i Page 5242 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Feds: Ironman Ran An Illegal Lottery And Made Millions
There have been a few ways to enter the Ironman World Championship in Hawaii: earn a slot, try the auction, get picked via the legacy program, or plunk down $50 to enter the Ironman Lottery. That last option made Ironman’s owner, the Tampa-based World Triathlon Corporation, a whole lot of money, acc...
Nick, The Cubs Threw Out Your Grandma’s Personalized Brick
Nick, my man, we have some bad news. Remember when your sweet grandma bought a commemorative brick to be placed outside of Wrigley Field, one that would stand as a testament to her love for you and the Cubbies forever? Well, the Cubs just made a sucker out of your sweet grandma, because they threw t...
A Perfect Picnic Beer For Fruit Realists
The Fruits of the Field are the very finest family of solid foodstuff, preferable even to the glorious Meats, Cheeses, and Processed Grains, and eons better than the mere Vegetables, Candies, and Gelatins. This is because fruits are generally attractive (even the meatiest among us will admit that a ...
Report: Titans Gave Scalper Tickets, Wrote Them Off As Military Donation
NFL sellout streaks are practically meaningless except to show fans’ interest when lobbying for a stadium financing, and to avoid blackouts. According to a report from NewsChannel 5 in Nashville, the Titans had a deal with a ticket broker to keep their streak alive and stay on TV....
Team-Wide Meltdown Ends With Manager, 4 Players Red-Carded In 5 Minutes
Okay, you’re losing, and it’s at home, and maybe you feel the first straight red shown to one of your players was harsh, but Jesus, guys, get ahold of yourselves....
ESPN's New Hire Says Global-Warming Fears Are "Intellectually Dishonest"
ESPN is a sports media conglomerate that largely, intentionally operates under the conceit that sports exist within a vacuum, untouched by the outside world except for instances in which the outside world intrudes on the sports universe. It’s a fallacious conceit, but it has some unintended positive...
How To Win Your First Week At A New Job
The nice thing about a new job is that it probably won’t start sucking immediately. It’ll be easy at first—kind of like the first week of class, where the only thing expected of you is your presence and appropriate clothing (anything beyond pajamas). But unlike the first week of school, your first w...
Report: Marketing Firm Owns Rights To Select Brazil National Team Squad
It probably doesn’t surprise anyone to know that Brazil’s corrupt soccer federation engaged in corrupt behavior, but these newly released documents are pretty alarming. According to Brazilian paper Estadão, the federation sold all sorts of the Seleção’s economic rights to a marketing firm, including...
A Zac Efron Movie About DJs: Why?
Alternate headlines for this post include: Don’t Make Movies About DJs, Just Don’t; See Dozens Of White Boys Jump Into A Pool; and What Steve Aoki Hath Wrought. Inspired by Diplo’s Instagram account and written by a fifth-year named Tad with a closet full of neon tanks, here is a trailer for a movie...
The World Is A Hurtful Goddamn Mess: A Message To The Class Of 2015
Oh, God. Grad season. THE WORST. Yes, it’s that time of year when colleges around the nation pay $50,000+ a pop for some celebrity or politician or (God help the children) author to come in and spray hot knowledge all over the senior class before the kids can finally stand in line for a diploma and ...
How To Watch James Harden, The Loathsome Genius
Hi, casual basketball fan! As you’re likely aware, the NBA’s conference finals begin tonight. In the Eastern Conference, the Atlanta Hawks will take on the Cleveland Cavaliers. In the West, the Golden State Warriors will face the Houston Rockets—and their star guard, James Harden....
Robert Kraft Will Not Appeal The Patriots' Penalties
Citing a desire to end this now, Patriots owner Bob Kraft announced that he will “reluctantly” accept the NFL’s penalties for Ballghazi: New England will pay its $1 million fine and lose two draft picks. ...
Taylor Swift's "Bad Blood" Video Is Not A Feminist Manifesto
Taylor Swift, the ambassador of zero chill, spent nine days advertising the debut of her music video for “Bad Blood,” which finally aired during Sunday night’s Billboard Music Awards. The song is the worst track from her chart-topping album, 1989; the new version is redeemed only by an appearance fr...
Who Needs Hitting When You've Got Corey Kluber And Chris Sale?
Chris Sale and Corey Kluber pitched against each other last night, and they each turned in performances that lived up to the Best Pitching Matchup of The Week billing that games featuring two great starters always get but often fail to live up to. In fact, Kluber vs. Sale represented everything that...
Report: IndyCar Driver Was Skewered In Practice Wreck
Canadian driver James Hinchcliffe will probably not race again this year after a brutal single-car crash during Indy 500 practice yesterday. It turns out this was the best-case scenario: according to a day-after report, Hinchcliffe came frighteningly close to bleeding out there on the track....
Kevin Garnett Once Headbutted A Wall While Watching <i>Making The Band</i>
Kevin Garnett will probably go down as the most charming crazy person in the history of the NBA, and there are plenty of moments in Howard Beck’s massive new oral history on Garnett to support that thesis. Perhaps no Garnett-related anecdote has captured the man’s essence as perfectly as this one, f...
The Dispute Between Robert Kraft And Roger Goodell Just Got Sexy
As the Patriots and NFL clandestinely negotiate a mutual agreement to avoid legal war, Adam Schefter hints that owner Robert Kraft and commissioner Roger Goodell are now back on good terms. Schefter comes to this conclusion because a source told him that Kraft and Goodell hung out on a couch and hug...
Report: The NFL Asked The Patriots To Make Themselves Look Guilty
And the Patriots complied! Ballghazi by this point is a stacked farce, where every new outrageous development only serves to obscure why we were supposed to be outraged in the first place. But one very paradoxical question still looms large: If the Patriots, as they maintain, shouldn’t be punished b...