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Elderly Samuel Eto'o Bashes Mourinho, Plans To Play As <em>Actual</em> Old Man
Samuel Eto'o is in the Ivory Coast today in support of the Copa Coca Cola, an international youth tournament. In an interview before the event, he had some choice words for the "fool" José Mourinho and anyone else who wants to fuck with Hollywood Court....

Dan Bylsma Was Doomed By His Roster, Not His Coaching
Changes are coming in Pittsburgh but they're not going to be the right ones. After the Penguins punted a 3-1 series lead and home Game 7 to the Rangers, you can bet any amount of money you like that coach Dan Bylsma will be fired. Only because it's easier to fire a coach than it is to find six decen...

The 2013-14 Premier League Season Was Well And Truly Fucking Awesome
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. There was pessimism, hope, and ultimately failure. There was schadenfreude; oh, was there schadenfreude. There were also huge games, mesmerizing goals, and more twists in the title race than a M. Night Shyamalan movie (but actually good). To cap o...

Anaheim's Ducklings Have Them On The Verge Of An Incredible Comeback
There's nothing quite like hockey players to make you feel old. Even if you're a hockey player yourself....

Soccer-Loving Grandma Does Not Appreciate Her Grandkids' Prank
Some mischevious Man City supporters decided that it would be fun to trick their grandma into thinking that City had scored an early goal during its title-clinching game against West Ham yesterday. Granny did not appreciate their shenanigans....

The Minnesota Wild Are Learning The Hard Way: You Can't Buy A Cup
When the Minnesota Wild made the only real splash in team history by signing the top two free agents of the Class of 2012, people thought it would usher in a change for the troubled franchise. They were right. Instead of just missing the postseason, the Wild are primed to bow out early in the playof...

Sidney Crosby Reaches The Boiling Point
If these playoffs will be remembered for anything, it'll be for players squirting each other with water bottles and spearing each other in the nuts. Last night's Game 6 between the Rangers and Penguins had one of each, both focusing on a frustrated, frustrating Sidney Crosby....

Henrik Lundqvist Subtly Sprays Water On Sidney Crosby While Skating By
Water bottles are the latest method of harassing opponents in the NHL, apparently....

Martin St. Louis Plays After Mother's Death
Soon after landing in Pittsburgh on Thursday, Martin St. Louis learned that his mother had unexpectedly died from a heart attack. St. Louis flew back to New York to meet up with his family, and then flew to Montreal to be with his father. He then flew back to Pittsburgh on Friday and played in New Y...

Eagles Fan Attends Draft, Passes Out Before Philly Even Picks
We issued a call for evidence after Dan Wetzel reported a Jets fan was passed out in the Radio City Music Hall bathroom. Turns out it's an Eagles fan. ...

The Pirates Win MLB's First Walk-Off Video Review
With two outs in the ninth in a tie ball game, Starling Marte tripled off the right field wall, and came home on a throwing error on the relay. He was called out at the plate. A year ago, this game would have gone to extra innings. But thanks to replay review, the Pirates got to enjoy some delayed g...

Sidney Crosby Finally Scored. Will Rick Nash Before It's Too Late?
When Sidney Crosby scored early in the second period last night, his reaction was noteworthy. Here was the best player in the world celebrating a breakaway goal like someone who hadn't done this in the playoffs 40 previous times....

Shovel Girl Is Doing Just Fine, You Guys
Yesterday, the world got to meet Shovel Girl, the star of the greatest eight minutes in YouTube history. But many were left wondering about Shovel Girl's well-being, due to the fact that she got hit in the head with a shovel. It looks like she's doing just fine....

Idiot Father Shakes His Baby Around While Diving To Catch A Home Run
In fairness to this dad, on the list of things that you should not do while holding a baby, "diving into a scrum on the stadium floor for a home run ball" trails other modern parenting pratfalls, like using a chainsaw, or being thrown into the sun. Still, this seems ill-considered. ...

Crossbar Keeps Rangers Scoreless; Marc-André Fleury Shows It Some Love
The Rangers have hit the post or crossbar three times tonight, and remain scoreless through most of two periods. The Penguins have done it twice, but they've also hit the net twice for a 2-0 lead. After Mats Zuccarello hit the crossbar halfway through the second period, a thankful Fleury was seen ru...

This Girl Fight Is The Best Comedy And Action Movie Of The Year
There's a Vine going around the internet today of a girl hitting another girl in the head with a flying shovel. It's hilarious. It's also taken from an eight-minute YouTube video of a fight between the two girls, which also happens to be one of the best pieces of American cinema you will ever lay ey...

He's Steel-Belted, But Still Needs Suspenders
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Let's Watch Evgeni Malkin Get A Lap Dance (NSFW)
It's Sunday. Here's an undated video of Evgeni Malkin getting a lap dance....

Adrien Broner: "I Just Beat The Fuck Out Of A Mexican"
A bored-looking Adrien Broner defeated Carlos Molina by unanimous decision tonight, and the always-trolling boxer had more words tonight that left Jim Gray scrambling. ...