hp Page 97 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Oh Look, Victor Conte's Handing Out Supplements Again
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Marlon Byrd will take anything Conte gives him....

Rinku And Dinesh Are Coming To A Crappy Disney Movie Near You
Disney has hired screenwriter Tom McCarthy to write the script for "Million Dollar Arm," the inspiring story of two young Indian men who won a reality show and then got signed by the most miserable team in the major leagues. Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel requested in 2009 that we not equate their sto...

Sidney Crosby's Season Might Or Might Not Be Over
Sidney Crosby got to talking about his recovery from last month's concussion. He said he hopes to come back this season, but can't say for sure whether he will....

The Most Pirates Story Ever: Pittsburgh Loses Arbitration Case Against 1-11 Pitcher
Yeah, we know arbitration is about more than one isolated season, and Ross Ohlendorf is better than that record would suggest. Still, this doesn't happen to any other team. [Post-Gazette]...

Two Minutes Of Matt Cooke Cheap Shots
He's the kind of player you love if he's on your team. But for the fans of the 29 other fanbases, here's a highlight reel of Cooke's greatest hits to peruse while he sits out the next four games....

The Pittsburgh Paper's Solution For Shut Out Super Bowl Fans Is One Big Conflict Of Interest
Yesterday, an unsigned editorial ran in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, decrying the NFL's offer of compensation to those fans whose Super Bowl seats were unavailable, and demanding that the league pay them as much as $50,000 each. The editorial failed to mention that one of the people affected by the ...

Here's The Director's Cut Video Of A Brawl At Chuck E. Cheese's
Seizing the momentum from the Orangeburg (SC) "I Ride The Ride" brawl, tipster John C. forwarded what he deemed "epic" footage of some fisticuffs at the Beaumont, Texas Chuck E. Cheese....

Could This IHOP Brawl Put "I Ride The Ride" On The Catch-Phrase Map? (NSFW)
There's a lot going on in this two-minute piece of artistry from the IHOP in Orangeburg, S.C. on Saturday. Drinks being thrown. Canes being swung. Gibberish being yelled. And, a chilling effect being felt....

Man Defecates In Store, Steals Candy, Leaves Dirty Undies, And Lashes Out At Schoolchildren
A 45-year-old Swede walks into a store in Finspång, says to the cashier, he's really, really gotta go. Female cashier says health regulations prevent her from allowing him to do so in the employees' WC. So, what'd he do?...

Penguins Fan Faceplants Onto A Van
It's early, but I think this Winter Classic tailgating video will satisfy our "drunken hockey fans injuring themselves" quota for the day....

Sidney Crosby Was Concussed, But When?
Crosby sat out last night after suffering a concussion from a hit in Wednesday's game. Bad news for the Penguins, but it could be worse news if rumors are true, and he was injured on Sunday, and played with a concussion....

The Wannstache Will Not Return
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: "Please, Dave!" they all cried. But still no....

Barry Melrose Needs A Beer, And Other Observations From The Behatted And Be-Styxed Winter Classic
Our puckhead has returned from Pittsburgh with inside information on Dan Bylsma's hat, an autographed photo of Styx, and the lasting image of Barry Melrose waiting in beerless frustration at the bar....

NHL Winter Classic Report: HOCKEY!
Our puckhead Katie Bakes is dicking around scenic Pittsburgh for the NHL Winter Classic. She has filed the following icy report....

I'm Kind Of Starting To Enjoy Sidney Crosby, And Other Random <em>NHL 24/7</em> Observations
Last night was the second of four HBO 24/7: Penguins/Capitals: The Road to the Winter Classic episodes. Here, a few thoughts more disjointed than Matt Hendricks's face....

Breaking Down The Pens' And Caps' Gameplans, As Captured By <em>24/7</em> Cameras
Justin Bourne does a bang-up job of analyzing what we (and HBO's cameras) saw on the whiteboards in the Capitals and Penguins' respective locker rooms....

Polish Fans Break Out The Flares For Five-A-Side Under-12 Team
We've all been there — in the pub, going round the table, explaining who you support....

Tonight's NHL 24/7 Premiere: "You'll Have To Hide The Kids"
Tonight is the premiere of HBO's straightforwardly-titled series 24/7 Penguins/Capitals: Road to the Winter Classic. Want to know exactly which expletives Bruce Boudreau spat at his Caps during their 7-0 loss to the Rangers on Sunday? Now you will....

For Your Between-Games Entertainment, Video Of A Camel Falling In Church
I feel compelled to share this disclaimer: "No wise men were harmed in the production of this church's Christmas play, nor were any involved in the planning." (H/T Crackerman) ...