i Page 5008 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Resurrection Of Fernando Torres
Fernando Torres does not suck anymore. It may sound like fairly unremarkable praise to say that a rich and famous professional athlete manages to wring enough competence out of the limbs and lungs that have made him a millionaire dozens of times over to not be actively bad at his job. But for Torres...
Aston Villa Owner Randy Lerner Takes Blame For Relegation
“I write to Villa supporters,” Aston Villa’s widely detested owner (and the Cleveland Browns’ widely detested former owner) Randy Lerner says in an open letter to fans today, “to make clear that this relegation lies at my feet and no one else’s.” Well, you don’t say!...
Cincinnati Reds Twitter Finds Perfect Way To Recap Game They Got No-Hit
When you run the Cincinnati Reds’ Twitter, and the team loses in a 16-0 no-hitter, it’s tough to find a silver lining. But, you have a job to do. Those sad fans need their recap. Thursday’s final result:...
The Case For Having A Joint Bachelor/Bachelorette Party
If you’ve been dreaming of strippers and penis-shaped candy since puberty, clear it with your soon-to-be-spouse (both the specific plans and your marriage priorities) and party on. But allow me to make the case for a combined celebration—yes, a bachelor/bachelorette party wherein the groom and bride...
Daryl Morey Calls Out The Warriors For Dirty Play
The Rockets pulled out a win—even if the bench reacted like they were upset they now have to push back their flight to Cabo another couple of days. But after the game, GM Daryl Morey was sore about a couple of plays that went uncalled, and could have been outright dangerous....
Mourn Prince However You Can, For As Long As You Want
Jesus, this is terrible. Just terrible. Prince is dead. There’s no way to wrap your arms, or your head, around it. Just pick a moment and fixate. Like that time he burned “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” to the ground....
Finally, Patrick Kane
Pushed to the edge of elimination, the Blackhawks haven’t gotten much from their best goalscorers—and the Blues have. Patrick Kane, the NHL’s regular-season points leader, hadn’t found the back of the net through the first four games. Or through three periods of last night’s game. Or in the first ov...
James Harden Game-Winner Sinks Warriors
The Golden State Warriors fought back from a 17-point Rockets lead to take their first lead of the game with just over a minute left. After a crazy back-and-forth that saw Michael Beasley hit two huge free throws, Ian Clark show up as a legit clutch option for the Warriors, and some horrific transit...
NBCSN Cuts Off Pat Foley's Rant About Late NHL Starts
The odd NHL postseason scheduling has resulted in some quirks, including Central time zone games reaching well into the A.M. hours—and that’s ignoring the ever-present spectre of overtime. Blackhawks analyst Pat Foley has HAD ENOUGH, and his presence on the NBCSN simulcast of Comcast SportsNet’s Chi...
Petr Mrazek Boner Sends Red Wings Out Of The Playoffs
There are two ways to look at the Tampa Bay Lightning’s game and series-winning goal deep into the third period....
Jake Arrieta Throws First No-Hitter Of The Season
The Cubs might have to break out the pajamas again, because Jake Arrieta has thrown another no-hitter, blanking the Reds in a 16-0 blowout win on only 119 pitches. Incredibly, Arrieta hasn’t lost a start since his no-no back in August, and today was (obviously) his best outing since then. He only st...
Rude Orange County Lax Bros Arrested On Suspicion Of Stealing A Turkey And Taking It On A Bender
Orange County High School’s agriculture teacher Patti Williams went to check on the school’s animal pen on Sunday morning, when she made a startling discovery: Tim the Turkey was missing....
Joey Rickard Teleports A Hit Right Through Josh Donaldson's Glove
Oh, you thought Troy Tulowitzki’s ragged-ass glove would be the only piece of equipment from the left-side of the Blue Jays’ infield to make news this season? Wrong....
Mike Trout Will Be Just Fine
Mike Trout started the 2016 season on an uncharacteristic slump. Before yesterday’s game against the White Sox, the Angels center fielder was hitting .220 (the worst through 14 games since his rookie season) and had only four extra base hits and a single, lonely dinger to his name. He’s really strug...
Francesco Totti Starred In Front Of Roma Fans, For Perhaps The Final Time
Francesco Totti might be the most beloved athlete by his team’s fans in the world. At 39 he still plays for hometown club Roma, who he signed with as a 12-year-old in 1989. He is Roma’s captain—he was first named in 1998, 18 goddamn years ago—and holds numerous club and Serie A records....
Deadspin Up All Night: Always Cry For Love, Never Cry For Pain
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. RIP to the greatest....
Report: Wizards Hire Scott Brooks As Head Coach
The next head coach of the Washington Wizards will be former Oklahoma City Thunder coach Scott Brooks, according to Adrian Wojnarowski. He reports that the deal is for five years and $35 million, and David Aldridge reports that all five years are guaranteed....
MTV Accidentally Adds Fresh Prince Video To All-Day Marathon
MTV suspended all scheduled programming today to air an all-day Prince marathon in wake of the musician’s passing, but it looks like searching for “prince” in the network’s video database didn’t work so well. Sandwiched between videos for “New Power Generation” and “Controversy” turned up “Girls Ain...