i Page 4861 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

French Announcer Absolutely Loses His Shit Calling Melvin Upton Jr.'s Big Dinger [Update]

Zut alors! Le dinger!!!...

Iceland Channel The Power Of Odin, Complete Wild Stoppage-Time Comeback

The mighty Iceland national team trailed Finland by a goal as today’s World Cup qualifying match rolled into stoppage time. Clearly imbued with the power of the Norse gods, they turned it all the way around and left with a 3-2 win....

Here Are The Best And Most Ridiculous Evil Clown Safety Alerts

At this point, “creepy clowns” have been spotted in over a dozen cities, and at least one has supposedly lightly scratched a young boy. Whether or not we’re ready to admit it, our days of being able to walk down the street dressed as an evil jester with a chainsaw are over. Clown Purge has arrived. ...

Matt Drudge Idiotically Suggests Hurricane Matthew Warnings Are Government Conspiracy

As weather experts and emergency-management officials plead with those in the path of Hurricane Matthew to evacuate before it hits Florida, warning of “potentially diastrous impact” including massive storm surges, not only are idiots like Vanilla Ice refusing to listen, but others are encouraging th...

Ireland Player Stretchered Off Pitch After Losing Consciousness In Clash Of Heads

Ireland’s Robbie Brady and Georgia’s Saba Kvirkvelia had a nasty head collision in a World Cup Qualifier today, with the game being delayed a solid five minutes while doctors treated the two players. Brady came out worse, as he lost consciousness for a few seconds and had to be taken off of the pitc...

It’s time for our Tecmo Super Bowl simulation of tonight’s Thursday Night Football matchup between the Cardinals and the 49ers, LIVE:...

Jane Doe Testifies About The Night She Says Derrick Rose Raped Her [Updated]

Jane Doe, the woman who alleges that New York Knicks guard Derrick Rose and two friends raped her in 2013 and is suing them in civil court in Los Angeles, testified today that she doesn’t remember much about that night. She does remember having a lot to drink during the night, several shots of vodka...

LSU-Florida Game Called Off Due To Hurricane Matthew

Saturday’s college football game in Gainesville, Fla. between LSU and Florida has been canceled, with Hurricane Matthew expected to hit the state this weekend....

Angels Pitcher Matt Shoemaker To Consider Wearing Protective Headgear

Angels starter Matt Shoemaker missed the final month of the season after being struck in the head by a 105-mph line drive. He underwent surgery to stop the bleeding in his skull, and is now healthy enough to pitch again. In an interview with Good Morning America, Shoemaker expressed a willingness to...

On Rites Of Passage<em></em>

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here. ...

Chobani Sucks

Just now, I was walking through Union Square and got a free promotional Noosa™ Yogurt, a tasty treat. And what did I get from Chobani? Nothing. Fuck Chobani....

Root For The Indians In The Playoffs<em></em>

Welcome to the American League Central Division, home of the Cleveland Indians. Each year, one team from this division is selected completely at random to compete in the playoffs. If you are a fan of a team in the AL Central, where chaos rules, nothing surprises you. You would not be surprised, for ...

They Let Phil Kessel Visit The White House

The Pittsburgh Penguins brought the Stanley Cup to the White House today, and Phil Kessel took time out of his empty schedule to stop by. He’s had a nice, relaxing offseason....

World Champion Pole Vaulter's Explanation For Positive Cocaine Test Totally Worked, Somehow

World champion pole vaulter Shawnacy Barber tested positive for cocaine after winning the Canadian Olympic trials in July, but was allowed to compete in Rio after an arbitrator ruled that he inadvertently ingested the cocaine while kissing a woman he had solicited for sex on Craigslist the night bef...

Root For The Rangers In The Playoffs

The Texas Rangers finished with a 95-67 record, winning the AL West while nine games clear of the second-place Seattle Mariners. The lack of competition within the division, and thus the lack of a late-season race for the playoffs, may have kept the Rangers mostly off your radar this season. Now’s ...

Here's Some Donald Trump Gossip That We Desperately Want To Be True

For one of the classiest, most luxurious purported billionaires alive, Donald Trump doesn’t exactly have the most refined palate. He seems to prefer McDonald’s, taco bowls, and burnt steaks to any sort of more refined fare, which makes this absolutely phenomenal rumor all the more believable. ...

Soccer Player Gets His Finger All Gnarled To Hell In Freak Accident [WARNING: GRAPHIC]

This is a story of love, of toughness, and a horribly, disgustingly mangled finger. Proceed at your own caution....

Joe Buck's Addiction To Hair-Plug Treatments Almost Ended His Career

Well, there’s a headline I never really expected to write....

I Still Can't Believe Madison Bumgarner Is Real

I’m largely fine with MLB’s play-in game, but there remains something almost cosmically unfair about having to win a one-game series when the opposing team can start Madison Bumgarner. ...