hp Page 98 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jose Canseco Officially Entered The End Stages Of Desperation
If you thought the whole "Call me now" development was the limbo lowest, you were wrong. Around 2 a.m. EST, Jose Canseco declared, "I will not give up the dream of playing in the majors again, I just can't."...

Even Back Hair Performance Art Couldn't Save Appalachian State Football
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Sidney Crosby And NHL Special Treatment: Much A-Slew About Nothing?
Last night, Ryan Callahan and Sidney Crosby were jostling for position. Crosby appeared to kick Callahan's skate out from under him. That's called a slew foot, and it's illegal. Callahan was called for interference....

What Objects Are We Putting In Our Rectums?
Let's have some more fun with the Sun-Sentinel's emergency room database, shall we? Here's a list of various objects that in various contexts were lodged in various rectums. Verbatim:...

Crazy NYC Corner Store Fight Is Crazy
NYC bodegas are always good for something. Take this ridiculous fight for example. Somebody owes somebody money, so somebody else throws some shit around, then: pandemonium....

Lonely Jose Canseco Would Like You To Call Him To Talk About His Life
310 862 6309 I am ready for you call me now let's talk.you will be charged a small fee half of it will go to a charity Remember the "charity" is most likely "The Lonely Jose Canseco Fund." [Twitter]...

Young Philip Rivers Did Not Make Funny Faces, Apparently Wanted To Play For The Bears
"I discovered I went to elementary school with Phillip [sic] Rivers (he's 2 years older)," wrote commenter Gottliebs Cards. "If anyone is interested I'll scan some pics." Interested? You bet your ass we're mildly kind of halfway interested....

Chinese Football Coach Studies Genitals In Order To Find The Next Messi
We've checked our calendar and apparently it's not April 1st for a while yet. Still, that hasn't stopped Chinese newspaper Yangtze Evening Post running a story on a new scouting method for young Chinese football stars — genital assessment....

Prep Schoolers Up In Arms Over Plebeian Reporter Pointing Out That Their Crappy Football Team Sucks
The Sidwell Friends football team has been outscored 373-43 this season. When Washington City Paper columnist Dave McKenna pointed that out, he learned that the school's tony pansies are way feistier on the Internet than they are on the field....

With $110 Million Settlement, Elin Nordegren Can Finally Replace That Busted Car Window
Elin Nordegren reportedly received $110 million in her divorce settlement. That's 11 times more than No. 1 mistress Rachel Uchitel received from No. 2 golfer Tiger Woods. In a just world, it would have been 17 times more. Or 19?...

This Is What Pittsburgh Looks Like When The Pirates Actually Win Something
That's a picture of the bedlam Pittsburgh saw after the Pirates won the 1960 World Series on a walk-off home run by Bill Mazeroski. Yes, ladies dancing in a circle counts as bedlam....

Introducing The Deadspin Intern You'll Inevitably Christen "Femtern"
For all two of you who were wondering, I am the new Deadspin intern. Naturally, I'll be the "Emtern"—you know, Ben, Bentern, Emma, Emtern. But if I know Deadspin at all, I'll probably be remembered as the Femtern....

NYC Already Planning Yankees World Series Parade
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Rays Fans Just Blue Themselves
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Checking Back In With The Guy Who Bet Against The Pirates Every Game
Early in the season, we examined one Bucs fan's foolproof strategy of always betting against the Pirates. Turns out, they were even worse than Vegas knew. A 9.98 percent ROI was his reward....

US Open Brawler Arrested After Tabloid Trash Talk
Joseph Pedevill, best known for beating up old people, was called "an insane nut" by his neighbor in a New York Post story. Pedevill reacted to that by behaving like an insane nut....

N.Y. Daily News Still Pissed At Flyers Fans Who Booed Grizzly Mom
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Today In Sexy Swedish Navy Boat And STD News
"Two Swedish non-commissioned officers have been docked pay for painting a flying penis on a white flag adorning their boat during a naval exercise in the Stockholm archipelago" Also: It's 'Chlamydia Monday' in Sweden. (H/T Swedish correspondent Tom Kolak)...

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Ines Sainz
As you know, Ines Sainz's rough treatment at the hands of the Jets has some crying sexual harassment and others crying no blood, no foul, or something. But what do we really know about her? Let's investigate....

My Name Is Hurricane Earl
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....