hi Page 929 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chris Christie Gets Razzed By Cubs Fan, Leans In For Awkward Scolding
The Chris Christie humiliation spiral continued today with the fully-inflated Violet Beauregarde-looking New Jersey governor getting right into the face of a Cubs fan at today’s Cubs-Brewers game in Milwaukee:...
Brewers Ball Boy Ranges Right For The Heroic Diving Grab
Hey, look at this ball boy laying out to make the sliding stop on a foul ball in today’s Brewers-Cubs tilt:...
Kyrie Irving Spotted In Video Of Steph Curry Mocking LeBron James
Here is a short video of Steph Curry doing a funny-looking pantomime of what looks like someone working out:...
Derrick Jones Jr. Drive-By-Dunked Over An Unsuspecting Human Man
Here is create-a-player-with-a-99-in-vertical Derrick Jones Jr. of the Phoenix Suns rudely leaping over a puny mortal in a particularly vicious entry in the Drive-By Dunk Challenge: ...
Mets Trade Prospects For Bullpen Help, Because Now They're Buyers?
The NL East played a little role-player musical chairs Friday: the Phillies, owners of the worst record in all of baseball, sent outfielder Howie Kendrick to the Nationals for 21-year-old lefty pitching prospect McKenzie Mills; and the Mets, currently 13.5 games back of the Nationals in the division...
White Sox Attempt To Lure Fans Using Cheap Cased Meat
Having only won a single game in their last 13, culminating in three straight losses to the Chicago Cubs, the Chicago White Sox are struggling to attract fans to the ballpark. Perhaps having intuited that a .111-hitting Yoan Moncada, Alen Hanson, David Holmberg, and Whothefuckis Thatguy aren’t going...
Here Come The Cubs, Ready To Murder The Brewers
Fresh off being tagged by a record-tying number of dingers Thursday against the Nationals, the Milwaukee Brewers—losers in nine of their last 11 games—return home hoping to avoid a serious ass-kicking at the hands of the red-hot Chicago Cubs, who come into town leading the division for the first tim...
Scottish Soccer Team Launches Investigation To Find Horny Twitter User
Fans often go to the Twitter accounts of soccer teams to watch video of someone scoring. That’s nothing surprising. But when followers of Scottish Premiership club Inverness Caledonian Thistle looked at the team Twitter account’s list of favorited tweets, they saw an entirely different sort of scori...
Floyd Mayweather, Jr. Vs. Conor McGregor Is The Second-Biggest Possible Fuck-You
I’ve never seen Conor McGregor fight. I don’t watch or care about MMA. That’s not a statement about, or condemnation of, McGregor or MMA; it speaks only to my own preferences and biases....
<i>Sports Illustrated </i>Publishes Story Based On Bogus Report From Fake Pat Forde Twitter Account
Just before midnight tonight, Sports Illustrated published a story about Chip Kelly being considered for the head coaching position left open at Ole Miss after Hugh Freeze’s resignation last week. One problem—the report that their story was based on was fabricated, courtesy of a fake Pat Forde accou...
Curtis Granderson Tries To Prevent Lucas Duda Trade
Mets first baseman Lucas Duda was traded to the Tampa Bay Rays today in exchange for reliever Drew Smith. The Mets are nine games out of the second wild card spot, so it makes sense for them to be sellers before the trade deadline....
Things Anthony Scaramucci Said In The Interview Where He Talked About Steve Bannon Sucking His Own Cock, Ranked<em></em>
Anthony Scaramucci, a finance guy or something who doesn’t seem to understand anything about being a press flack, called the New Yorker’s Ryan Lizza last night and ethered every one of his White House enemies in one of the greatest and most surreal interviews in American political history. Here are ...
Please, For The Love Of All That Is Holy And Football-Shaped, Do Not Ruin <i>Hey Arnold</i>
These days I watch my toddler nephews and nieces watch YouTube videos of adults unboxing and playing with toys for children, and wonder what level of the brain meme I’m living on. Sometimes I poke and probe—what could be interesting about this? Why is watching this more fun than playing with the ver...
White House Alters Transcript To Clarify That The President Is Actually Really Good At Golf
During new White House flack Anthony Scaramucci’s introductory press conference, he bragged that his famously exercise-averse and bulbous boss was in fact a sports genius, capable of throwing “a dead spiral through a tire,” “swishing foul shots” in a suit, and sinking, uh, three-foot putts....
Nationals Sock Five Goddamn Dingers In Six At-Bats
It’s a good day to be a Nationals fan and a very, very bad day to be a Brewers pitcher. The Nationals hit eight home runs in their first four innings today; five of those home runs were off Michael Blazek in the span of six at-bats in the bottom of the third....
LaVar Ball Circus Interrupted By Basketball Game<em></em>
Now that Lonzo Ball is safely on the Lakers, the Lavar Ball media circus has finally started to slow down a bit. A month ago, he was hawking merch and jumping around on WWE Raw; lately, he’s mostly been in the news for an NBA player telling him to fuck off and for throwing a tantrum at his son’s AAU...
Union Player Wins Argument To Take Penalty, Misses It<em></em>
The Philadelphia Union beat the Columbus Crew 3-0 last night, but it wasn’t without a bit of drama — from its own players....
Giancarlo Stanton Got Sweet Revenge On Jason Grilli
On Tuesday night, Rangers reliever Jason Grilli struck out Giancarlo Stanton to end the game, securing a 10-4 victory for his team. Grilli was pumped:...
A Beautiful Jozy Altidore Free Kick Gave The USMNT A Short-Lived Lead
Jozy Altidore was in a bit of a slump, having not scored for the USMNT since September of 2016. But suddenly, he’s on fire, with two goals in fewer than 90 minutes across the past two games....
Inside-The-Park Grand Slam Salvaged By <em></em>Worst Tag Attempt Ever
J.P. Crawford—a Phillies shortstop prospect currently playing with the AAA Lehigh Valley IronPigs—smacked an inside-the-park grand slam tonight. That in itself is a rare feat, but it was made even more unbelievable by some bizarre action at the plate when Crawford came in to score....