i Page 4870 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
ESPN Runs Memphis Grizzlies Puff Piece Written By Guy The Grizzlies Just Hired<em></em>
This morning, ESPN published a positive and forward-looking profile of new Memphis Grizzlies head David Fizdale, focusing on his first practice yesterday. It was written by veteran NBA writer and ESPNer Michael Wallace—an awfully strange choice considering that last week Wallace announced that he wa...
Trump Kids Can't Seem To Figure Out Why Their Shitty Father's Campaign Is So Shitty<em></em>
Trump’s getting blasted for sexist comments, mocked for his shoddy debate skills, and losing any edge he might have had in the polls. Something is definitely wrong—Trump’s three eldest children know that much. They just can’t for the life of them seem to figure out why....
These Mammals Are Just Straight-Up Murdering Each Other All The Time
One of the more disturbing nature documentaries I’ve ever seen shows a dozen chimpanzees punching, kicking, biting a member of their own troop, chasing him up a tree and leaving him there to slowly die of his wounds over a span of three painful days....
Fernando Torres Does A Fernando Torres
Fernando Torres must’ve felt some kind of way about Edinson Cavani threatening to usurp El Niño’s hard-earned title as The World’s Foremost Sitter-Misser, so he went and did this:...
<i>FIFA</i>'s Skill Games Look Just As Fun In Real Life
Like many a FIFA player, I’ve slaved for hours on those fun but at times maddening little skill games, spending way too much time trying to get golds on everything for absolutely no real benefit. As entertaining/frustrating as that can be, it appears that playing the skills games in real life is eve...
Send Us Your College Roommate Horror Stories
At the risk of doomsaying like some David Brooksian “kids these days” reactionary luddite, it must be said: College now seems crueler than ever before....
Brilliant Shithead Cristiano Ronaldo Had A Brilliant, Shitheaded Game Yesterday
As everyone knows, Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the greatest soccer players of all time. He’s also an obnoxious, petulant brat prone to sneaky acts of outright violence when he feels aggrieved. All sides of CR7 were on display during yesterday’s Real Madrid-Borussia Dortmund match....
Trying To Teach Donald Trump To Debate Sounds Like Hell
According to an article in this morning’s New York Times, Donald Trump’s advisers are hoping to prepare him “more rigorously” for his next showdown with Hillary—or, more to the point, they’re going to try to prepare him. Apparently, teaching Donald Trump to debate as almost as hard as getting an ego...
Antonio Brown Says Refs Threatened To Eject Him For Wearing Cool Shoes
Steelers receiver Antonio Brown has long been one of the few NFL players willing to thumb his nose (or butt, rather) at the NFL’s joy-killing rules against self expression. It seems like the league has finally had enough of Brown daring to have a good time while playing football, though, as he claim...
Brandon Belt On His Friend D.J. LeMahieu: "He's A Nice Guy. I Still Want To Punch Him In The Face."
Giants first baseman Brandon Belt had three hits in his team’s 12-3 demolition of the Colorado Rockies last night, and he would have had four hits if not for the presence of Rockies second baseman D.J. LeMahieu:...
I'm A Little Over The World Cup Of Hockey, I Think
The best-of-three finals of the World Cup of Hockey are not over, but the tournament may as well be. Team Europe played well in their 3-1 Game 1 loss to undefeated Team Canada, but despite being a one-goal game for most of the second and well into the third, this one never really felt that much in d...
Mets Players Made It Up To This Lil' Fan After He Took A Foul Ball To The Arm
Ouch! Cheer up kid, have a signed ball....
Aledmys Díaz Returns From José Fernández's Memorial, Smacks First Career Grand Slam
Cardinals shortstop Aledmys Díaz grew up on the same street as José Fernández in Santa Clara, Cuba, and the two players have been friends since their early childhoods. Fernández said that Diaz’s father and uncle helped get him started playing baseball, and their families are still close. The loss wa...
Some UFC Guy Tries To Diss Conor McGregor, Walks Straight Into Huge Burn
Nate Diaz came at Conor McGregor online this afternoon, and while we laud his utter disdain for the man and commitment to talk smack whenever we can, he still just did some tweets. At the UFC 205 press conference this afternoon, Some UFC Guy tried to diss McGregor to his face by claiming that he did...
Report: J.J. Watt Re-Injured His Back, Possibly Out For The Season
The Texans, who suck, are about to lose their best player. Ian Rapoport of NFL Network reported this evening that fanatical defensive megastar J.J. Watt hurt his back again....
Yankees Fan Proposes Live On Scoreboard, Loses Ring
Here’s a tip for you: If you’re going to do the extremely performative move of proposing to your spouse live on a jumbotron at a sporting event, don’t lose the ring!...
Nebraska Regent Calls For Kneeling Players To Be Kicked Off Team, Then Tries To Deny It
Nebraska player Michael Rose-Ivey held a press conference yesterday and discussed the litany of slurs, threats, and condemnations he and two of his teammates had heard from fans after they kneeled during the national anthem before the Huskers’ game this weekend. Unsurprisingly, there are higher-ups ...
Nate Diaz Is Still Talking Wild Shit About Conor McGregor
Last night, Dana White announced that the main event at November’s UFC 205 in New York City would be a lightweight title fight between Eddie Alvarez and Conor McGregor....