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Bills Fan Submits His Audition For WWE
Bills fans continue to be America’s greatest source of shameless hijinks. This video comes to us from yesterday’s tailgate, and while it is not nearly as gross as some of the other things Bills fans have been up to, it is still very reckless, and therefore very Bills....

The Bills Can't Stop Taking Penalties
After Buffalo’s Week 2 loss to the Patriots, a game in which the Bills were called for 18 penalties (with 14 accepted for 140 yards), Rex Ryan spoke about the team’s need to get more disciplined. “We want to be the least penalized team in the league,” Ryan said. “That’s kind of a goal we’re shooting...

Clay Matthews Kept Picking On Colin Kaepernick
The photo above was taken during yesterday’s Packers-49ers game, right after Packers linebacker Clay Matthews sacked 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick in the third quarter. That’s Matthews stealing Kaepernick’s signature bicep-kiss celebration, which is a pretty good way to troll a quarterback afte...

DeMarco Murray Wants The Damn Ball
Whatever the Eagles’ plan, it’s not working. They’re 1-3 now, smack dab in last place in a weak NFC East after a backbreaking 23-20 loss at Washington. And all along, Chip Kelly has shunted the blame to his players: it’s about “executing,” he’s said since the beginning, not his system. RB DeMarco Mu...

Let Us Now Praise Great Men
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Deadspin Up All Night: You Wanna See A Dead Body?
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. El Niño here....

Ichiro Is On The Mound For The Marlins
Ichiro Suzuki is an ageless wonder who quite possibly has limitless baseball powers he only chooses to dole out sparingly for the art of it. One of those powers is pitching, which he did against the Phillies today. His official line? One inning pitched, one earned run, and two hits. Here’s some evid...

Colts' Senior Citizens' Collective Beats Up On The Jaguars
The last time Matt Hasselbeck started an NFL game, he replaced a hurt Jake Locker in Tennessee in 2012. He wasn’t supposed to see time then, either, already in the “fossilized mentor” stage of his career, which he now occupies in Indianapolis with Andrew Luck. He’s well past his due date, I’m saying...

Rays Ruin Mark Buehrle's Last Game With First Grand Slam Of The Season
The Rays haven’t had a great season. They’ll finish with a losing record, even after they most likely beat the Blue Jays today. Remarkably, Tampa Bay went the first 161 games never hitting a grand slam, despite 142 plate appearances with the bases loaded. That changed today when Joey Butler went dee...

Ndamukong Suh Can’t Save The Dolphins, Who Suck
Every time the NFL rolls whatever waterlogged Floridian team has been exiled to London in any given year, I wonder how any foreign, casual observer would ever turn convert based on what happens in these games. They’re typically bad, and unwatchably so, but I don’t think anything has been less recogn...

Rodgers Out
Liverpool FC announced this afternoon that manager Brendan Rodgers, who has seemingly been on the hot seat for the better part of two years, has been fired. Here’s how they, rather Britishly, phrased it....

José Mourinho's Self-Regard Grows In Inverse Proportion To Chelsea's Record
Hey remember when David Moyes coached United for a year, everyone agreed it was an unmitigated disaster, and it became the standard by which to measure all EPL meltdowns? José Mourinho, the little tyrant man who will probably get fired from the USMNT someday, and Chelsea have started this season thr...

Cops: Priest Pulled Gun On 8-Year-Old Because He Was A Cowboys Fan
Father Kevin Carter of St. Margaret of Cortona in Little Ferry, Nj. was arrested on Friday and charged with one count of fourth degree aggravated assault with a firearm and one count of third degree endangering the welfare of a child for an incident that occurred back on September 13. According to B...

The Hell Are You Doing, ESPN?
ESPN’s broadcast on ABC tonight of Clemson’s home win over Notre Dame featured an inadvertent cutaway to SportsCenter anchors, playing on their iPads, unaware that for an uncomfortably long time they were being broadcast live instead of an emotional post-game interview with Tigers coach Dabo Swinney...

NASCAR Driver Austin Theriault Airlifted After Head-On Wreck To Unprotected Wall
Tonight’s NASCAR truck series race at Las Vegas featured some early, scary fireworks after a head-on crash featuring driver Austin Theriault. The portion of the wall with which Theriault made contact was, according to on-air reports, not protected with a SAFER barrier. Theriault was airlifted to a l...

Max Scherzer Becomes First Pitcher Since Nolan Ryan In 1973 To Throw Two No-Hitters In Same Regular Season
Max Scherzer, who in June came within an out of a perfect game and sandwiched that no-hitter with a one-hitter and five more perfect innings, no-hit the Mets tonight en route to becoming the first hurler since Nolan Ryan in 1973 to hold two teams hitless in the same regular season....

UCLA's Kicker Inadvertently Tackling A Guy With His Helmet, In Extreme Slow Motion
UCLA kicker Ka’imi Fairbairn got blown up while serving as the Bruins’ last chance to stop a Tim White kick return. But Arizona State didn’t take the kick to the house, because Fairbairn’s helmet brought White down. It’s Pac-12 after dark, at least on the east coast....

Walter Matthau Was Addicted To Losing
A Siegel Film, Don Siegel’s account of his life as a film director is an entertaining and instructive guide to making movies. I especially like the section about Siegel’s experience working with Walter Matthau on Charley Varrick. ...

Washington State Tries Fake Punt, Gives Up Touchdown Instead
Washington State’s still holding onto a narrow lead over 24th-ranked Cal today, but this thoroughly ruined fake punt put the Bears back in the game. We don’t blame the Cougars for trying the fake—4th and 1 at midfield is prime time to go for it, really—but punters are not running backs....

Deadspin Up All Night: At The Tee-Ball Games
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Hell of a day for Texas, man. ...