask about how the smartwatch-assisted, sign-stealing operation came to be and what they thought would and should happen next....
Bucs-Dolphins Game Postponed Due To Hurricane Irma
The NFL has postponed this Sunday’s game between the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Miami Dolphins because Hurricane Irma is expected to make landfall in Florida sometime this weekend....
Bryce Harper, What The Hell???
Bryce Harper’s hair has already generated much more discourse than any baseball player’s hair reasonably should. That is, in all likelihood, about to get much worse. He posted the following picture on his Instagram story this evening during the Nationals’ game against the Marlins: ...
![Willson Contreras Slides Into Mia Khalifa's DMs, Refuses To Leave [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/meqm87ivmrokbc8p4yq9.jpg)
Willson Contreras Slides Into Mia Khalifa's DMs, Refuses To Leave [Update]
Cubs catcher Willson Contreras has been on the disabled list with a strained hamstring since August 9. He has apparently spent some of that time in the DMs of former porn star Mia Khalifa, seemingly undeterred by the lack of encouraging response. But if the 25-year-old had still been unclear on whet...
Mike Leach Discusses Bigfoot, Aliens In Enlightening Press Conference
A hearty thank you to whoever selected “do you believe in Bigfoot? what about aliens?” as the fan-submitted question of the week for Mike Leach’s press conference yesterday, because the resulting answer was wonderful. The Washington State football coach hopes that Bigfoot exists but does not believe...
Willian's Volleyed Banger Puts Brazil Up On Colombia
Brazil and Colombia are playing right now in what will hopefully be tonight’s only competitive World Cup qualifying match, and Willian—owner of the sporting world’s best afro since Randy Moss’s—thumped the snot out of the ball en route to scoring this beauty:...
Grizzlies Coach David Fizdale On His Activism: "I Want People To Be Uncomfortable"
Grizzlies coach David Fizdale spoke with TNT’s David Aldridge this weekend, and he got into the history of Memphis, the need for solidarity, and why he won’t stop fighting for justice. ...
Outfielder Leonys Martin Makes Cubs Debut As Pitcher
When Joe Maddon looked at his bullpen depth chart in the eighth inning of yesterday’s blowout against the Pirates, he somehow settled on recently acquired center fielder Leonys Martin....
A Letter To Juan Martin Del Potro From A Guy Who Gave Up Too Early
QUEENS, N.Y.—Sir, I am sorry that I missed your U.S. Open tennis match on Monday evening. I missed it because I saw the first two sets and you looked dead in the water, an expression I’d assumed was about fish until looking it up last night and learning it had to do with boats. Anyway, down 6-1, 6-2...
Dolphins-Bucs Game May Have To Be Moved To Avoid Category 5 Hurricane Irma
Hurricane Irma was upgraded this morning to a category 5 storm, the most intense on the Saffir-Simpson Scale, meaning it has maximum sustained winds greater than 157 mph. There is, as always, a lot of uncertainty in its long-term forecast—but as of now, many models have it headed right for South Flo...