Houston Astros Page 29 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
George H.W. Bush Quiets Any Excitement Anyone Was Able To Muster For MLB All-Star Game
This may also mark the first time in H.W.'s 86 years on earth that he has uttered the phrase "dot-com." Go, Astros....
Here's Video Of A Field-Hopping Fan Eluding Astros Security
What's being dubbed "The Great Fan Escape" went down in the bottom of the ninth inning as Houston Astro Carlos Lee was trying to tie the game against the Mets. Both Lee and on-field security charged with keeping the Minute Maid Park field invader-free failed to do so....
<i>NYDN</i>: "Blah blah blah blah rain blah blah blah Niese blah blah Astros blah blah Mets got spanked."
New York Daily News scribe Andy Martino has written a game story that speaks for every fan of the 2011 Mets. What it lacks in rhetorical fluency it makes up for in, uh, truth. This isn't an editing error, although it may look that way at first blush. The Mets have reached the summit of suck....
The Good, The Bad, And The Doughnuts
Good: At fan appreciation day in October, Astros fan Bob Choate won a year's supply of free doughnuts from Shipley's Do-Nuts....
Guy Who Won A Year's Worth Of Doughnut-Shop Coupons From The Astros Whines About The Tax Bill
When Bob Choate won a year's supply of coupons from Shipley's Do-Nuts at Astros Fan Appreciation Day in October, he "went up to the customer service window, fat, dumb and happy, and signed a form and picked up a fistful of certificates." Well, last month, the tax bill for free gluttony arrived. He ...
Soccer Mistress Is <em>Not</em> Gonna Be Ignored
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Chivalry Is Dead: Man Ducks Foul Ball Before It Hits Girlfriend
You've got three options when confronted with a liner: catch it, protect your seatmates, or dive for cover as it ricochets off the woman you love. Astros fan Bo chose that last one....
Houston Astros: The Charming Incompetence Of Ed Wade
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Houston Astros....
Shawn Chacon Even Worse At Gambling Than He Was At Pitching
Las Vegas authorities have issued an arrest warrant for former Astro Shawn Chacon, after he allegedly passed $150,000 worth of bad checks at Caesar's Palace. Even worse, he always tries to split face cards. [Las Vegas Sun]...
Houston Astros Fire Their "Manager"
With 13 games to go in their dismal season, the Astros—an alleged "base ball" team from Houston—have fired manager Cecil Cooper. In other news, Cecil Cooper was apparently managing the Astros this season! [Houston Chronicle]...
Aaron Boone Plays Baseball, Heart Doesn't Explode
The guy had open heart surgery in March, but was in the lineup for the Astros yesterday. Oh-for-3, but he did make a nifty play in the field. And his aorta is still intact, so that's a plus. [MLB.com]...
Rangers Welcome Ivan Rodriguez Back Into Their Pudgy Arms
Houston puts the Rangers' old catcher on a bus to Arlington, receive two prospects in return, and Texas fans get a daily reminder that old age will someday leave them a broken shell of their former selves. [Dallas Morning News]...
Nationals And Pirates Combine To Make Pretty Decent Baseball Team
Houston and Washington had some unfinished business yesterday, wrapping up a suspended game that took two months, two cities and three teams to complete. And the winning pitcher got the decision while taking a nap in Philadelphia....
Gentle, Velvety Hammer Of Justice Falls In Miguel Tejada Steroids Case
Astros star gets one year's probation, $5,000 fine for "misleading congress." Wait a minute; don't they do that to each other every minute they're in session? [San Francisco Chronicle]...
The Houston Astros Politely Reject Bud Selig's Apology
When Hurricane Ike rained on the party inside Minute Maid Park in Houston last weekend, Bud Selig infamously made the Astros play two games at a "neutral site", Milwaukee's Miller Park. As you can imagine, this was not well received in the Astros' clubhouse. Houston, which had been red hot prior to...
Ike Wreaks Havoc With Baseball Playoff Races, Scheduling
The NFL isn’t the only league effected by that bastard Ike as the Astros and Major League Baseball have agreed to move two of Houston’s canceled home games that were scheduled against the Cubs this weekend to a “neutral” site in Milwaukee. Eddie Wade’s Astros have been on fire over the past three we...
No Way Will The Cubs Blow It This Time ... Uh Oh
Time to worry: When your team has lost four straight at home during the stretch run of the division race. Time to really worry: When your manager says "If he can pitch, he'll pitch. If he can't, we'll put Sean Marshall in the rotation." Those words of wisdom were spoken by Lou Piniella, after Carlos...
Shawn Chacon Is Now Looking For Work
Time is running out to claim Shawn Chacon on waivers! Act now, and you will receive one slightly used Major League pitcher, ERA just above 5.00, with a tendency to throttle when perturbed. Buy it now price: $2 million. Chacon was put on waivers Thursday by the Houston Astros, one day after and unfor...
Shawn Chacon's Guide To Punching Your Boss In The Face
You know what baseball needs more of? Physical fistfights between general managers and players. Imagine the fisticuffs that would ensue between Jon Daniels and Milton Bradley. Jim Bowden and Elijah Dukes. Heavens, Theo Epstein and David Ortiz. We might buy a pay-per-view of that....
Miguel Tejada Homers For The Sick Kids
We know that Miguel Tejada is supposed to be Public Enemy Number Uno these days — "E-60" certainly thinks so — but he had his Superhero moment this weekend, hitting a home run he'd promised to a kid with muscular dystrophy....