i Page 5270 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tom Brady Lied And Killed Babies With His Lies
It’s the day after the NFL’s bombshell revelation—all revelations must be BOMBSHELL—that Tom Brady destroyed his cell phone before NFL investigators could get their hands on it and use it to expose his plots. But he destroyed more than just his cell phone that day, fair reader … HE DESTROYED OUR NAT...
Taste Roger Goodell's Wrath With Our NFL Punishment Generator
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is a ruddy incompetent who draws out decisions on punishing league employees in order to soak up the most positive attention he can. Until now, fans have only been to take part in this experience as third parties. Thanks to the NFL Punishment Generator, though, you too...
Accused Neck Puncher Miguel Herrera Fired From Mexico Job
Yeah, this was always going to happen. A couple days after a journalist alleged that Mexico manager Miguel Herrera ran up on him in an airport and punched him in the neck immediately following Mexico’s victory in the Gold Cup final, Herrera has officially been fired....
Rich People Are Using Cryotherapy To Freeze Themselves Skinny
If I told you you could stand in a tube of cold air for a few minutes to lose weight and be in the best shape of your life would you do it? Are you a rich dummy? Did you answer “yes” to both of the previous questions? Then allow me to introduce you to cryotherapy, a new sci-fi method of freezing off...
This Kid Gets What Sports Are All About
Reader Tim sent us this video of a young boy playing basketball with the same enthusiasm that James Harden brings to the defensive end. Tim tells us that this youngster may actually not be all that keen on being out on the court, and we can buy it; when it comes to shuffling aimlessly, no one does i...
Vin Baker's Training To Manage A Starbucks
Vin Baker had a lengthy career in the NBA, but financially, he has nothing to show for it. Because of alcoholism, bad investments, and friends and family using him, Baker ended up in the gutter with almost no money. The current-day Baker is in better shape; the Providence Journal found him training ...
Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Atlanta Falcons
Some people are fans of the Atlanta Falcons. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Atlanta Falcons. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. ...
How To Get A Cheap Motorcycle And Not Crash It
The problem is, most things are Good in inverse proportion to the degree to which they’re Fun. Broccoli is Good; Bacon is Fun. Taxes are Good; Casinos are Fun. Gyms are Good; Bars are Fun. You get the picture. But assuming, as I do, that all of us must live at least a little, few things are less Goo...
'Skins: A Billion-Kerjillion People Read About Our Stupid Team
Dan Snyder’s football team continues to be the biggest embarrassment in sports. To wit:...
The Nationals Are Kind Of Boning Drew Storen
The Washington Nationals just made a trade that should help fix their biggest weakness—the back end of the bullpen—by bringing in Jonathan Papelbon to be the new closer. Papelbon will take the job from current closer Drew Storen, who will slide into a set-up role and give the Nats a great 1-2 punch ...
The Royals Are Obsessed With "Trap Queen"
The competition for song of the summer was over last winter: it’s Fetty Wap’s “Trap Queen,” and I will brook no dissent on this. It’s also Royals outfielder Lorenzo Cain’s walk-up music, and a refrain from it has infiltrated the Kansas City clubhouse, to the consternation of reporters:...
Cleancast: Ever Wondered How Gross Restaurants Really Are?
So ... have you? Do you wonder if restaurant employees are actually washing their hands after using the restroom? Does the thought of trichinosis send you into an emotional spiral? My guest this week on the official Ask a Clean Person podcast is Daniel Gritzer, the culinary director at Serious Eats,...
Report: NFL Would've Halved Suspension If Tom Brady Admitted Guilt
The only thing we know about Ballghazi with any degree of certainty is what will happen next: Roger Goodell’s decision will be challenged in court. The NFLPA has announced its intention to sue—with Tom Brady’s backing—likely in a Minnesota federal court, where Judge David Doty has a history of pro-p...
Drake's New Diss Track Comes With A Great Sports Troll
Drake and Meek Mill are beefing because Meek claimed that Drake doesn’t write his own raps. This morning, Drake released his second diss track aimed at Meek, and it’s pretty good, as diss tracks go, but what I really like about it is the cover art:...
Tom Brady: "I Did Nothing Wrong"
Throughout the—what, six months now? Jesus—of the Ballghazi scandal, Tom Brady has publicly and privately maintained his innocence. Now that his four-game suspension has been upheld, Brady has made his strongest statement yet. He wasn’t involved with deflating footballs, he said, and has been railro...
Jenrry Mejia Popped For Steroids Again, Doesn't Bother With An Excuse
Mets closer Jenrry Mejia was suspended 80 games for testing positive for stanozolol in April. While he didn’t appeal his suspension, Mejia professed his innocence, releasing a statement that said in part “I can honestly say I have no idea how a banned substance ended up in my system.” ...
Omar Infante And Alcides Escobar Just Made A Ridiculous Play
There is something very fun and pleasing about how the defensive tools are reversed on this play, with Omar Infante throwing the ball with his glove and Alcides Escobar catching it with his hand. It’s supposed to be the other way around, guys! ...