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Is <em>USA Today</em>'s Veteran Gambling Guy Buying Twitter Followers?
Remember our old friend Sarah Phillips, the internet huckster and former ESPN columnist? One of her many tricks, we learned, was to buy followers on Twitter—a new scheme for a new era. The more followers you have, the more influence you can claim to have. In a monetized social-media landscape, the T...

What Happened To John Van Benschoten? The Former Pirates Pitching Prospect Laments The Hitting Career He Never Had
John Van Benschoten, the Pirates' first-round pick (eighth overall) in 2001, didn't have a good big-league career. In 90 innings of work spread over three seasons, Van Benschoten, mostly as a starter, racked up 65 strikeouts against 68 walks and a 9.20 ERA. We ranked him 76th on our list of the 100...

This Video Of An Old Crimson Tide Fan Lip-Synching "Call Me Maybe" Is The Most Discomforting Thing Ever
From tipster William, with whom we will be forever angry with due to what he has exposed us to, comes the above video. The video depicts an elderly gentleman lip-synching to "Call Me Maybe," which is A Thing on YouTube these days, but this version goes beyond "Oh man this song is so stupid and ann...

Evgeni Malkin Tweet Fish Catch Best
A couple of weeks back, Phoenix Coyotes enforcer Paul "Biz Nasty" Bissonnette turned us on to the Twitter charms of Pittsburgh Penguins center Evgeni Malkin, who knows best because he's best....

Throbbing Pipes And Pussy By The Can: Scenes From Laconia Bike Week
It is never truly silent during Laconia Bike Week. Even when you're far from the Finger Eleven or Nickelback songs playing at Weirs Beach (the heart of the event), or from the profanity dropping out of the mouths of bearded dudes with skin almost as leathery as the vests they're wearing, there is st...

The U.S. Open Trophy Ceremony Videobomber Is A Deforestation Activist Named "Jungle Bird"
The roosterlike fellow who invaded last night's U.S. Open trophy ceremony and earned a scolding from champion Webb Simpson has been identified as a kooky deforestation activist named "Jungle Bird."...

Webb Simpson Wins U.S. Open, Has Trophy Ceremony Invaded By Squawking British Man
Webb Simpson seized his first major title on a U.S. Open Sunday rife with errors in play by all competitors. At times, it looked more like the Albert Achievement Awards than a professional golf tournament, but by far the weirdest moment came after play ended when a man garbed in Union Jack colors...

Arena Football Player Has Best Excuse Ever For Why His Apartment Caught On Fire
"Kevin Marcus Ellison of the Spokane Shock claims he was told by God to torch his apartment with a marijuana blunt." Happens to the best of us....

Evgeni Malkin Is Best
Penguins center Evgeni Malkin might have been the best player in the NHL this year, playoffs aside. He knows what it's like to be the best. Best recognize best. So, keep in mind, when he exchanges messages with Phoenix Coyotes enforcer and Twitter superstar Paul "Biz Nasty" Bissonnette, Malkin is pr...

The Twins Couldn't Even Give Jeff Manship A Jersey With His Name Spelled Correctly
Poro Jffe Mansihp. Hs'e bene ni teh Minnestoa orginzatoin sinec 2006, adn hs'e boucned bakc adn forht bewteen teh minros adn teh Twisn sinec maknig hsi bgi-leauge deubt ni '09. Hee wsa juts callde upp fro teh firts tiem thsi seasno Mya 27, adn lsat nihgt wsa hsi firts appearacne ni na awya gaem, os ...

Why Did A Pittsburgh Newspaper Remove A Reference To Sidney Crosby's Contract Demands From Its Website?
Toward the end of a story published Monday about the Penguins' trade with the Capitals for goaltender Tomas Vokoun, the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review did a roundup of the Pens' offseason priorities, including their upcoming negotiations to extend Sidney Crosby's contract, which expires after next season...

Behold Shin-Kicking, An Actual Competitive Sport In England
Says The Daily Mirror: "The rules of shin kicking are very simple. Kick your opponent to the ground and you win. No throwing, tripping or pulling—the 'fall' must be precipitated by a kick to the shins." Very well....

An Idiot On The Field In Detroit Today Tried To High-Five Nick Swisher
The final out of today's Yankees-Tigers matchup at Comerica Park was delayed by a (fully-clothed) fan who took advantage of lax/slow/forgiving security and roamed around the field for close to a minute....

Hulk Hogan Retweeted Gentleman Because He "Went Balls Deep" On His Daughter Brooke
Generally speaking, the practice of asking for a retweet should be frowned upon as the last resort of the pathetic, but there are exceptions to every rule. One need not look any further than this masterpiece of random craziness....

Soccer Fan Invades Pitch, Joins Match, Scores Goal
Most pitch invaders (and Idiots On The Field in general) earn a quick bouncing by security officials, but that isn't what happened Wednesday night in Montenegro as a supporter of FK Budućnost Podgorica leapt onto the field in the final moments of his side's league-clinching match against FK Lovćen...

The Mystery Behind DeShawn Stevenson's Kitchen ATM Is Solved
Three days ago, the world was rocked by the Instagrammic revelation that one DeShawn Stevenson of the Brooklyn Nets has what appears to be an ATM in his kitchen. Now, TMZ has finally gotten to the bottom of the mystery of why anyone would possibly want an actual, dive bar-worthy ATM in his house. Th...

This Is The Most Terrifying Girls Lacrosse Photo You Will Ever See
Some piping hot Connecticut girls lacrosse scores to bring you: Darien beat Guilford 15-4 in the first round of the class M state tournament despite their head coach's suspension. (I'm from Guilford and could have told you that would happen—we, like Darien, are an old shoreline town of approximately...

Fan Sues Pittsburgh Penguins For Sending Him Too Many Text Messages
The Pittsburgh Penguins figure to have a pretty busy offseason. They have to shore up their defense even though they're stuck with Paul Martin's hefty contract. On July 1, they can begin to negotiate new deals with Sidney Crosby and Jordan Staal, whose current pacts expire after next season. And, li...

Was This (Presumably Yankees) Fan Announcing Plans To Divorce His Wife On-Camera At Last Night's Game?
Last night reader Ron alerted us to a bizarre moment during last night's Yankees-Angels game when a fan behind the New York dugout flips the bird to the camera, removes his wedding ring, then flips the bird again. We're presuming he's a Yankees fan because of his seat location and the fact that he...

Cops Take Down Pitch Invader With A Tackle Worthy Of Drawing A Yellow Card
A fan who rushed onto FedEx Field to celebrate Brazil's late goal to secure a 4-1 win over the United States in last night's friendly match found himself on the receiving end of what can only be called a clattering tackle....