hi Page 947 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
White Sox Create Hellish Artifact
Why an alarm clock that wakes you up by having Hawk Harrelson scream “You can put it on the board ... YESSSS!” at you exists I just can’t tell you, though Paul Skrbina of the Chicago Tribune has reported that we came close to living in a reality where the clock yelled “You gotta be bleepin’ me!” at ...
This Video Of Rashard Mendenhall Doing Karate On A Tether Ball Is Actually Good
The great Sean Gentille of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette has alerted us to the existence of a highly enjoyable video that can be found on the Twitter feed of former Steelers and Cardinals running back Rashard Mendenhall....
Zack Greinke Is Back To Humiliating Men At The Plate<em></em>
There’s no player in baseball—and maybe all of sports—quite like Zack Greinke. The man is a machine: efficient on the field, serious and direct off it, and constantly experimenting. He’s lost around five miles per hour off his fastball over the years, but Greinke on a night when he’s going well is s...
Phillies Fan Makes Diving Catch, Gives Charming Interview
In the sixth inning of last night’s game between the Phillies and Rockies, Freddy Galvis fouled a Jeff Hoffman fastball into the second deck behind home plate. That’s where Josh Persing, owner of a Brad Lidge jersey and a thick Philly accent, was waiting to pounce....
White Sox Announcers Have Inane Conversation
Chicago White Sox announcer Steve Stone has been one of the best color men in baseball for decades, and for half the year—the half he spends calling Sox home games with Jason Benetti—he remains one. During the other half of the year, which he spends calling Sox road games with Hawk Harrelson, he bec...
Jim Harbaugh Delivers Newborn Calf Into The World
What does Jim Harbaugh love? Cows. He loves cows. Consider the following:...
Nick Ritchie Tags Viktor Arvidsson With The Mark Of The Beast<em></em>
Viktor Arvidsson headed to the bench bearing a crimson R upon his forehead after being boarded by Anaheim’s Nick Ritchie. That’s great, but let us know when one of the Russian guys pulls this off in Cyrillic. ...
An Absurdly Late Equalizer Saved The United States At The U-20 World Cup
The U.S. U-20 team is currently in South Korea for the U-20 World Cup. They are in a decently tough group with Ecuador, Saudi Arabia, and Senegal, and they kicked things off against Ecuador early this morning....
An Attempt At Untangling The Legend Of Madison Bumgarner Dating A Girl Named Madison Bumgarner
Madison Bumgarner, the larger-than-life ace of the San Francisco Giants, carries the backstory of the hero in a tall tale. He began chewing tobacco in the fifth grade; he got married in blue jeans; he chopped up a rattlesnake with an axe and saved the two baby bunnies he found inside. But one story ...
High School Baseball Player Achieves Impressive Height On Bat Flip
The Gloucester Catholic (New Jersey) baseball team lost to St. Augustine Prep in the Diamond Classic finals on Sunday, but Gloucester Catholic did at least get this big-ass dinger from Chris Turco:...
Kevin Love Threw A Perfect Touchdown Pass
Hi, did you watch Game 3? We all definitely did. I’m sure you did too. So there’s no need for you to watch these replays of Kevin Love’s full-court outlet pass to LeBron James, which you are totally not seeing for the first time. (And don’t sleep on James’s box-out of Marcus Smart; Smart had no opti...
Golf Fan Goes To Town On His Own Nipples
Some people require certain methods to get titillated. For this fan, it’s watching Billy Horschel at the Byron Nelson Classic....
Zippy The ’Roo Is Missing!
Actually, multiple versions of Zippy the kangaroo are missing....
Zaza Pachulia Partially Blames Gregg Popovich For Spurs Fans Threatening His Children
The Spurs were probably not going to win the West, no matter what. But they definitely were not going to win the West after Kawhi Leonard sprained his ankle in Game 1 when he landed on a closing-out Zaza Pachulia. Leonard tried to gut it out for a couple of minutes; he hasn’t played since, and is qu...
Celtics Win On Avery Bradley Last-Second Three
What looked to be another NBA conference final blowout turned into a shocking Celtics win after Boston erased a 20-point deficit and beat the Cavaliers in Cleveland on Avery Bradley’s last-second three-pointer....
Today's Ottawa-Pittsburgh Highlights, As Called By Wrestling Legend "J.R." Jim Ross
The Penguins took a 3-2 series lead on Ottawa today with a 7-0 obliteration. Here are the highlights of that very exciting game, as called by pro wrestling legend Jim “J.R.” Ross....
Brewers Stir A Little Beef By Suggesting That Cubs Called Rainout For Reason Other Than Rain
A few hours before the scheduled first pitch, the Cubs called to reschedule yesterday afternoon’s game against the Brewers due to rain. But when the original game time rolled around, it was no longer raining—and things stayed pretty dry for the rest of the day. An ordinary display of caution by the ...
All Hell Breaks Loose As Corner Man Attacks Opposing Boxer, Spectators Brawl
Tonight’s interim IBF World super middleweight title bout between José Uzcátegui and Andre Dirrell ended in bizarre fashion, with Dirrell earning a win by DQ after being knocked out by Uzcategui by a punch the referee determined to have come after the bell to end the eighth round. That was weird eno...
Reports: White Sox Sign Cuban Top Prospect Luis Robert
The White Sox are finishing up a deal with Cuban top prospect Luis Robert worth more than $25 million, as first reported by Ken Rosenthal of FOX Sports and confirmed by several others. The team will have to pay more than $20 million in overage taxes for surpassing their international bonus pool, as ...
J.R. Smith Finishes Off Cavs' Historic <em></em>First-Half Blowout With Incredible Buzzer-Beater
Isaiah Thomas insisted yesterday that the Cavs are “not the Monstars.” A 72-31 first half decapitation sure would seem to disagree with his assessment. LeBron James was transparently fucking around, playing center for long stretches and ripping through the Celtics like cheap toilet paper for 22 poin...